How did you know that you were ready?

yeah charlotte always blows my mind

"who let this happen? don't they know we are incompetences?"
yes, this!

erica, you also might need to account for a couple of years of 'trying'. you might hit it first time but you might not, you know? also, after the first, you might want more!

euler, OTM

also, after the first, you might want more!

is this a teaser for beeps II?

i wish

erica, you also might need to account for a couple of years of 'trying'. you might hit it first time but you might not, you know? also, after the first, you might want more!

I know!! This is my big concern. If someone told me that it would happen right away in a year and a half or so and that I'd have my first at 33 then I'd have 0 issues waiting. It's the chance that it could take a while that makes me wonder if it's not something we should go for as soon as it's financially possible.

of course euler is the guy who recorded his child's screams and put them to dance music and then posted it on the internet so caveat procreator

exactly, and this morning was a brutal reminder of how that went, as my littlest one screamed for 20 minutes and then vomited all over me. I maintained a detached cool throughout but fuck, what we put ourselves through.

I saw that movie it was called the exorcist

tell me about it

What did you guys do to get ready once you decided to bring a baby on board, aside from saving up mula?

Took off my socks...

saving up money is ideal but some people use that as an indefinite stalling tactic. most important is to decide if you're ready and then the practical matters sort themselves out more or less as you learn to prioritize (assuming you're not starting from the depths of poverty)

What did you guys do to get ready once you decided to bring a baby on board, aside from saving up mula?

― KitCat, Friday, January 16, 2009 3:40 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

omg are you guys having a baby

Not yet!

wouldn't it be sad if i found out we were having a baby on ILX?

btw we are having a baby!

lol

one thing is to really examine your healthcare coverage/job benefits so you know exactly what you're in for re: bills & time off

!

my s.o. finally wore me down - isn't this every guy's answer?

Vicky - that's my other fear that when we finally try it'll take a really long time and as I'm already 31 time won't exactly be on our sides. Man, this stuff is complicated.

Oh man. At first in a relationship you're looking to AVOID pregnancy at all costs, then if you've decided to GO for it then it can't happen quick enough. We tried for a year. The month we would go for hormone shots - they had told us chances were slim - I was pregnant with Ophelia. Second time I was pregnant the same month I quit the pill.

When are you ready? Never really. It's good you can't imagine what a frigging change a child brings cause I think lots of parents would baulk at having kids then. :-) But then you'd also miss out on the great stuff. Life is never ever the same.

I always loved kids but having kids of your own is completely different.

What did you guys do to get ready once you decided to bring a baby on board, aside from saving up mula?

I suspect mula is lots of sex cause that's what we did. hahahahahahahahaha. Apart from that going to the OBGYN, rubbing my tummy and buying lots of babystuff.

mula is money, but yeah it could be what you said....

we had long ago decided to have at least one kid "when we're ready", then last year I realized that if we waited for that...

^^exactly

i was so anti-kids before we had beeps. like i used to see pregnant women on the street and snicker "sucker!". my biggest motivating factor to get pregnant was that time was running out and i might regret it later if i didn't. pretty shitty reason to have a kid but now i cant even remember what life was like without her.

This is basically us.

I feel like I could come up with a lot of signs of being "not ready" but there is no sign of "ready" other than I guess absence of major red flags? Not ready would be stuff like unemployed with tendency to get fired, drug addiction, complete unwillingness to change lifestyle in any way, tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt with no realistic plan to pay it off, etc.

Financial readiness for kids (beyond having a job and not being on the verge of bankruptcy) is highly subjective and probably heavily influenced by class expectations.

Mental/emotional/spiritual "readiness" is likely to be developed after you have the kid and as you reshape your life and expectations according to necessity.

my uncle told me "it's never a 'good time' to have a kid" and I think he's right