Most Awful Thing Said to You Either During or After Sex

what is the finnish term for 'fuckbuddy'?

There are a few, but I think "vakipano" ("regular fuck") is the most common.

I've been told I was incapable of basic human contact, that was a fun one.

Other than that, I think Johnny Fever OTM about men not complaining much.

Yea p much a chick could put scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass and I'd still be grateful for the opportunity

Wahaaaa

you made a mistake

lol

2 days after me and a friend had got it on we were chatting in a bar and she said "I've definitely decided I'm a lesbian now"

??? why the hell would you say that to someone, even if you are thinking it?

lol it was cool really, it was a general convo and I wasn't butthurt. plus I like to think I just spoiled her for men

hehe. I s'pose that's ok.

I just remembered where my "just finish up" came from. I had mono at the time and an enlarged spleen (so sholdn't have been having sex to begin with, but well my g/f at the time put it simply "I'm not waiting that long (1-3 months for spleen to heal)".

so naturally it made things quite painful and, well...generally discomfort in the abdominal area tends to uh make it hard to....thrust over and over.

so basically I was having trouble, and she got bored and upset that it was taking so long. and then got mad at me that I didn't tell her 'what i needed' to help me.

HOW ABOUT REDUCING THE SIZE OF MY SPLEEN, BITCH.

i still think the "i'm not waiting that long" bothered me more cuz it was essentially insinuating to me 'if you won't have sex w/ me, i'll have it with someone else' if I didn't put my body at risk. not like we couldn't have done foreplay or nothin ya know!

2 days after me and a friend had got it on we were chatting in a bar and she said "I've definitely decided I'm a lesbian now"

― The north-east's Number 2 children's party magician (Noodle Vague), Saturday, March 12, 2011 1:53 PM (30 minutes ago)

dude i'm bestmanning for in august lost his virginity to a girl that shaved her head and joined LGBT association within the week.

when you've been with the best there's really only one option

dude didn't even try to front with that shit

TO HIS CREDIT, IMO

"I used to be a junkie. I can't remember how I got money to buy all that dope. How do you think I got money to buy all that dope?"

I really wouldn't be that bugged about sleeping with a former junkie or former prostitute, but the way she was like trying to make me guess about it was supremely creepy.

for a second I thought I was reading the Salem thread

xp Dear God, San, you've really had to put up with some really awful women.

Urgh, that just made me think about a friend who's an ex-junkie who was a stripper concurrently. afaik there was nothing weird going on on the side, but bleeeeh

I was all like "stealing car radios?"

'this is awkward. i guess youre not into cuddling'

broke my heart before i could break hers

"ooh Captain Butler"

think i posted this in another thread once but my g/f at the time told me after sex that she had psychic abilities, that she could see her future child and who the father was, and that it wasn't me.

(she frequently talked about her psychic abilities but I'm fairly sure this one was wrong as she's married now and she didn't even KNOW the guy she's married to when she had that 'vision')

Can we get a trigger warning on this thread title

you're serious, aren't you

my g/f said sex with me was a trigger 4 her

[Not for the faint of heart]

this is iltmi right

"you're too hairy," from the fist person to ever go down on me. we were both 14. we continued to hook up throughout high school so i guess he became okay w/ it but at 14 i didn't have the self-confidence to shrug off the comment so it affected me a lot, i continued to feel self-conscious about body hair for years. i don't feel that way anymore.

"i want your tongue in me all night," from the first girl i went down on, it was in college, it was awful bc i didn't have all night, i had to leave at 2am to catch a ride to go to a conference at NYU, on latin american political movements. i don't remember anything from the conference except they gave us headphones to hear the panelist's translations. i just remember wishing i didn't leave :/

Unfortunate typo or
Deliberate tmi there

haha i loled at that too

lool i had to read my post over a couple of times. unfortunate typo.

"...they gave us headphones..." Is a Prince-worthy entendre in that context too.

One time I was 22 and I brought a Felt CD over to my boyfriend's house and I was excited to listen to it, put it on, we started making out, and after a few minutes, he said "Could you brush your teeth? and change the music?" He was so surprised when I broke up with him later that week

And but the worst thing I ever said during sex was when it became clear that I shouldn't put my face where I was about to put it and I stopped everything and said "man, you gotta weed your garden"

just caught up here and for some reason imagined marcos attempting to explain, "i can't, i have to leave at 2am to go to a conference at NYU, on latin american political movements!!" without pausing, just attempting to talk with his tongue hanging out of his mouth

"Let battle commence!"

This is more like affectionate laughter than horror to be fair. We'd spoken about our mutual enjoyment of Alan Partridge earlier in the evening, and everybody loves a comedy comeback, right?

I can still see the look of embarrassment on his face when it dawned on him that I'd not gotten the reference. Poor, hopeless guy.

lol xp i missed that