Sex Droughts

I used to not have people over because of that. Then I just became apologetic, but that sounds really pathetic. Now I am just like "hey, don't trip over anything! can I get you a jar of whiskey? my glasses are all dirty."

See, at my last apartment I lived in total chaos and never cleaned up and when I moved last December I made a VOW to myself.

and yes, awaiting a meaningful relationship is most likely going to be major sex drought times. May as well bang the crazies and the freaks while you're waiting for Mr/Ms Right

only recently found out that my current girlfriend and a friend of ours (who i also had one very innocent date with) once had a "serious conversation" about the state of my previous apartment

can I get you a jar of whiskey? my glasses are all dirty."

― mh, Friday, August 19, 2011 9:39 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

<3 wkiw

haha srsly

though i have been in some really dirty apartments belonging to guys and it's an eyebrow-raiser tbh, but they've always had roommates, which in my experience almost always makes for messy/dirty apartments anyway, so while eyebrow may be raised, heart and rest of body is still willing. unless vermin.

i'm kind of a stickler for clean sheets tho, i will admit

but have never had any "serious conversations" about it

laundry is like the only thing I'm obsessive about! well, the washing part, not necessarily the folding and hanging part.

clean laundry > clean cat litter > clean dishes > the rest

wait put 'clean toilet' in there near the top

Ugh yeah I dated a guy once whos bathroom was just gross, giant mountain of damp dirty clothes, toilet skanky, dustbunnies all over. I actually told him it was offputting, haha.

And I mean I'm not a tidy person at all, this toilet was really disgusting.

I also once dated a guy who had a cat litter tray in the middle of his kitchen floor, with newspaper and loose litter scattered EVERYWHERE. He also smoked in bed.

Blleeeuuuggghhh.

i went home with a girl once who was like working 80 hours a week hustling in LA doing film/acting shit and her apartment was such a mess it was impressive.

for some reason i draped the white dress shirt i was wearing over this standing floor fan she had, and the next day when i lifted it up to put it on, it was COVERED in a coat of thick, grey, dust.

i know this hasn't (yet) turned into a contest about who can be the messiest, but i just moved into a place with exposed floorboards and it makes it look totally okay when messy? like this pic of joe brainard's studio

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1160/854679256_754b345320.jpg

Dude, that's not okay

hahahaaa

ohman, true

we're sorry to dash your varnished hopes but that is a disgrace.

it does look better than if it were on linoleum or shag carpet, say, but most things would

also i have dated guys with really messy/nasty apartments but a clean bathroom and reasonably clean kitchen (usable) is a must

hahaaa, poor schlump

ha ha i ducked out of this thread and missed my reprimand. yeah i don't know, it's just i moved here like a month and a half ago & the last thing i want to do after packing is unpack so it's just kinda unfinished, more than it is messy. i still love that pic above, and regrettably have a comprehensive enough frame of reference in terms of comparable messy spaces to judge that this one looks better, on account of the sections of floor peeking out between books/shoes/boxes/photos etc.

can see i'm not going to persuade you all so i'll stop now

But wait we're an artist's apartment, surely normal rules do not apply?

ha
also i think i thought this was in the interiors thread, the one w/elmo's pictures of an awesome kitchen, am kinda distressed that the context through which my apartment status has been interpreted has been 'sex droughts'

you know, life/art/work being one and the same and all that jazz?

xp

well exactly! i have been making collages, also, so

whatever, there is "art stuff" scattered across the floor, not like pizza boxes and general filth. good to have sane clean surroundings, but feel like thoreau's injunction regarding clothes and job might apply here. if you have to redo even the externals of your lifestyle to conform to prospective relationship expectations or mere sex, then maybe that enterprise is misguided? same would apply for act cleaner-uppers... obv. sometimes i guess might be profitable but in general a waste of time

avoid squares imo

or, if you are a square avoid the lost or people who are honest enough to be hapless at times.

and the rest of y'all go fuck yourselves.

amen.

I'm pretty sure I have the worst taking someone home to a messy apt story ever but it's so bad i don't even think I can retell it.

o u tease out with it then

Come on, it's always TMI time here.

whatever, there is "art stuff" scattered across the floor, not like pizza boxes and general filth. good to have sane clean surroundings, but feel like thoreau's injunction regarding clothes and job might apply here. if you have to redo even the externals of your lifestyle to conform to prospective relationship expectations or mere sex, then maybe that enterprise is misguided? same would apply for act cleaner-uppers... obv. sometimes i guess might be profitable but in general a waste of time

gonna parrot at least the first part of this next time someone is grossed out by my living situation, btw.

"i have crete paper and pistachio shells pritt-sticked to my shoe-soles"
"ah, but did thoreau not set up camp on rocky ground?"

also yeah c'mon erica you could be my ghost of christmas future here

Come on, it's always TMI time here.

Hearing this^ in cheerful, TV kids hour show voice!

Tuomas the Train Engine or something

Yeah please share ENBB! Pllllz

bring it on.

http://www.purplepawn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/do_tell.jpg

first time i went to an ex-gf's place she made me hold off for like six hours while she cleaned her place top to bottom. so confounding. tbh prob would have found her natural slovenly environment more charming than her overcooked neurotic efforts at tidying up.

though that was charming in its own way.

aw. people can be so sweet.

fun fact: ants and mice can hide beneath art supplies just as easily as newspapers and food waste. they show up more slowly, but they show up anyway.

they like food better

i don't have ocd and imagine vermin hiding behind every other dust bunny. why have furniture at all? there could be critters hiding underneath that stuff.

ok, I was mostly making excuses

but tbh I am a guy who has had magazines/books/comics/music/electronics strewn everywhere and yeah, you end up with dust on everything and I have ruined things by stepping on, tripping on, or accidentally spilling drinks on more things than I can count

also there is a 0% chance you can ever have any sort of non-caged pet with that setup

having things is the problem.. still working on solution not involving arson :-/

yeh i apologize if sounded flippant

feeling smug b/c my place is tidier than it's been in two years

but historically, consistently have been on the slob side

yeh, get rid of everything. that's what i've been doing. hold on to a couple of weeks worth of clothes for the seasons, essential books music and maybe some keepsakes. and cooking utensils if necessary.

bookshelves everywhere imo

then if you move in with someone, especially a lady, you can carefully hide them in storage or get rid of them and have a haunted look in your eye that is only soothed by...

wait this is about sex droughts, you'd be getting laid by that point

> first time i went to an ex-gf's place she made me hold off for like six hours while she cleaned her place top to bottom. so confounding. tbh prob would have found her natural slovenly environment more charming than her overcooked neurotic efforts at tidying up.

Sad thing is, her place before the tidying-up effort probably still looked better than my place after an emergency tidying-up effort....

I'm quite good about keeping the bathroom clean and not leaving food out - I do have guests over alot, not to mention two flatmates. But my own bedroom goes to hell whenever I'm not in some semblance of a relationship.

lol at both those posts

My house is actually really clean, it's my car that looks like shit

always kind of a ~shock to step into someone's car that is a non-rental and devoid of random junk