Sex Droughts

Given some of the things Trayce has told us about him, I'm wondering if this is a madonna/whore complex coming out.

Uh. What?

Sorry that was rude. No no. Things are fine mostly! Its just this one oh god why did I bring this up.

Try putting it on with your mouth. That's fun.

bringing it up would've been a good idea [/spinaltap]

soz.

Like he says, he may just be nervous with new partners, so time may be on your side here. Oh, and another thing: Has he had an orgasm yet with you?

don't be embarrassed Trayce! I would think that if the sensation of the condom is causing loss of boom-chkka-wow feelings they would have to be compensated for by something else like verbal maybe? or w/e but I am just guessing, I didn't get busy w/o a condom until I'd been DOIN IT for a couple of years so it always sort of seemed like the "this is how you have sex" way to me

The standard Dan Savage line is, "if erections are the problem, stick with stuff that doesn't require them." When his dick gets jealous of all the play that his tongue and hands are getting, his dick will get over its pout, get up off the bench and say "put me in, coach." In the meantime, take the focus off the dick, pretend it's not there.

^ good advice. it could also maybe be the condom. are they a brand he has used before? it could be too tight/constricting for him or something.

had to learn from day 1 with condoms as a requirement, kinda glad now tbh- had never considered it as a problem.

Anyone 45 or younger has grown up with the "no glove=no love" ethic, so that's less likely to be a problem in this case.

^^ dramatically underestimating the amount of irresponsible people doing stupid crap

People don't always live up to their ethics.

How many times have you attempted sexytimes? A few or a lot? Because I had some troubles a couple years ago keeping an erection when using a condom. Made for a disappointing travel weekend, but figured out after the fact that I was being too modest with myself and should've bought bigger condoms *nobrag*.

Going condom shopping together may be the last thing on earth you two want to do together, but it may fix this problem (and it'll probably be more an event if you do it at an adult store rather than the corner drug store).

My husband's had a problem with breaking condoms all of his life, which changed when he went to larger condoms. (At least from what I remember--we stopped using condoms with each other about six months into things, and we haven't had a third partner during sex for about ten years now.)

for me it was switching to a larger brand and remembering to use lube. always, with the lube.

*sigh* lube has been idle for a while now tho :(

trayce, i totally would not sweat this situ at all: you're having other kinds of sexytimes, that's the important thing. and he can at least get it up, even if he can't keep it up, which is another important thing (i think that rules out any serious erectile issues, either physical or mental).

don't make a big deal out of it to him (i'm sure you're, anyway) bc probably what he needs most to get over this is to know that it doesn't bother you. just keep playing around with getting the condom on and keeping it on/up - lots of good ideas already suggested, but also maybe try (this is awkward...) sort of uh stroking it while he puts the condom on? or other types of stimulating things that will keep his mind off the condom and on the sexytimes ahead.

ya. it's sort of a vicious cycle. once there's a problem, it can become more about the problem itself and not about enjoying yourselves. which makes it worse.

hey trayce this might help.

I've dealt with this issue before, trayce. get bigger condoms.

Most guys I know are more comfortable using Magnums or Lifestyles (which are a tad bigger)

or poppers

oh wait, straightedge

The people who pull condoms over their shoes or blow them up to the size of watermelons and say "OK, guys, stop whining about condoms being too small," dud or dud?

dud. to the max.

I probably would've been one of those people before it happened to me, though. lol

Maybe regular condoms are too big for those people.

Kind of rly regretting starting this last night tbh, but thank you for the useful advice everyone - its appreciated.

iirc lifestyles are mad small?? *nobrag*

xp I'm glad we could help.

suddenly feelin inadequate for finding normal condoms adequate :''(.

(i'll tell myself that uk ones are bigger than us ones.)

there's some condom spec document I found once on the internet and for some reason I thought i remembered lifestyles being a bit bigger (closer to Magnums iirc). But maybe I am remembering incorrectly.

MAYBE I AM THINKING OF DUREX

durex seem snug imo

I used to have similar sorts of problems with condoms, and it can become sort of a psychological vicious circle: you "flop" once with a condom, the next time you become stressed and afraid that's it's gonna happen again, which of course only makes it more likely to "flop" again. Also, if you move from a long-term relationship where the other person used pills/rings/etc to a new one where condoms are needed again, getting used to them again might take a while. So I definitely agree with what people have said above: concentrate on the non-penile joys of sex and try to make him relax and be less stressed about not getting it up, since the stress can actually one reason for not getting an erection.

haha "flop"

yo is it true tuomas got flopsonned by a condom after a tmi thread??????

*flop*

Btw, I deindexed this thread as per your request.

Thanks T :) I really regret saying anything cos he knows of ILX's existence at least in theory so could easily find this, sigh. I'm sure it'll be ok tho.

That's a bit tricky; I could delete your posts on the subject, but then I'd have to delete the answers other people gave too, which wouldn't be fair.

If you fear something something bad might come out of it, I can always drop this thread from the New Answers page and lock it though. Let me know if that's what you want.

just change it so it looks like underrated aerosmith made all the questionable posts, I'll take the hit here

you're such a not-standing-to-attention whore

which is not the best kind

This is where the thread degenerates into a bunch of dick jokes.

i'm waiting...

xxxp For those about to flop, we salute you

(sorry, but I heard you were AC/DC)

just change it so it looks like underrated aerosmith made all the questionable posts, I'll take the hit here

Hahahaha <3 u mang.

^^^^

keep misreading this threadname as Sex Doughnuts & wanting to do a parody thread but there arent enough funny gis results just this one rly

http://blog.trutv.com/.a/6a00d83451d24369e201156fb2b81e970c-150wi