Florida: What the F#@K?

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Also, FWIW, the primary engine of politics in Florida isn't culture, it's taxes, particularly the homestead exemption. The homebuilders who dominate the state's economy have an obvious interest in keeping property taxes low (there is no state income tax in Florida), the elderly population who live off interest income and pensions have a clear interest in keeping their own property and use taxes low, and the megarich who crowd the state's southern coastline have an obvious interest in protecting their assets from bankruptcy and other legal pitfalls. The elderly and retired are the most active voting bloc, and the real estate and development industries spread the most money around. The big political players aren't evangelicals and culture warriors -- they're the AARP, the Mortgage Bankers Association, the National Association of Home Builders, and slippery R/E magnates like Al Hoffman, Armando Codina (a Cuban developer who gave a young Jeb his first job in the state) and Mel Sembler (who chaired Dubya's state campaign in 2000 and is now ambassador to Italy). The Assemblies of God and other born-again ministries are basically chew-toys for the moneyed interests in the state.

rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Sunday, 10 April 2005 20:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"I'd avoid Daytona Beach, Polk County (Lakeland/Winter Haven/Bartow), and everything within 50 miles of Jacksonville save for the Riverside area and St. Augustine at all costs."

i grew up on the coast between jacksonville and daytona beach. you can do worse that a slow pace sleepy beach town, yet i sort of understand on some levels.

gainesville is also a good town. very comparable to tallahassee, but without the state politics. (but the same annoying amount of college football insanity.)

florida's a love/hate for me. i miss it, but i'm not sure i'd go back and multiple parts of the state bring that out in me. east coast south florida. tampa/st pete/sarasota/ftmyers. gville. jacksonville to daytona. etc.


msp (mspa), Monday, 11 April 2005 04:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

As I said, Tallahassee's probably the most sensible and progressive city in the state (not that we're making any progress but we don't seem to fall backward like the other major cities in Florida).

i was gonna say that everything that i've ever seen or read about jacksonville makes the place seem to be the worst -- the worst example of White People Jesusland gone amuck this side of colorado springs or branson MO.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 11 April 2005 04:49 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jacksonville is probably the worst-planned city in the state, which is saying something in Florida, where many "cities" are built as unincorporated housing developments that only later flower into municipalities because of the incredible strain they place on existing county and state services (like schools, water systems, road maintenance, etc.). It grew rapidly starting in the early 1980s thanks to Reagan-era high military spending and the concurrent collapse of the housing market in the Northeast.

rasheed wallace (rasheed wallace), Monday, 11 April 2005 10:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

you said it about the planned housing stuff. the town i grew up in had mile after mile of paved road with no houses. gradually it filled up and is beyond control to some degree. we had fun parties in secluded culdesacs.

i wouldn't say jacksonville is the worst. if you're looking for gun toting intolerant christianity, you can do much worse than jacksonville. it's just a visible town in one of the largest states in the country.

most southerners agree: florida ain't the south. it's the thing dangling below the bible belt.

msp (mspa), Monday, 11 April 2005 13:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I'm starting to doubt that Florida is a real state.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 11 April 2005 21:08 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

My family has dragged me there several times, but now I'm thinking that they may have been lying and that I was just in south Georgia or Alabama.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 11 April 2005 21:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

curtis i told you that story about how i thought i was driving to florida and i thought i was in alabama and thinking 'man the skies are so blue here' and just soaking it in and then it turned out i was near la grange?

j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 11 April 2005 21:44 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


Family feud erupts after teens date; 6 wounded
Members of neighboring families shot at each other, wounding six people, as part of a long-running feud that victims said peaked when a girl from one family began dating a boy from the other one.

Six people ages 14 to 22 were taken to hospitals Sunday for treatment of gunshot wounds. Two remained hospitalized Monday, one in serious condition...

kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 05:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ahh, near Palatka. I've been through there once.

Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i used to have to drive through there to go from college to the beach/home, etc.

yeah, it's your typical, small southern town.

there's this absolutely awesome marine statue on the big bridge there... he's holding this big grenade or mortar shell at crotch level. totally phallic.

incidentally, "palatka" still remains the name of one of my favorite gainesville hardcore/thrash bands.


msp (mspa), Tuesday, 12 April 2005 14:41 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Florida OKS new self-defense law

*Rock rock rock rock*

donut debonair (donut), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 23:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I liked Florida. I drove there in a mad dash between hurricanes last year. What a strange place. Lots of shell-art and boiled peanuts.

Seriously, WTF?

django (django), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 23:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


django (django), Wednesday, 27 April 2005 23:48 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

The Florida measure says any person "has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm."

Jeb, I know where you live. You're unwittingly threatening my life, liberty, and pursuit of hot fucking happiness.

Ian Riese-Moraine has a grenade, that pineapple's not just a toy! (Eastern Mantr, Thursday, 28 April 2005 15:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Alvarez held a hearing Thursday on whether an abortion might physically or emotionally harm the girl. He met with her in private, but said in court that the state should have done more to help her.

"Where are our priorities in life?" he asked.

