Chicago MMXII

Also, can I just say how insane court fees are? I ended up having to pay thirty bucks for my actual fine, the court costs were 5.5 times the fine in total. My favorite was "miscellaneous fees... $75", which was, of course, smack dab in the middle of a bunch of other detailed fees.

What the shit.

Pretty much my reaction. You could see it on the faces of everyone who walked from traffic court into the adjacent clerk's office to pay. The judge would be like, "that's $30 plus court fees", so you'd be thinking, "hmm, that's not too bad, I can't imagine court fees to be that bad". Then you'd get to the clerk's desk and they'd be all, "okay, your total is $195" and you'd be, "what the WHAT".

Did you ask what the "misc. fees" was all about?

No because there were signs all over the room and the clerk loudly reminding us every 35 seconds, "Do NOT ask about court fees. Court fees are set by law and cannot be altered. Arguments over court fees can lead to being charged with contempt." It was just, here it is, deal with it.gif

WTF at that sign???

That's kind of the hidden fun of tickets where you don't have to appear in court, necessarily. Oh hey yeah the court will dismiss your ticket and you don't have to pay it, just pay a small court fee.

I think "court fees" are considerably less here (I'm thinking thirty-something dollars per offense or something) but it's still a trick.

Some of those fees are revenue generators, like "We'll pay for red light cameras by adding an additional $5 in misc. fees onto traffic tickets."

The base appearance fee in a civil case is $248.00, but on top of that, there are these misc. fees:

Automation $15.00
Document storage $15.00
Court Services $25.00
Children Waiting Rm $18.00
Law Library $18.00
Dispute Resolution $1.00

Which at least are itemized on the receipt.

That sign is awesome.

do this don't do that can't you read the siiiign

I actually really hate that song

FBI Stop Raping My Wife guy is now out there wearing a shirt proclaiming himself the "only arrestee 5/21/12." He also has a sign that says "whistle blower" and a whistle that he toots every three seconds or so. He's still on hunger strike.

(Overheard from a traffic cop: "You know he eats as soon as he leaves here.")

he's had the whistle for a couple of weeks at least.

i kind of love the song "signs" because it's just so over-the-top. it's also really fun to sing, i would do it at karaoke.

WELL HEY NOW MISTER CAN'T YOU READ
YOU GOT TO HAVE A SHIRT AND TIIIIEE TO GET A SEAT
YOU CAN'T WALK NO YOU CAN'T SPEAK
YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BEEEEEEE HEEEEEEERE

or something like that

I haven't seen him in a while, but last time I did, he looked well-fed.

Automation $15.00
Document storage $15.00
Court Services $25.00

I know these three appeared on my list.

You know what I hate? When LOLyers use the phrase "another bite at the apple." As in, "There is no argument here; Plaintiff just wants another bite at the apple." There is more than one bite in an apple. Why is it always bite AT the apple? Plus it always makes me think of jerk lawyers in their dumb suits and giant Goggins teeth taking cartoonishly prissy bites at an apple and that's a gross mental image.

i've never heard that expression before. it seems dumb.

Fucking D0r0thy Br0wn. She's gotten lazy and she will never be defeated in an election. The IL Supreme Court wants circuit courts to get with the times and institute electronic filing, which she sort of *barely* did. It's only available for 1 type of case in 1 division (commercial calendar cases in the Law Division).

E-filing in all other departments has been http://animatedgif.net/underconstruction/comsoon2_e0.gif for years.

xp to jvc

I think only lawyers and real estate developers use that term.

(xpost)

I feel like defending the phrase but I don't have an argument for why. It is in line with "another shot at" or "another go at."

in case you guys missed this important local news story:
Rolling RIP/Obituary Thread 2012

IMO the term is meant to evoke an image of making an attempt to catch a moving target, like bobbing for apples in a tub of water or trying to bite an apple being dangled from a string. A bite AT is better than a bite OF because it puts across the idea that success is not guaranteed, and even if you manage to get your teeth on it, you might not get much of a payoff.

Yeh, that's a good assessment.

Yeah well I don't trust that the most recent attorney to offend me with this saying is smart enough to think about it that way.

tbrr I just don't like attorneys.

Well it's probably not something anyone thinks out when writing it, anymore than other figures of speech.

i just got a filling and now i am at work feeling v sedated

The worst lawyer vocal tic is saying "strike that" when they mean "ignore what I just said" or "nevermind that was wrong."

Opposing counsel in our of our cases has a typo in his letterhead. The name university where he teaches/practices is misspelled.

Sorry about the filling, A. I hope you have something nice planned for yourself later. xoxo

LL, did you get nitrous?

I've never heard "another bite at the apple," either.

But John....

Why would YOU have heard that phrase?

i haven't been to a dentist that even offers nitrous since the 90s :(

Oh. I was just wondering what had you sedated.

xxxanaxxx

I'm probably down on lawyers today especially because a lawyer who uses a power chair ran into me this morning as I was coming out if the bathroom (my ears are still effed up and I couldn't hear him coming). Then he huffed and rolled his eyes at me! I think the impetus is on the person going 15 mph inside to be on the lookout, personally. (I told him to slow down and watch where he is going, but he was already rolling away when I said it and I have no idea how loud I'm talking so he probably didn't hear me.)

"I'm going to sue your ass off...I know a good lawyer!" probably wouldn't have gone over too well.

Oh, when you told me about that earlier I thought HE said that to YOU. More interesting that way, really.

No, I got angry and impotently croaked at him while he was all "Eat my dust!" vrooooom

Nick, have you watched this video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUG9qYTJMsI

I got my first shipment today - 1 handle and 4 cartridges of 4-bladers for $6/month including shipping - and they seem good so far. The handle has a nice heft to it and the blades are as good as Gillette Mach 3 or whatever.

(I KNOW, I KNOW: Safety razors are magical and cheap, but:
1. They do not suit my style of shaving: wicked fast, no mirror, any and every direction.
2. Even when on my numerous Saturday afternoon slow, careful, mindful shaves, they still gave me razor burn and nicks even though
3. I bought a well-regarded, not-inexpensive one

Believe me, I know safety razors can be great for some people, and if they had worked out for me, I would proselytize all over the place about it.)

1. They do not suit my style of shaving: wicked fast, no mirror, any and every direction.

I thought I was the only one!

Ok. This is the first time I have heard of "safety razors." I have previously known them as "razors" and used "straight razors" as a retronym. I know, I know, how would I know, etc.

Also assuming I'm understanding this correctly, safety razors are not cheap.

Straight razor: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/195/str8razor.jpg/

Safety razor: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/27/safetyrazor.jpg/

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/580/hellrazor.jpg/

asd;lfkjadsfk;lj GRRR

Pictures otm