Things you were shockingly old when you learned

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Myonga i think it's your old interp that was right - basically, "don't give them the pleasure of getting hot under the collar"

Tracer Hand, Sunday, 28 December 2008 00:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Only, like, 2 years ago did I learn that there is no north pole (i.e. a landmass), as well as that it's Sherbet, not Sherbert.

Girlfriend, you've been scooped like ice cream (mehlt), Sunday, 28 December 2008 02:21 (fifteen years ago) link

okay, i just learnt both of those things

Plaxico (I know, right?), Sunday, 28 December 2008 02:59 (fifteen years ago) link

there's not even a glacier at the northpole? how sad. santa must get awfully wet.

ian, Sunday, 28 December 2008 03:33 (fifteen years ago) link

that <a href=;this</a> existed and that carole was quite so lovely

NI, Sunday, 28 December 2008 06:31 (fifteen years ago) link

guh sorry, this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=I35WA_BSi_w

NI, Sunday, 28 December 2008 06:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Sty-vuh-sint.

O Bama, Up Yours! (The Yellow Kid), Sunday, 28 December 2008 07:08 (fifteen years ago) link

I just figured out last night what those old-timey photographers were doing underneath those big black curtain hoods before taking a picture.

So what is it, I still don't know?

Tuomas, Sunday, 28 December 2008 11:05 (fifteen years ago) link

Setting up the photographic plate, so it didn't get exposed to light?

jel --, Sunday, 28 December 2008 11:11 (fifteen years ago) link

Ah, okay. That makes sense.

Tuomas, Sunday, 28 December 2008 11:12 (fifteen years ago) link

I guess I thought it had something to do with avoiding the glare of sunlight as the photographer got his subject into focus, but that only goes to show that I never really put any thought at all into why the hood was there in the first place.

I used to work at one of those Wal-Mart studios, and we'd have to change out the negatives by sticking the whole camera into a black bag and switching everything around blindly. I remember watching my boss do it the first time for me, and she got those dull shark eyes as she was focusing on something she couldn't see and my solitary thought at the moment was "Well, I bet that's the same look she gets when she's using the toilet paper."

өөө (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 28 December 2008 16:24 (fifteen years ago) link

Because I am shockingly old (for an ILXor), anything I learned recently or am likely to learn from now on qualifies.

Aimless, Monday, 29 December 2008 05:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Red, green, and yellow capsicums are all the same thing, at different stages.

milling through the grinder, grinding through the mill (S-), Monday, 29 December 2008 06:05 (fifteen years ago) link

PP's last graf is splendid!

It was YESTERDAY, watching A Christmas Story for the first time in many years, that I realised I've always pronounced Terre Haute, the Indiana town, incorrectly, at least if Jean Shepherd is any guide and I think he is. I always said "Terry Hot" but Shep says "Terrah Hote"!

Tracer Hand, Monday, 29 December 2008 11:40 (fifteen years ago) link

I just remembered something. It was ages before I worked out what "watersports" meant, in a sexual sense. There used to be adverts in the back of newspapers for "watersports" videos, usually with the subheading "BUY NOW BEFORE THEY ARE BANNED!". And I used to think, "why would the government ban videos of people waterskiing and windsurfing?"

snoball, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 11:55 (fifteen years ago) link

those italics make your thoughts sound like maxwell smart.

estela, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:00 (fifteen years ago) link

"why would someone throw a shoe at the President?"
http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2005/news/051010/dadams2.jpg

snoball, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:04 (fifteen years ago) link

I only recently learned why football pundits always criticise strikers for not shooting into the far corner when coming in from the wing. Fifteen years of hearing that cliche, and Lee Dixon was the first pundit ever to explain it

Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:05 (fifteen years ago) link

"you couldnt get me in the same room as a ouija board"

I'm 35 and been on this board such a long time but only now discovered SS is a GIANT.

I only learned to drive a few months ago. :-(

Nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:20 (fifteen years ago) link

Is it cause keepers always guard the near post?

(NB all I know about feet hockey was learned ages 5-12)

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:22 (fifteen years ago) link

keeper more likely to deflect shot into play again if saved?

Redknapp out (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:25 (fifteen years ago) link

Yes, it's because if the keeper saves he's likely to parry it into the path of a fellow striker. I'd always found it easier to tuck it in at the near post myself - no team player, me

Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 12:35 (fifteen years ago) link

I just remembered something. It was ages before I worked out what "watersports" meant, in a sexual sense. There used to be adverts in the back of newspapers for "watersports" videos, usually with the subheading "BUY NOW BEFORE THEY ARE BANNED!".