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Saturday, 30 April 2005 00:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

FLORIDA: 'WE DON'T SERVE BIN LADENS' Seven men of Middle Eastern descent have sued a Denny's restaurant franchisee and one of its managers for $28 million, saying they were forced to leave after being told, "We don't serve bin Ladens here." The men, all American citizens, are seeking $4 million each from Restaurant Collection Inc., which owns the Denny's franchise in Florida City, and Eduardo Ascano, the manager they say made the comment. They filed suit last week in Miami-Dade County Circuit Court. Restaurant Collection's owner, Alfonso Fernandez, denied the accusations. (AP)

Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Saturday, 30 April 2005 01:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"Yes, we serve no Bin Ladens... We serve no - Bin Ladens - TODAY!"

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 30 April 2005 02:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

one year passes...
New law lets dogs chow down in restaurants

"They eat well, but they don't eat with me," Jones, 51, said of his border collie and black Labrador. "I've already made the decision that I won't go to any place that will allow them. I just don't think people should eat with dogs; that's disgusting."

Bush signed the bill holding Sen. Charlie Clary's dog, Dixie Cup, which provided a seconding paw print.

Courtney Gidts (ex machina), Saturday, 3 June 2006 13:03 (twelve years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...
so jacksonville's pretty bad? How about jacksonville beach?

-- (688), Thursday, 4 January 2007 10:39 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Jacksonville's a waste of space - a city so large with nothing to do. It's sprawl and gentrification.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 4 January 2007 13:55 (twelve years ago) Permalink

are there buildings with faded paint, down at the beach?

-- (688), Thursday, 4 January 2007 14:07 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Fernandina Beach

gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 4 January 2007 14:23 (twelve years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

David Faustino lives in florida now?

kingfish, Monday, 26 November 2007 16:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I've been living in Tallahassee for about a year and a half now.. it's the most fucked state ever. My favorite Florida news item:


petey_carnum, Monday, 26 November 2007 17:05 (eleven years ago) Permalink

where was that other story from 2 weeks ago where a (bank?) robber done got himself chomped during his escape, since he decided to swim across a suspect body of water?

kingfish, Monday, 26 November 2007 17:09 (eleven years ago) Permalink

One of my best friends lived in Tallahassee for a year, covering state politics – "The college students don't leave, they become lobbyists and pols."

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 26 November 2007 17:09 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I didn't realize crack was such a problem among gators.

Tracer Hand, Monday, 26 November 2007 17:09 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think the pervasive sense of danger from knowing that you could be eaten at any moment contributes to the state's overall insanity.

Jacksonville has all the ambiance of Detroit, but none of the soul.

Alfred, I think that's only true of frattys. Everyone else leaves as soon as they can.

There was a pre-colonization Indian tribe from the Tallahassee area that simply vanished overnight. No archaeologists have determined exactly why they left, but I imagine around 1100 A.D. there was a tribal consensus of "Fuck Florida".

petey_carnum, Monday, 26 November 2007 17:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink


The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 26 November 2007 18:05 (eleven years ago) Permalink

six months pass...

ts dade county vs dubai

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 20:48 (ten years ago) Permalink

Charleston, New Orleans and even Mobile I'm going to feel pretty bad about. This, on the other hand, I'm really looking forward to:

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 20:49 (ten years ago) Permalink

just curious tom whats your vendetta against dade county?

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 25 June 2008 21:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

The only good thing about Florida are the thrift stores. Lots of excellent thrift store finds because EVERYONE COMES HERE TO DIE.

petey_carnum, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 21:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

I have a vendetta?

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:07 (ten years ago) Permalink


(pictured: tom, dade county)

tipsy mothra, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

jordan - maybe it has to do with something that happened in fall 2000? little bits of paper? a lot of people hate south florida for that.

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

if they visited they'd know the real thing to hate is the weather

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

and no doubt, that hospital shit is fucked, but it was more a function of the biases of the staff members. it makes obvious the need to include sexual orientation in state discrimination laws. but at most hospitals, that would not have happened.

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:50 (ten years ago) Permalink

oh and I forgot I had to go to the Orange Bowl and watch the vols get creamed by the fucking cornhuskers in like 1998. It was way too fucking hot for walking around in a wool uniform and we stayed in a shithole and the airport sucked, the city sucked, the game sucked, the orange bowl sucks, fuck that experience, except I think new year's that year might have been sort of okay since we were basically all drinking open containers in parking lots

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:55 (ten years ago) Permalink

ha dude, the airport does suck bigtime. it's just a cashcow for connected developers. the neighborhoods between the airport and the orange bowl (it's gone, if that gives you any comfort) suck balls, so that may have colored your experience more negatively. and wool? nobody wears wool here. ever.

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:56 (ten years ago) Permalink

unless it's their job. i'll have to ask my army peeps if they have to wear wool day-to-day when working at southcom. and laugh if they say yes.

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:58 (ten years ago) Permalink

actually i kind of hate it here, too. i don't know why i'm apologizing.

elan, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:58 (ten years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

We rule!

