http://www.photohistory-sussex.co.uk/UckFrisbyPiltdown03.jpg
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:19 (twelve years ago) link
"Searching for the Putdown Man"
― ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:21 (twelve years ago) link
is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands
Interesting question which I wish I could answer.
― Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (twelve years ago) link
I don't know if I would like that England even.
is there a culture that can't be commodified? and i have to be v. v. careful not to paint my cultures, or the cultures i've drifted along the fringes of, as the only real England. the problem is that the word is usually only spoken out loud by a certain kind of cultural capitalist, whose vision of it is just as tangential as mine. bullshit about fair play and honest toil and love of the land that i'd counter with a nation of sneak thiefs, factionalists and urban wastrels. the contestedness is always part of the Reality of the nation, any nation really.
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:39 (twelve years ago) link
for every sleepy Sunday C of E-attending agnostic Tory there's an apocalypse-welcoming hair-splitting anabaptist
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:41 (twelve years ago) link
Everywhere north of Enfield is basically a wasteland isn't it? Brrrr... Nothing there. Just a man collecting lumps of mud and putting them into a cloth bag.
― Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:42 (twelve years ago) link
yeah but the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (twelve years ago) link
everybody shd read The Uses of Literacy to see how you can constructively get this wrong in a way that doesn't just mourn real heritage centres. obv Williams and E.P. Thompson and Stuart Hall too
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (twelve years ago) link
the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities
quite so, how about the British Isles then as a dumping ground/refugee camp/Wild West for Europe and parts south-east, over millenia, fuelling endless negotiation and conflict over territory, and that is the quicksand underneath Real England that we think of as bedrock?
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:46 (twelve years ago) link
look mate there's no need to get fucking personal, alright
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (twelve years ago) link
btw if i was gonna put forward one Real England it wd be old photographs of works sports teams or outings or other ceremonial jollies
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (twelve years ago) link
it would be the commie permawheezing mustachioed drunk one in tinker tailor, tho no doubt they'd have you b'leev it's smiley or haydon
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:52 (twelve years ago) link
wait haydon was the commie?
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:54 (twelve years ago) link
SPOILERS
nah think he was the aesthete on a protest against the yanks more than anything else, wasn't the dude ciaran hinds played proper lefty in stated methods tho
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:56 (twelve years ago) link
the sparking point of Real England is where the plummy port-swilling foxhunter runs up against the chippy millenarian work-dodger and we drink each others' health and promise ourselves deep down that one day our kind will crush theirs
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:57 (twelve years ago) link
the phoenicians sailed up round to albion to trade tin for spice before the romans had even got out of bed, and if they weren't trading with aboriginal pre-celt and pre-pict inhabitants, then it was certainly aboriginal+1: an island of proto-druid shopkeepers since time immaterial
stonehenge is actually a kind of cashpoint machine
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:58 (twelve years ago) link
xp
oh, Roy Bland. yeah Bland is the angry Puritan I've been talking about, defending his country so's his people can crush the effete Squire class one day
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:59 (twelve years ago) link
but mark, who's to say the aborigines hadn't hopped off the boat from Boulogne just ahead of the celts themselves and so on and so forth??
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:00 (twelve years ago) link
irish close to turks dna-wise iirc
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:03 (twelve years ago) link
i think that's exactly what mark is saying, tbf
― blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:04 (twelve years ago) link
Of all the Tribe of Tegumai Who cut that figure, none remain On Merrow Down the cuckoos cry The silence and the sun remain
xp he's called smiley, he has to be of outlander extraction
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:13 (twelve years ago) link
http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2007/07/17/chalkhomer460.jpg
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:17 (twelve years ago) link
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8Xw7LplzFws/TpDJGHBmFGI/AAAAAAAAArE/CCJlpL9TMeU/s1600/yeo+valley.jpg
― you don't exist in the database (woof), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:31 (twelve years ago) link
^ I wasn't at that FAP
― R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (twelve years ago) link
clun forest all-mercian jug band champions, tractor runs on wattle and daub
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (twelve years ago) link
never get away with haircuts like that up in the Danelaw
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
post pictures of men who look like offa's dyke
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:37 (twelve years ago) link
― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:41 (58 minutes ago)
there is definitely a book to be written about those south-midlands dissenter sects, maybe in a sort of gently sardonic louis theroux tone, 'britain's very own wild east and its fire and brimstone pastors '
so a good effort, but not really real
― Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:45 (twelve years ago) link
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4-CuQTcGVYo/TKdQeWpskMI/AAAAAAAAAoM/H64kcUh5Jjw/s1600/AvengersTV.JPG
― mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:53 (twelve years ago) link
real english dialectic demands picture of McGoohan dressed as hunt sab.