Haw, I learnt that in 1987 through a teen girls' magazine's review of Alison Moyet's album Raindancing (I had older stepsisters, you see). According to the review, she had wanted it to be titled Watersports, but was DENIED by The Man at the record company because of ^^^.

anatol_merklich, Wednesday, 31 December 2008 02:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Puns department: Johnny Marr is (roughly) 'I'm angry' in French.

wake up LIDL (suzy), Wednesday, 31 December 2008 02:16 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh yeah! It's more like "I've had enough", but yeah.

I relate to a lot of these. I remember imagining racehorses inside the TV as a child.

Chris in Belfast, Wednesday, 31 December 2008 11:44 (fifteen years ago) link

i was shockingly old when i learned the smiths blew

matt p (Matt P), Wednesday, 31 December 2008 11:48 (fifteen years ago) link

two years pass...

nobody told me that beards were itchy!

Bus to Yoker (dog latin), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 10:30 (twelve years ago) link

only for some people...never had that problem.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 10:33 (twelve years ago) link

your skin is obv too womanly.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 10:33 (twelve years ago) link

apply conditioner

the deee-lite psa (kkvgz), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 11:07 (twelve years ago) link

I didn't know that luggage went into airplane cargo holds until I was about 14. I just thought there was a massive series of underground tubes/conveyor belts that whisked luggage to other parts of the continent. I only questioned this when I first contemplated how luggage got over the ocean. I made the mistake of asking this aloud in front of some friends who looked at me like I was crazy/making a bad joke and then I finally learned how the great modern phenomenon of air travel truly works, the end.

salsa shark, Wednesday, 15 June 2011 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

salsa shark, are you familiar with the burrito tunnel?

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

why tits bounce

coffeetripperspillerslyricmakeruppers (Latham Green), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

Also soap operas were so poperas in my head until a revelatory moment I can still remember, when I was sitting on the stairs at home. I realised it was nothing to do with the fact they were 'so popular'

This is awesome! I love it when someone's misconception is more logical than the truth.

Me, I learned last year (age 42) that ponies are not just really young horses.

boring wank about Linda's pies and Denny Laine's tunings (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link

i learned that ingmar and ingrid bergman were NOT brother and sister only a couple of years ago

badtz-maruizm (donna rouge), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 17:48 (twelve years ago) link

Right. They're mother and son, of course.

SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:03 (twelve years ago) link

no, they are the same person, before and after sex change. Surely everyone knows this?

The New Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:06 (twelve years ago) link

nobody told me that beards were itchy!

― Bus to Yoker (dog latin), Wednesday, June 15, 2011 5:30 AM (7 hours ago)

there's that day and a half when stubbly turns to furry, and then after that it's ok

Mr. Patrick Batman (WmC), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

...unless you are not, in fact, a person with a beard, but rather a clean shaven-person who is kissing the person with the beard, in which case the only way to stop the itching and scratching is to grow a beard of your own so as to cushion yourself from the other person's beard. this works best if both of you are men.

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:17 (twelve years ago) link

or a dwarf woman

coffeetripperspillerslyricmakeruppers (Latham Green), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

not all dwarf women have facial hair, coffeetripperspillerslyricmakeruppers (Latham Green).

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:21 (twelve years ago) link

Me, I learned last year (age 42) that ponies are not just really young horses.

Me too.

Shart Shaped Box (Phil D.), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 18:43 (twelve years ago) link

They can still be if you want them to be. Just like how rhinos are obese unicorns.

StanM, Wednesday, 15 June 2011 19:13 (twelve years ago) link

Despite having read the pony/horse thing here and in the previous thread, I still don't think my mind is willing to accept it.

SNEEZED GOING DOWN STEPS, PAIN WHEN PUTTING SOCKS ON (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 19:37 (twelve years ago) link

A pony is a small horse (breed), and a young horse is generally also a small horse, so it's not that weird of a belief.

mh, Wednesday, 15 June 2011 20:01 (twelve years ago) link

I on the other hand am a stallion

coffeetripperspillerslyricmakeruppers (Latham Green), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 20:11 (twelve years ago) link

--I used to think death metal vocals could only be achieved using studio manipulation
--when I was like 10 years old I used to think those raspy high pitched hard rock singers a la Brian Johnson, the dude from Cinderella, Rob halford, et al, were demonic or were achieving those sounds due to some pact with the devil, so when I got the Wayne's World soundtrack Cinderella's "Hot and Bothered" scared me so I always skipped it.

Motel Kamzoil, P.I. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 22:02 (twelve years ago) link

I was also like 20 when I realized many live albums were overdubbed and it didn't provet hey really could pull it off live

Motel Kamzoil, P.I. (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 15 June 2011 22:05 (twelve years ago) link

Realized I was going around pronouncing "wolf" like "woof" when I was about 30 years old.

Darin, Wednesday, 15 June 2011 22:25 (twelve years ago) link


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