I Regret Eating My Placenta

!!!!!

hooray!

It has brought fortune to us all.

waht is a courtnoodle

placenta: the gift that keeps on giving

courtnoodle is a lovely chicagoan and mostly-lurker on ilx

hahaha that is awesome

uh just to clarify I am talking about the pub quiz team name, not the lotus birth pics I just looked at which honestly gave me flashbacks to "Alien"

Something you can do with the placenta is take the placental and umbilical cord blood and tissue from a newborn baby and place it in cryo storage so if the baby gets a blood or immune disease sometime in the future they can use the stem cells to beat it. Another thing you can do with the placenta is eat it. Potato, Pahtaho.

another thing you can do with the placenta is wear it like a jaunty hat

loollllll

I Regret Wearing My Placenta Like a Jaunty Hat

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTa8YUM1SpQI3uAixmDMbMFbN03gLsesC6CbGxxCFptyimAk23EBctN3V1w3A

moi, je ne regrette rien (excepté manger mon placenta)

fuck washing a placenta hat

LOL

http://jezebel.com/5898245/so-you-want-to-eat-your-placenta

the entire "Raw: Nice and Bloody" section is amazing

You can also eat raw placenta, usually in smoothie form

you're not supposed to eat raw placenta if meconium (poop!) was in the amniotic fluid

Yeah, only eat it if it's completely filtered any extant poop.

I Regret Pooping On My Placenta

don't we all

Nah, I've never given pooping on dayo's placenta a second thought

If it's magenta, you've been eating placenta.
If it's black, send it back.

geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225) Posted: June 8, 2005 7:48:53 AM

omg lol

where did that come from

"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - The Lost Stanzas

If fluid has poopy you'll get pukey
If fluid has none get ready for yum

http://i2.listal.com/image/1379602/500full.jpg

"I think I'll have the $5 placenta."

"You want that bloody as hell or burnt to a crisp?"

I am at an Easter vigil and starving, really wouldn't say no to a piece of placenta right now

I knew we talked about lotus birth somewhere on here.

http://www.xojane.com/healthy/how-to-lotus-birth

As someone whose child would die and who might also die right along with the child if I decided to let nature take its course w/r/t this pregnancy, I have a whole new perspective on this, which is basically, go ahead and give birth alone in a pile of leaves if you want but don't preach about how it's the only way to raise a healthy and happy child.

preach it

ah, the single-sentence paragraph "let me explain", so beloved of shitty writers and holders of opinions

ulysses

we woke up one morning to find our baby Ulysses had gripped hold of the cord and detached it by himself, leaving a neat and healthy-looking belly button.

lol xp

sometimes I wonder if all these "natural birth" evangelists have any concept whatsoever of the history of infant and maternal mortality rates during childbirth

she looks like janice litman goralnik

I was researching what ails my pregnancy on the internet the other day and came across a midwife message board in which one midwife was questioning whether she should recommend that all of her patients undergo ultrasounds (which is how this complication is diagnosed) because she had a client who had been diagnosed with said complication, and if she hadn't had the ultrasound but had proceeded to labor, consequences would have been dire indeed. Anyway, there was a lot of back and forth and finally one poster went on at length about how the important thing is for women to trust themselves and to trust nature and not to rely on the medical establishment or technology, and that she would never recommend ultrasounds, or even talk to her clients about them, because this undermines our own innate wisdom and any deaths that resulted were a small price to pay for reconnected with our intuition. The original poster decided not to let fear guide her decisions and to continue to tell her clients about ultrasounds but not to recommend that they get them.

I don't know what happened after that because I got so angry I blacked out.

comments are lol

That child has the look of someone who successfully conned two grown humans into bending to his will BEFORE HE EVEN LEFT THE WOMB.

He's either the next Einstein or the next Mussolini. LOOK INTO HIS EYES.

ultrasounds are totally harmless! they're not like amniocentesis for god's sake

Like, these bozos would rather my child (and also possibly me) die than take advantage of modern technology because ~~intuition~~.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffffffffffffff

sometimes I wonder if all these "natural birth" evangelists have any concept whatsoever of the history of infant and maternal mortality rates during childbirth

― Ayn Rand Akbar (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, October 24, 2013 4:52 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

did they teach that in the undergraduate arts curriculum they dropped out of?

In the 1850s, the infant mortality rate in the United States was estimated at 216.8 per 1,000 babies born for whites and 340.0 per 1,000 for African Americans, but rates have significantly declined in the West in modern times. This declining rate has been mainly due to modern improvements in basic health care, technology, and medical advances. In the last three decades, infant mortality overall has also decreased considerably. In the last century, the infant mortality rate has decreased by 93%. Overall, the rates have decreased drastically from 20 deaths in 1970 to 6.9 deaths in 2003 (per every 1000 live births).

sorry, I was scanning through the beginning of this thread and noticed this:

If i get pregnant I'm going to throw my placenta on the ice after a Blackhawks game.

― Jeff, Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:18 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha, I forgot saying that. Carl, we need to save the placenta for 2 days to make it to the first home game after the birth.

LOL

Since the stupid placenta is part of the problem, we can throw it onto Lake Shore Drive and watch the cars grind it into the asphalt for all I care.

I guess the "jaunty hat" is out, then

The author of that article has a blog: http://mamanaturally.wordpress.com/

Oh this is fun.

To save money while eating "healthy":

Tip 4: Forage wild food for free; go to your local woods, park or even your neighbour’s front gardens where you will be surprised at how much is growing, even in the city.

aka steal food from your neighbors. Cheap! Also apparently serve turds on a plate: http://mamanaturally.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/img_0649.jpg