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 26 August 2008 16:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

Weird stuff goes on at malls. I once met a guy who lived in an apartment inside a mall with a kitchen and bathroom and everything.

wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 16:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Naples has some great restaurants in its hotels though -- I spent a weekend with my parents there last June.

Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 7 March 2011 22:37 (eight years ago) Permalink

i was in miami beach/miami over the weekend. it is a very strange place.

adult music person (Jordan), Monday, 7 March 2011 22:53 (eight years ago) Permalink

You should have let me know!

Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 7 March 2011 22:59 (eight years ago) Permalink

yeah, no, i like stuff about naples. it's just got kind of an unpleasant populace, i've found.

tylerw, Monday, 7 March 2011 23:00 (eight years ago) Permalink

Tenured, surly snowbirds.

Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 7 March 2011 23:03 (eight years ago) Permalink

oh, you live in miami? i had no idea.

went to little havana on saturday and ended up at this place that had amazing peruvian food and cumbia karaoke.

adult music person (Jordan), Monday, 7 March 2011 23:04 (eight years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

I am I think justly proud of this thread.

Even most Cubans are moderate on so-called social issues.

Yeah, one of the things I liked over the last week was the Cubans going "Dudes! We care about things other than immigration!""

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 31 January 2012 17:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

We have a few rabid "pro-lifers" but Cubans are coy about bedroom politics for the most part.

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 31 January 2012 17:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

five months pass...

gf was searching for some people she knew from elementary school and their mugshots came up on google


The State of Florida is unapologetic about the market its mug-shot posts have enabled. “We are very public-record–friendly. We are one of the most transparent states out there,” Kristi Gordon, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, said. “As soon as a photo is taken at a booking facility, it becomes a public record.”

what a state

iatee, Sunday, 29 July 2012 04:21 (six years ago) Permalink

ten months pass...

The question seems too ludicrous to even pose, but sadly a 17-year-old boy was recently killed in Florida after an argument that took place over his music being too loud.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/causes/man-kills-17-year-old-boy-for-listening-to-music-too-loudly.html#ixzz2VNmjC9Rn

what are the details of the argument?

posters who have figured how how to priv (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 22:14 (five years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...


Florida man stabbed brother in fight over mac and cheese, beer, Volusia deputies say


polyphonic, Thursday, 27 June 2013 23:02 (five years ago) Permalink

The state with the prettiest name!

A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 27 June 2013 23:06 (five years ago) Permalink

I dated a girl in Volusia and had another friend that lived there...and as a result of this, nothing in that story surprises me in the least.

Neanderthal, Thursday, 27 June 2013 23:09 (five years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

always on the edge

Florida Department of Environmental Protection officials have been ordered not to use the term “climate change” or “global warming” in any official communications, emails, or reports, according to former DEP employees, consultants, volunteers and records obtained by the Florida Center for Investigative Reporting.


touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 11 March 2015 16:01 (four years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

This is beyond horrific (the URL is bad enough - the details are worse).


Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 15:42 (two years ago) Permalink


This was the 11th Circuit, so it's not just Florida (11th also covers Alabama and Georgia - so you know, quality) but this is of a piece


law enforcement in the south is unimpeachable. shoot a man, shoot an innocent man, shoot an innocent man in his own home for the crime of opening the door while armed, or just boil him to death for being mentally ill, you're golden with a badge.

Not the real Tombot (El Tomboto), Thursday, 23 March 2017 04:10 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

An associate medical examiner testified Thursday in the murder trial of a South Florida man accused of killing his girlfriend that he’s never before seen an example of someone choking to death from oral sex. But that’s what defense attorney Ken Padowitz intends to present to the jury in the murder trial of Richard Patterson. Patterson, 65, of Margate, is charged with second-degree murder in the choking death of his girlfriend, Francisca Marquinez, 60, in 2015.

Iouri Boiko, Broward County’s associate medical examiner, testified for the prosecution that a penis would have to be lodged far enough down a person’s throat to prevent someone from breathing. Boiko said it would take two to three minutes for someone to die that way, so a sign of struggle would be obvious. “If she cannot breathe, she usually start to kicking, biting or to do something to prevent this blocking of the airway, try to open this airway,” Boiko testified. “It’s (a) normal reaction of any person.”


Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 May 2017 14:50 (two years ago) Permalink


PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Friday, 19 May 2017 15:13 (two years ago) Permalink

eight months pass...

broke: military parades
woke: staged military assaults on major cities with their mayor shooting a mounted gun off a fucking boat pic.twitter.com/y3m799Ww7y

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) February 8, 2018

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 February 2018 15:54 (one year ago) Permalink

The exercise is put on each year as a part of the Special Forces Industry Conference, a 12,000-strong, three-day meeting of Special Operations personnel and companies showcasing the latest technologies available to both U.S. troops and their international allies.

Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn is captured by pirates and held ashore near the convention center here. Soon after, as thousands of spectators watched from nearby rooftops, party boats and bar patios, Black Hawk helicopters supported by smaller gunships and fast-moving riverine craft descended on the area.


ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 February 2018 15:55 (one year ago) Permalink

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