― you don't exist in the database (woof), Thursday, 3 November 2011 17:01 (twelve years ago) link
there is only one named wind in england
― Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Friday, 4 November 2011 17:02 (twelve years ago) link
This suggests a few more. I sincerely hope that "custard winds" isn't made up.http://www.weatheronline.co.uk/reports/wxfacts/British-Weather-Terms.htm
― Stevie T, Friday, 4 November 2011 18:12 (twelve years ago) link
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/11/8/1320750745209/Members-of-the-public-wai-004.jpg
Sir Jimmy Savile's coffin goes on display - Members of the public wait to pay their respects
― Lars and the Lulu Girl (NickB), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 13:05 (twelve years ago) link
haha when i posted MES's mugg up-thread i genuinely didn't know his new LP was called "Ersatz GB"
― mark s, Tuesday, 8 November 2011 13:11 (twelve years ago) link
nah i was deliberately misquoting "The Classical" and i haven't heard a new Fall album in most of a decade tbh
― Bond 23: Skyrim (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 13:15 (twelve years ago) link
it has probably always been his topic, of course
― mark s, Tuesday, 8 November 2011 13:21 (twelve years ago) link
the problem is the paucity of our national realnesses, we have nothing so resonant as la france profonde nor even REAL AMERICA
the place is too small and thoroughly gone over to sustain any really vital autochthonist fallacy
― Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Friday, 11 November 2011 02:19 (twelve years ago) link
"Middle England" as a conceptual culture, rather than a geography, has a resonance with politicians. There's an element of it that links back to the idea of a 'real England', away from metropolitan fancies. Much more bound up with class than 'real America', though.
― Mohombi Khush Hua (ShariVari), Friday, 11 November 2011 08:01 (twelve years ago) link
"Middle England" is a coy acknowledgment of the middle class that doesn't yet quite dare to speak its name
― Bond 23: Skyrim (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2011 11:13 (twelve years ago) link
so here i sit in a real England on a sunny Friday morning, but trapped inside the gloom of the institutional looking out at the sun, of course.
is our realness a sense that authenticity lies outside? what kind of culture will we leave for the archaeologists that isn't a bastard-Norman legacy of tea-cups and arcane manners? fate of an island to be the sticking point for a lot of flotsam and jetsam maybe, a 5 mile high mountain of tide-stranded rubber ducks and fashions.
maybe real england is that real desire to never belong, to always get back to sea.
― summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:04 (twelve years ago) link
got a familiar soul-crushing view of our education "system" this morning, that impossible mixture of stolid, meaningless tradition frantically being stirred by idiots with no plan beyond the conviction that stirring in itself is the most important thing in the world, as long as you can do it on the cheap.
the most beautiful building in the panorama in front of me is a corn silo.
― summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:12 (twelve years ago) link
tbf that educational system perfectly prepares people for 95% of careers
― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:32 (twelve years ago) link
that doesn't help :(
― summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:33 (twelve years ago) link
gramnivorous quadruped ftw
― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:40 (twelve years ago) link
maybe real England is something to do with the grey, measured chunks of work as tedium shot thru with escaping to booze each night.
― summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:44 (twelve years ago) link
yeah you'd almost long for a good steepling in catholic guilt tbh
― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:45 (twelve years ago) link
some fear of vengeance plus some contempt for order wd be a huge improvement i must say.
as a newly invested minor underling of the boss class i've got to say i'd like to stab the boss class in the throat
― summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:47 (twelve years ago) link
have to embrace the cunt to get that close, is the problem
― teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:49 (twelve years ago) link
http://old-town.co.uk/piccadilly/
??
― Mayan Calendar Deren (doo dah), Sunday, 29 January 2012 00:30 (twelve years ago) link
My uncle had a rottweiler called Bear when I was a kid. He was a bit of a nutter. The uncle I mean. The dog did jump at me once which was pretty scary given it was probably bigger than I was but somehow I avoided getting a dog phobia
― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:03 (one month ago) link
I got attacked by a huge German Shepherd at a farm in Kerry when I was a kid and despite it being a short one-two snaps attack I was bleeding a lot and had bite scars on my belly and hand for years afterwards, but I've never had a dog phobia over it, but you do need to exercise legitimate caution with some dogs. With this being the 70's nobody suggested I should have a tetnus booster - ah.. it'll be reet with a bit of germolene.
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:14 (one month ago) link
Is Jaywick still the most deprived town in England? It's a weird place anyway.
