Sex Droughts

forgot to bump this a while back, so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I555U5wGns

omg u haven't had sex since 1977

tho tbf a prius might help you break that loong wait

ridin' high

Um. So. A month in with an awesome guy and we still havent uh, you know. I mean, we've done lots of entertaining things but not the obvious. Because... um..

this is awkward. Cos he cant get it up. Guys what do I do here? I know this is Horrible thing #1 for a guy and this hasnt happened to me before ugh. I'm not taking it personally, I know he must be mortified. ARGH.

*cough*gay*cough*

Yeah that has crossed my mind :/ I dont think its the case. But ugh.

is his prob in any way booze or other substance related?

Hahah shit no he's straightedge :) If anything it seems to be a condom thing?

Ugh i feel so weird talking about this

ha yo sometimes that can be a thing ime but then as we know i drink too much. isn't viagra cheap and readily available or wd it interfere with that whole xedgex thing?

Wait so he can get hard but then loses it when he puts on the condom or can't get hard at all period.

The former E. :(

have u tried putting it on for him?

Guys is this thread deindexed :/

That's possible--my husband's had the same problems fucking with a condom during his life. Could it be some medications he's taking? Blood pressure, antidepressants?

lol no ive never done that for anyone hahah Im a klutz xpost

OK the former's a lot better of the two imo. I'd be worried if it was the later but I think that the condom issue is def a thing for some guys. Unfortunately I don't really have much advice. Errr Noodle could be onto something though I guess. Make it part of the whole thing and all sexylike?

You've never put a condom on anyone?! Wow. Now might be a good time to start esp if it helps him? Sorry Trayce that must be tough.

sexylike sexing, yes that is a plan

Hard to explain w/out getting tmi, we have a ton of fun, he's enjoying it, but then when we try to something something it all falls apart, I accepted "its cos yr new" for 2 weeks but its been a month now and I dunno how to roll with this anymore. I feel like I'm the lame fish.

argh I am so fucking embarrased talking about this haha erk

Given some of the things Trayce has told us about him, I'm wondering if this is a madonna/whore complex coming out.

Uh. What?

Sorry that was rude. No no. Things are fine mostly! Its just this one oh god why did I bring this up.

Try putting it on with your mouth. That's fun.

bringing it up would've been a good idea [/spinaltap]

soz.

Like he says, he may just be nervous with new partners, so time may be on your side here. Oh, and another thing: Has he had an orgasm yet with you?

don't be embarrassed Trayce! I would think that if the sensation of the condom is causing loss of boom-chkka-wow feelings they would have to be compensated for by something else like verbal maybe? or w/e but I am just guessing, I didn't get busy w/o a condom until I'd been DOIN IT for a couple of years so it always sort of seemed like the "this is how you have sex" way to me

The standard Dan Savage line is, "if erections are the problem, stick with stuff that doesn't require them." When his dick gets jealous of all the play that his tongue and hands are getting, his dick will get over its pout, get up off the bench and say "put me in, coach." In the meantime, take the focus off the dick, pretend it's not there.

^ good advice. it could also maybe be the condom. are they a brand he has used before? it could be too tight/constricting for him or something.

had to learn from day 1 with condoms as a requirement, kinda glad now tbh- had never considered it as a problem.

Anyone 45 or younger has grown up with the "no glove=no love" ethic, so that's less likely to be a problem in this case.

^^ dramatically underestimating the amount of irresponsible people doing stupid crap

People don't always live up to their ethics.

How many times have you attempted sexytimes? A few or a lot? Because I had some troubles a couple years ago keeping an erection when using a condom. Made for a disappointing travel weekend, but figured out after the fact that I was being too modest with myself and should've bought bigger condoms *nobrag*.

Going condom shopping together may be the last thing on earth you two want to do together, but it may fix this problem (and it'll probably be more an event if you do it at an adult store rather than the corner drug store).

My husband's had a problem with breaking condoms all of his life, which changed when he went to larger condoms. (At least from what I remember--we stopped using condoms with each other about six months into things, and we haven't had a third partner during sex for about ten years now.)

for me it was switching to a larger brand and remembering to use lube. always, with the lube.

*sigh* lube has been idle for a while now tho :(

trayce, i totally would not sweat this situ at all: you're having other kinds of sexytimes, that's the important thing. and he can at least get it up, even if he can't keep it up, which is another important thing (i think that rules out any serious erectile issues, either physical or mental).

don't make a big deal out of it to him (i'm sure you're, anyway) bc probably what he needs most to get over this is to know that it doesn't bother you. just keep playing around with getting the condom on and keeping it on/up - lots of good ideas already suggested, but also maybe try (this is awkward...) sort of uh stroking it while he puts the condom on? or other types of stimulating things that will keep his mind off the condom and on the sexytimes ahead.

ya. it's sort of a vicious cycle. once there's a problem, it can become more about the problem itself and not about enjoying yourselves. which makes it worse.

hey trayce this might help.

I've dealt with this issue before, trayce. get bigger condoms.

Most guys I know are more comfortable using Magnums or Lifestyles (which are a tad bigger)

or poppers

oh wait, straightedge

The people who pull condoms over their shoes or blow them up to the size of watermelons and say "OK, guys, stop whining about condoms being too small," dud or dud?

dud. to the max.

I probably would've been one of those people before it happened to me, though. lol

Maybe regular condoms are too big for those people.

Kind of rly regretting starting this last night tbh, but thank you for the useful advice everyone - its appreciated.

iirc lifestyles are mad small?? *nobrag*