OK, which one of you is @BARTSIMSON_REAL?

wolf puppy ‏ @wolfpupy Close
>Combine Hair + Sand >Eat "I don't think I can eat this" >Eat

UtilityLimb: Affluent man peers into dead friend's tomb, gasps. The items are gone. They have accompanied him to the next world. Miracle. Credits roll.

the first time he's moved from the sublime to the mundane instead of from the mundane to the sublime? feels monumental...

mordy

whiny

american military intervention definitely solves humanitarian problems instead of causing them. this has been proven time and time again, and is a matter of historical record. wait... what the... *twilight zone music fills everyones ears*

― these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Friday, March 9, 2012 7:32 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― beachville, Friday, March 9, 2012 8:10 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

@UtilityZinn

― kony indie fuxx (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, March 9, 2012 9:31 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

http://gunshowcomic.com/comics/20110701-didellodidello.png

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q4kEjO2tXAE/TzY92lTyaBI/AAAAAAAAII0/Bz7-vXWOgjQ/s1600/tumblr_lpic6bvSna1qj6sk2o1_500.jpg

http://twitter.com/#!/johncusack/status/178900441491443712

http://twitter.com/#!/wolfpupy/status/178913594900086784

awesome:

http://twitter.com/#!/wolfpupy/status/177726477075365888

wolfpupy is awesome

should go to bed now b/c that was a great way to end a sunday

@dril: WELL I PRINTED OUT MY RESUME, DUNNO WHAT ILL DO WITH THESE OTHER 4999 BOXES OF PROFESSIONAL "IF YOUR A HATER DONT READ THIS" STATIONERY

@mana_horse has been variously cracking me up and giving me stuff to think about lately.

Which one of you is @JNicholsonReal?

holy christ @CNNNewsUSA

CNN News USA ‏ @CNNNewsUSA Reply Retweeted Favorite · Open
"I DUnno Barack I Think It's Mustard" Says Joe Bidend As He Continues To eat Fistfuls Of Dirty Water

UtilityLimb: being caught by the Sufferluffagus is a much more precise and detailed agony than the dreamlike violence of Big Blurred

http://twitter.com/#!/Favstar/status/185502247457783808

feel like @DRAKE_THOUGHTS is a distillation of my essence

@dril: WELL I PRINTED OUT MY RESUME, DUNNO WHAT ILL DO WITH THESE OTHER 4999 BOXES OF PROFESSIONAL "IF YOUR A HATER DONT READ THIS" STATIONERY

many lols @ this

think markers took over @dinkmagic

having a banner day today, finally made a Dustin Hoffman/69 boyz joke that I've been dreaming of

anyone know why wolfpupy's account is locked

@dogboner with a gem

http://i.imgur.com/NbYLG.png

'nannigans

aw man. RIP @HellDudeREAL

that was one hilarious day. hope some of you got to see. was a creation of @ahuj9, apparently.

mark today as the day twitterppl started paying attention to me bc of this twit: https://t.co/cLj7TGuI

@HellDudeREAL is back!

this is kind of amazing

https://twitter.com/#!/pentametron

agree but algorithm needs tweaking to recognise emoticons

I call bullshit, some of those are dactyls and trochees.

pretty awesome

that's lovely

agree but algorithm needs tweaking to recognise emoticons

― conrad, Sunday, April 15, 2012 5:13 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it does!

wint ‏ @dril Close
the moment you realize that every piece of furniture you own is just a man in a zentai suit stuck in a rigid pose and they all flee at once

@UtilityLimb
open a girl twit pic and click expand. it make her grow from mere notion of what you can't have to real embodiment of what you can't have :]

god u tweet and tweet and u can never be so succinct as utilitylimb

ha yes thats a good one

I would pay cash money, boutique press prices even, for a book by utilitylimb.

feel like that would be a letdown, enjoy the free twitter

book would be difficult because we really need to ruminate over things like

@UtilityLimb
"how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

for an hour or two.

what became of @BARTSIMSON_REAL?

jumped shark; later broke 4th wall and abandoned shtick I believe.

believe it or not Ken Jennings' twitter is almost as good as the guys mentioned ITT

^^^

wkiw with ken jennings and his weird mormon humor

Ken Jennings ‏ @KenJennings

I spend soccer season trying to get little boys out of my van. I'm like the opposite of a pedophile.

Ken Jennings ‏ @KenJennings

Well I just dissolved a tube of Necco wafers in my Coke and made Dr Pepper, in case the MacArthur Foundation is reading this.

Ken Jennings ‏ @KenJennings

I bet when the Heartbreakers are on the road, their manager is like "And stay out of the 'Petty' cash!" and they all laugh & laugh

yeah real cool twitter guys

Where is utilitylimb?

working on tweet 666

Well I just dissolved a tube of Necco wafers in my Coke and made Dr Pepper, in case the MacArthur Foundation is reading this.

real lols @ this