Things you were shockingly old when you learned

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I think I would have been a good teacher.

Mr. Patrick Batman (WmC), Friday, 17 June 2011 14:56 (twelve years ago) link

I for one demand the teachings of the rock and roller cola wars.

Bloompsday (Trayce), Friday, 17 June 2011 14:56 (twelve years ago) link

if i was a teacher i'm pretty sure i'd be saying "i can't take it anymore" on a daily basis

it seems i am the larry (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 17 June 2011 14:57 (twelve years ago) link

Ha!

Bloompsday (Trayce), Friday, 17 June 2011 15:00 (twelve years ago) link

/Mrs Crabapple

Bloompsday (Trayce), Friday, 17 June 2011 15:01 (twelve years ago) link

people have told me i'd be a good teacher too but i'd be afraid i'd turn into either r. lee ermey in full metal jacket or the guy from beavis and butthead who just wants to sit down and rap with y'all a while

it seems i am the larry (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 17 June 2011 15:02 (twelve years ago) link

bah, I worded (or really just italicized) the Sputnik thing badly. Sputnik was the first man-made satellite to orbit the earth. some German V-2 rocket was the first man-made object to reach space, but it wasn't a satellite because it didn't go into orbit. point is, for a long time I thought Sputnik was the first man-made object to reach space when it was preceded by various German and American lower-altitude rockets.

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Friday, 17 June 2011 15:02 (twelve years ago) link

that alt-print screen allows screen capture of only the active window

my years of loafing on ILX have suddenly paid for themselves.

The New Dirty Vicar, Friday, 17 June 2011 15:55 (twelve years ago) link

... that Michael Jackson wrote "Do the Bartman" for the Simpsons.

Mark G, Friday, 17 June 2011 16:23 (twelve years ago) link

The neckbone of a turkey isn't a penis bone. Yes, my own father told me that the neckbone was the turkey's cock when I was 5 or 6 just to fuck with me, and I believed it until my early '20s when i was corrected on this matter, which was kind of embarrasing.

thirdalternative, Friday, 17 June 2011 17:16 (twelve years ago) link

That's amazing!!!

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Saturday, 18 June 2011 01:37 (twelve years ago) link

Michael Jackson wrote "Do the Bartman" for the Simpsons.

Well shit, I never knew that.

Bloompsday (Trayce), Saturday, 18 June 2011 01:46 (twelve years ago) link

four years pass...

That "Just a Gigolo" and "I Ain't Got Nobody" are completely separate songs that were just glued together by Louis Prima several decades after they were written.

anatol_merklich, Tuesday, 18 August 2015 10:03 (eight years ago) link

snot is not in fact dead brain cells. i think i was about 24?

9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 10:08 (eight years ago) link

snot is not in fact dead brain cells. i think i was about 24?

9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 10:08 (eight years ago) link

!

9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 10:08 (eight years ago) link

Guess it actually is

It empowers them, he jokes (albvivertine), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 10:55 (eight years ago) link

Love this thread.

Just learned from this thread that a rosary isn't a rose garden (I'm 29).

Loads of punning names I didn't get, even some porn names.

Until my late teens I couldn't make sense of the sayings "old habits die hard" and "what goes around comes around".

Also in my late teens I learned that when people were playing soccer and shouted "Aussie rules" that they weren't saying "Ozzy rules!"

In my early 20s I learned that Madagascar is not a place in England. I didn't think there was a place in England like Madagascar, I just somehow thought it sounded like the name of an English town or city. I could have swore I've heard the name said in a cockney accent lots of times.

When I was very young and saw John Major talking on the tv news, I assumed newsreading was his second job.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Tuesday, 18 August 2015 14:28 (eight years ago) link

Madagascarborough

9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 14:51 (eight years ago) link

When I was very young and saw John Major talking on the tv news, I assumed newsreading was his second job.

This is brilliant.

I recently had a flashback to watching the news as an eight year old, and believing that Gorbachev and Bush Sr were extremely good, benign people; like the best and most intelligent people in charge of the Earth or something...

