Public Bathroom Etiquette...

2 - Don't take 10 minutes to do a bump in the stall, butterfingers, and I laugh if you bring your homie and get immediately busted, mr. four feet. Fuck your flaps, rookie, just use a baggie and your car key so you can do it anywhere you want.

3 - NO PUKING IN THE SINK YA FUCKIN BURNOUT

My biggest loo dilemma is always: what to do when the phone rings when I'm sat on it. It usually happens at least once a day at work, and I've still never really been sure what the best thing I do is.

(usually: ignore it, then when I get back to my desk look who called, and go to find them. It's the best solution I can think of, but it still seems rude somehow)

i got really weirded out at work one day when i heard the HR lady talking on her phone in the toilet. it made me wonder what other things she does in the toilet, and what toilet-related particles have come in contact with my personnel file.

(plus, I have a mobile too)

I have no idea what this means.

I thought you meant jazz-mags at first...

Ai lien! I thought that I was the only one who did this.

I learned it from the cleaning crew of Fitzgerald's in Tunica.

-- GARU G (GARU...), April 3rd, 2005 4:35 PM.

at what angle did this occur?

dual xpost

An open letter to the disgusting fucker on my floor who never flushes the toilet after taking a crap:

Hi. Yeah you. You know who you are, you filthy little bitch (and I don't say that in a good way) - would it really be so much to ask that once you're finished evacuating your bowels that you flush the fucking toilet so the rest of us don't have to walk - always unsuspecting and sometimes with our mouths open - into the heinous stench you have so kindly left for us, wondering to ourselves 'DEAR GOD WHAT THE FUCK DIED IN HERE TWO YEARS AGO, SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE, CAN'T BREATHE.... DYING....'????? It doesn't take much, really... You finish, you wipe (I assume you wipe.. oh god), you stand up, readjust your clothing, turn around, depress the handle put there SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT PURPOSE AND NO OTHER and flush. You can even lift your little leg up and step on it for all I care. Just do it. Of all the unpleasant things I have to deal with during the workday, this really takes the shit cake. You win the big turd prize. A-number one. You go girl. Just please, for fuck's sake, when you DO, FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET.

Thank you.

-- luna (luna_cee...), February 13th, 2004 9:14 AM.

PS: Please also wash your hands. The thought that you may not, and then you touch the same door handle I do, therefore transferring your shit particles onto my unsuspecting hand as I walk out the door gives me nightmares - and also forces me to re-wash my hands when I get back into the office, and for fuck's sake, lady, it's winter, they're getting chapped.

You gross bitch.

-- luna (luna_cee...), February 13th, 2004 9:16 AM.

As I, alas, certainly won't reach them great British isles in this lifetime, or most probably evah, I therefore use the chance to try and decrease my impoliteness quotient, and all bad w&c-karma thereof, by instantly heading for the toilet where, once inside, standing next to the tp roll, I'll pronounce loud & clear - "Hey, nice cock, Martin!"
;)

*goeth & pisseth with profusion*