feel like @DRAKE_THOUGHTS is a distillation of my essence
― arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Friday, 30 March 2012 02:42 (twelve years ago) link
@dril: WELL I PRINTED OUT MY RESUME, DUNNO WHAT ILL DO WITH THESE OTHER 4999 BOXES OF PROFESSIONAL "IF YOUR A HATER DONT READ THIS" STATIONERY
many lols @ this
― ralphs vons williams (get bent), Friday, 30 March 2012 15:23 (twelve years ago) link
think markers took over @dinkmagic
― dayo, Sunday, 1 April 2012 12:43 (twelve years ago) link
having a banner day today, finally made a Dustin Hoffman/69 boyz joke that I've been dreaming of
― arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Tuesday, 3 April 2012 04:11 (twelve years ago) link
anyone know why wolfpupy's account is locked
― markers, Monday, 9 April 2012 01:31 (twelve years ago) link
@dogboner with a gem
http://i.imgur.com/NbYLG.png
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 9 April 2012 19:50 (twelve years ago) link
'nannigans
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 9 April 2012 22:42 (twelve years ago) link
aw man. RIP @HellDudeREAL
that was one hilarious day. hope some of you got to see. was a creation of @ahuj9, apparently.
― andrew m., Friday, 13 April 2012 16:49 (twelve years ago) link
mark today as the day twitterppl started paying attention to me bc of this twit: https://t.co/cLj7TGuI
― arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Saturday, 14 April 2012 02:14 (twelve years ago) link
@HellDudeREAL is back!
― andrew m., Saturday, 14 April 2012 04:01 (twelve years ago) link
this is kind of amazing
https://twitter.com/#!/pentametron
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Sunday, 15 April 2012 07:39 (twelve years ago) link
agree but algorithm needs tweaking to recognise emoticons
― conrad, Sunday, 15 April 2012 09:13 (twelve years ago) link
I call bullshit, some of those are dactyls and trochees.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Sunday, 15 April 2012 12:20 (twelve years ago) link
pretty awesome
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 15 April 2012 14:27 (twelve years ago) link
that's lovely
― ogmor, Sunday, 15 April 2012 15:35 (twelve years ago) link
― conrad, Sunday, April 15, 2012 5:13 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
it does!
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Sunday, 15 April 2012 16:28 (twelve years ago) link
wint @dril Closethe moment you realize that every piece of furniture you own is just a man in a zentai suit stuck in a rigid pose and they all flee at once
― dayo, Saturday, 28 April 2012 22:58 (eleven years ago) link
@UtilityLimbopen a girl twit pic and click expand. it make her grow from mere notion of what you can't have to real embodiment of what you can't have :]
― Mordy, Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:32 (eleven years ago) link
god u tweet and tweet and u can never be so succinct as utilitylimb
― arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:34 (eleven years ago) link
ha yes thats a good one
― lag∞n, Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:36 (eleven years ago) link
I would pay cash money, boutique press prices even, for a book by utilitylimb.
― s.clover, Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:45 (eleven years ago) link
feel like that would be a letdown, enjoy the free twitter
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 3 May 2012 10:46 (eleven years ago) link
book would be difficult because we really need to ruminate over things like
@UtilityLimb"how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea
for an hour or two.
what became of @BARTSIMSON_REAL?
― danny houellebecq (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 3 May 2012 11:02 (eleven years ago) link
jumped shark; later broke 4th wall and abandoned shtick I believe.
― raw feel vegan (silby), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:02 (eleven years ago) link
believe it or not Ken Jennings' twitter is almost as good as the guys mentioned ITT
― That's a pretty funky dance, Garfield. Show me how you do it. (frogbs), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:05 (eleven years ago) link
^^^
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
wkiw with ken jennings and his weird mormon humor
― dayo, Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
Ken Jennings @KenJennings
I spend soccer season trying to get little boys out of my van. I'm like the opposite of a pedophile.
Well I just dissolved a tube of Necco wafers in my Coke and made Dr Pepper, in case the MacArthur Foundation is reading this.
I bet when the Heartbreakers are on the road, their manager is like "And stay out of the 'Petty' cash!" and they all laugh & laugh
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:12 (eleven years ago) link
yeah real cool twitter guys
― lag∞n, Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:39 (eleven years ago) link
Where is utilitylimb?
― elan, Sunday, 13 May 2012 16:18 (eleven years ago) link
working on tweet 666
― diamonddave85, Sunday, 13 May 2012 17:52 (eleven years ago) link
real lols @ this
― get wolves (get bent), Sunday, 13 May 2012 18:05 (eleven years ago) link
wolf puppy @wolfpupy throw a bag of flour in to the ocean who cares
wolfpupy otm
― dayo, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 00:29 (eleven years ago) link
hahaha
i'm sad that @foodnetwerk was suspended. i figure alton brown is behind this.
― Pita Malört (Je55e), Wednesday, 16 May 2012 03:04 (eleven years ago) link
oh man i missed the fun. found some of their tweets here: http://favstar.fm/users/FoodNetwerkalso found this with some context: http://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/alton-brown-is-a-party-pooper
i apparently don't follow the travails of comedy twitter accounts very closely.
― s.clover, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 03:46 (eleven years ago) link
As I suspected. His insistence that he couldn't bear the trademark infringement is pretty weak. And if they ditched that, then what got them shut down? Not that @foodnetwerk were my favorite ever, but some of their individual tweets WERE my favorites ever.
― Pita Malört (Je55e), Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:08 (eleven years ago) link
CNNNewsUSA is still going
― yorba linda carlisle (donna rouge), Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:11 (eleven years ago) link
foodnetwerk migrated to another account iirc
― he bit me (it felt like a diss) (m bison), Wednesday, 16 May 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link
Oh? Which one?
― Pita Malört (Je55e), Thursday, 17 May 2012 00:36 (eleven years ago) link
FoodNetwark iirc
― yorba linda carlisle (donna rouge), Thursday, 17 May 2012 01:06 (eleven years ago) link
thanks for the pointer.
― s.clover, Thursday, 17 May 2012 02:30 (eleven years ago) link
CNNNewsUSA is my favorite thing
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 17 May 2012 06:45 (eleven years ago) link
wolfpupy and utility_limb never tweet anymore. my twitter feed is a lot less funny these days :(
― kid steel (cajunsunday), Friday, 13 July 2012 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
@andersoncoopers is really really beautiful, i would buy books of it as poetry. funny also.
― , Blogger (schlump), Friday, 13 July 2012 22:19 (eleven years ago) link
@Bill_Nye_tho
― camp lo magellan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:12 (eleven years ago) link
wolfpupy locked his account. if he doesn't follow you, you don't see his stuff any more. also he tweets less & seems bummed out.
― tallarico dreams (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:25 (eleven years ago) link
wolf teen
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:26 (eleven years ago) link
https://twitter.com/crushingbort/statuses/207665399792271360
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:43 (eleven years ago) link
deg @deggmost people dont even know why 69 is funny they just laugh so they dont feel weird. its basically a sex number though, thats why i laugh
― max, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:47 (eleven years ago) link
@utilitylimb seems to have slowed their roll too
@dril is just consistently amazing:
wint @drilIM AN incest-libertarikin transvaginal ultrasound who owns GUn's and i will post a picture of my dick everyday until voting is made illegal
― moesha my reflection (donna rouge), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 14:41 (eleven years ago) link