9 days from now a.k.a next weekend. (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 August 2015 14:55 (eight years ago) link

Madaga's Car

Mark G, Tuesday, 18 August 2015 15:10 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Just learned that Talulah Gosh is not a massive pop star of the moment, but actually an old indie band.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Monday, 9 November 2015 16:09 (eight years ago) link

Similarly, it took me until a good six months after their rise to fame to realise that Alt-J is not a rapper.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Monday, 9 November 2015 16:22 (eight years ago) link

That international harvester was a brand of refrigerator and not just the name of a swedish prog band:

― nelson algreen (get bent), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 6:18 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I thought it was more significantly the name of the type of school bus hippies were turning into mobile homes in the late 60s and probably even more significantly the type of bus that Ken Kesey and the Pranksters' Furthur was a model of

Stevolende, Monday, 9 November 2015 16:36 (eight years ago) link

i had no idea that "brown sugar" was about slavery until like a year or two ago. i just never knew the lyrics. i knew the chorus.

scott seward, Monday, 9 November 2015 16:45 (eight years ago) link

The rolling stones song? I thought it was abt sex..

niels, Monday, 9 November 2015 18:37 (eight years ago) link

i know, right? it's a good time party anthem.

scott seward, Monday, 9 November 2015 18:46 (eight years ago) link

Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in a market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he's doing alright
Hear him whip the women just around midnight

Brown sugar how come you taste so good?
Brown sugar just like a young girl should

Drums beating, cold English blood runs hot
Lady of the house wonderin' where it's gonna stop
House boy knows that he's doing alright
You shoulda heard him just around midnight

Brown sugar how come you taste so good, now?
Brown sugar just like a young girl should, now

Ah, get along, brown sugar how come you taste so good, baby?
Ah, got me feelin' now, brown sugar just like a black girl should

I bet your mama was a tent show queen
And all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen
I'm no schoolboy but I know what I like
You shoulda heard me just around midnight

Brown sugar how come you taste so good, baby?
Ah, brown sugar just like a young girl should, yeah

I said yeah, yeah, yeah, woo
How come you... how come you taste so good?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, woo
Just like a... just like a black girl should
Yeah, yeah, yeah, woo

scott seward, Monday, 9 November 2015 18:49 (eight years ago) link

turns out its a feel good party anthem about raping underage slaves. who knew?

scott seward, Monday, 9 November 2015 18:50 (eight years ago) link

the rolling stones may have forgotten themselves by now

μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 9 November 2015 18:57 (eight years ago) link

I certainly learned something today... I guess you can't really party to it then?

niels, Monday, 9 November 2015 19:17 (eight years ago) link

Yeesh, it disturbs me that I've heard that song a million times but never understood wtf mick was babbling about there, like I was pretty sure he was using actual English words but I sure couldn't tell.

brimstead, Monday, 9 November 2015 21:01 (eight years ago) link

Isn't is also about heroin?

Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:07 (eight years ago) link

(the 'brown sugar' being the heroin cooked up in a spoon)

Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:08 (eight years ago) link

I thought it was about former Prime Minister Gordon Brown

kinder, Monday, 9 November 2015 21:33 (eight years ago) link

No, that was The Stranglers' 'Golden Brown'.

Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:34 (eight years ago) link

I had never heard of the Ten Commandments until 6th grade.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:41 (eight years ago) link

I've never heard that Rolling Stones song, but I'm sure they came up with a garbage melody and garbage performance to complement their garbage lyrics. they haven't disappointed me yet.

scarlett bohansson (unregistered), Monday, 9 November 2015 21:46 (eight years ago) link

Uncle Acid is a play on antacid. lol

kurt schwitterz, Monday, 9 November 2015 22:11 (eight years ago) link

No, that was The Stranglers' 'Golden Brown'.

― Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Monday, November 9, 2015 9:34 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes that was the joek

kinder, Monday, 9 November 2015 22:15 (eight years ago) link

How to properly pronounce at least a third of the English language, apparently (ongoing)

El Tomboto, Monday, 9 November 2015 22:22 (eight years ago) link

I'm not sure it counts if nobody ever hears the words idk

I ony learned about a month ago that Alt+D puts the cursor into the address bar. This is awesome because now I don't need to get my hands off the keyboard and grab my mouse every time I want to go to a different site.

Mr. Snrub, Monday, 9 November 2015 23:49 (eight years ago) link

i love the rolling stones, but they were disgusting and indefensible in many ways

Treeship, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 00:50 (eight years ago) link

i love the rolling stones art, but they were it is disgusting and indefensible in many ways

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:53 (eight years ago) link

i only learned that "cruise control" was a thing you could do with your car a few years ago

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 01:56 (eight years ago) link

http://www.vulture.com/2015/04/brown-sugar-still-tastes-good.html

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 02:19 (eight years ago) link

I was about 23 when I learned that ponies aren't kid horses.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 10:14 (eight years ago) link

ponies aren't kid horses???

niels, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 12:10 (eight years ago) link

No, turns out they're just a smaller breed. Like horse chihuahuas or something.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 12:12 (eight years ago) link


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