Its usually in the mix but I think Blackpool's the one
― anvil, Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:23 (one month ago) link
bloody coastal elites getting all the bragging rights!
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:27 (one month ago) link
I too got a German shepherd bite as a small child, but when I was taken to Emergency to get stitches, the doctors found weird swelling near my spleen while looking for possible inflammation and it turned out to be kidney cancer. The dog belonged to our neighbour and was not put down.
― steely flan (suzy), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:39 (one month ago) link
I wonder if the King has a weird swelling anywhere...
― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:40 (one month ago) link
I love German Shepherds and I think in a way that story enhances their rep as innately good creatures. Some dogs just don't like kids or get nervous around them - which is understandable tbf
― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:48 (one month ago) link
Not just dogs tbf.
― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 11:51 (one month ago) link
Hans was a good boy, plus I was definitely a kid that pestered dogs and had been bitten before. He did not have to go live on a farm for my sake.
― steely flan (suzy), Tuesday, 6 February 2024 12:38 (one month ago) link
This morning I was waiting for a connecting bus in the centre of Cambridge, it was about 10 minutes late, and the queue was now snaking past the other bus stops. A group of five men started a new queue next to ours, so I was stressing a bit about that when the bus finally arrived. Somewhere behind me I heard a Spanish woman telling off two teenage boys for dropping litter, their response was "It's too early for this shit" then "why don't you go back where you come from?" - wish I had intervened but was distracted by the fact that the woman in front of me had just let the five men go in front of her without a word. As I got on the bus the teenagers were discussing whether "Why don't you go back where you come from?" was racist (their conclusion was "no" and "it's too early for this shit") then the packed bus was held up for a further five minutes behind a bin lorry, and as I stood there stressing about missing my train I thought "yes, this is the real England experience, just need some miserable pissy rain to seal the deal" so thanks ILX.
― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 7 February 2024 09:24 (one month ago) link
It's been a landmark in Weston-super-Mare since 1935 🌸But the group looking after the floral clock say they needed to make it easier to look after.This is their plan ➡️ https://t.co/2OQO2AA8wb pic.twitter.com/5JmD5333g5— BBC West (@BBCBristol) February 8, 2024
― koogs, Friday, 9 February 2024 12:39 (one month ago) link
hahaha oh my godalso just reading your post now CaAL :( ❤️
― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Friday, 9 February 2024 12:43 (one month ago) link
actually, i'm not sure how true that is. acticle says 'plan' but the picture is in past tense and then you look and the clock is different. and then you look harder and the *houses* are different. so it's obv not the same place.
― koogs, Friday, 9 February 2024 13:25 (one month ago) link
oh, the old pic is 1935 and it IS the same place
― koogs, Friday, 9 February 2024 13:27 (one month ago) link
KEN likes it anyway
there are few bus stops that really sum up that feeling of faded dystopic england than north greenwich’s “Millennium Leisure Park East” unless you’re talking about the next stop along, “Millennium Leisure Park West”
― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Monday, 12 February 2024 10:33 (one month ago) link
followed two stops later by excellent pomo contradiction Millennium Village Oval Square. no I didn't need to look that up
― imago, Monday, 12 February 2024 10:44 (one month ago) link
Real England thread: xl bullies are child eating monstersDogs thread: xl bullies wouldn’t hurt a fly!
― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Tuesday, 13 February 2024 18:45 (one month ago) link
They are also smaller dog-eating monsters.
― steely flan (suzy), Tuesday, 13 February 2024 22:04 (one month ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgQTymQSYQY
Interview with Mark Molesley of Gosport Borough
― Tow Law City (cherry blossom), Wednesday, 21 February 2024 17:57 (one month ago) link
https://i.ibb.co/MGHNc6T/Screenshot-2024-02-28-at-12-45-51.png
― Tow Law City (cherry blossom), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 11:47 (one month ago) link
This happened in Glasgow but still: 'Angry families turned up to find me dressed as Willy Wonka'
The only thing that's not Real England about this is that the organisers of the event apologised and refunded everyone's money.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 18:50 (one month ago) link
more here: fyre festival is going well
― mark s, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 18:52 (one month ago) link
Also, Glasgow's not in England
― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 18:52 (one month ago) link
More and more are saying this
― Ethinically Ambigaus (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 20:48 (one month ago) link
'cyberflashing' lol.. dude totally looks like a cyberflasher
Court jails first person convicted of cyberflashing in England
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/mar/19/court-jails-first-person-convicted-of-cyber-flashing-in-england
― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 19 March 2024 17:30 (one week ago) link
Ian Beale – 2024 Wall Calendar
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Tuesday, 26 March 2024 20:51 (three days ago) link