Modern Rock #1 Hits of 1995

it would be a better song if he'd...made animal noises

if the internet weren't what it is & things weren't what they are, not that I'm complaining, I would track this version of "Every Rose" in Garageband right now & yall would get good lols btw

xp no no, that's my exact verdict, it's exactly where my complaining comes in - people defending Warrant say "what's not to like, Van Halen was dumb & so's this!" and it's like saying "what? you like to eat Doritos, here's a milkshake with actual human shit in it, same diff!"

― cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, May 25, 2012 12:40 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is a strawman, dude, nobody said this. people made an argument for Poison being acceptable when taken on its own terms, and i pointed out that those terms in no way lead anyone to putting them on equal footing w/ actual great bands, which you took to mean the opposite.

haha clemenza Bernie Taupin has no business accusing anyone of writing terrible lyrics.

pplains is bored

You got me wrong, mang. I haven't listened to Poison all day.

what about last night?

I wonder if Bernie Taupin looked at the Ramones in 1976 and felt like that; I'm going to guess that he was appalled

I bet Shadow Morton, who I rank over Taupin, looked and nodded approvingly

I think we should rank the relative success of all pop songs by how many awkward teenage handjobs they inspired. In that case, "Every Rose" towers over every other song brought up in this discussion. By any other definition however, its a profoundly shitty song.

one of the funniest things about Rock of Love, and there were many, was how "Every Rose" was constantly referenced and as an emotional device, because it was the closest thing Bret could lay claim to as an actual great, enduring song, and the more skanks would quote its lyrics to him or he'd get all misty remembering writing it or whatever the more hilarious its pseudo-profundity would get. and of course, it actually made me like the song more.

referenced and USED as an emotional device

I think we should rank the relative success of all pop songs by how many awkward teenage handjobs they inspired

then pop music was for me a horrible waste of youth

if any of the awkward teen handjobs I received had been inspired by any Poison song but ESPECIALLY "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", I would consider my life to be a failure and I also would have castrated myself sometime in my twenties

the brain-damaged Springsteen antics of their post-Extreme acoustic move "Something To Believe In" may be even more entertaining, though

self handjobs count, of course

okee doke dude it looks to me like you switched horses hard at one point but maybe I missed your point about how

lousy lyric writing can be as much an essential part of the character of an enjoyable piece of music as lousy musicianship

by the way what was more depressing Rock of Love or Flavor of Love

the brain-damaged Springsteen antics of their post-Extreme acoustic move "Something To Believe In" may be even more entertaining, though

oh my God I hate that one too

"addled" best describes "Something to Believe In."

I have something for you to believe in, Bret, it's called "my fists, swinging"

Flavor of Love was definitely more depressing, white trash minstrel shows don't have nearly as much racial tension

^^^ otm

i was always on the same horse but i also wasn't actually involved in the initial defense of "Every Rose" and was jumping on the tangential back end of that convo, so my POV may have been understandably conflated w/ someone else's

i mean tbh i have no idea how your argument here squares with your old rant at me about how eminem's hooks are above criticism because people bought those records by the boatload, but i'm assuming there's an apple and orange somewhere

btw thank you Spotify for playing Bel Biv Devoe directly after "Every Rose" as a palate cleanswer

lol Poison's disastrous blues-influenced 1993 album Native Tongue has a track titled "Richie's Acoustic Thang"

dude, can you smell the corpse?

i mean tbh i have no idea how your argument here squares with your old rant at me about how eminem's hooks are above criticism because people bought those records by the boatload, but i'm assuming there's an apple and orange somewhere

a hook, like the thing that inspires its name, catches people. a good hook catches lots of people. a bad one catches none. the only qualification for a good hook in my mind: is it catchy, memorable, does it draw people in. maybe I hate it ("I Gotta Feeling," say) but it's kind of past being called "a bad hook" I wonder if our disagreement on that didn't have to do with whether the lyrics in the hook were good or bad, but that's a different matter imo. The hook is largely hearing-and-head-nodding function, not a lyrical function. If we're talking about it as a lyrical aspect then I'd be talking about the chorus.

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is a pretty catchy hook!

lol I was just about to make that point

good hooks can be very nicely undercut/ruined by, surprise, shitty lyrics

or also if they're by Poison, that will let all the air right out of a good hook

'rose : thorn :: night : dawn' really is some nonsense

incidentally a lot of lyric sites credit the song to GNR

'rose : thorn :: night : dawn' really is some nonsense

haha well I'd say "don't get me started," but...

love this scene so much:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-eXUtoDH4g

as teenaged guys are wont to do, a bunch of us were hanging out talking about female musicians we thought were hot and one guy said "the drummer from Poison, man she's GORGEOUS"

― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Friday, May 25, 2012 3:09 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Bought Look What The Cat Dragged In with my mom at Kmart when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. At dinner that night, my dad was asking about our shopping trip and mom said "and Doug bought an album by a nice-looking group of girls named Poison". She got a little downcast when I corrected her.

i remember buying the first Pearl Jam while visiting family in Virginia, and when I showed my Beastie Boys/Fresh Prince-loving older cousin what i bought, he looked at the indistinct long-haired figures on the cover and earnestly asked "are they all girls?"

Between the pink background and the "Pearl", I was sorta uncomfortable about buying it, but I liked the music.

(this was after I had been shamed out of liking glam metal first by my parents, then by my hip-hop/r&b middle school friends)

I was always very confused by gender bending musicians as a kid. It kind of blew my mind when Boy George sang "I'm better than the rest of the men" in "Miss Me Blind". But then I just now remembered my bafflement about the short-haired elementary school classmate named Jennifer and I guess I was just generally baffled by exceptions to the gender norms that were being drilled into my head.

that aero is conflating poison and warrant is kind of all i need to know he's just hatin to hate

seriously, aero you need to check out "32 Pennies" by Warrant. Check it out, and apologize to Jani.

jani's gone, man

5 seconds into this and I seriously just want to die

what do 32 pennies add up to

did he really just roll the r on "Ragu"

did he really just blow your mind? the answer is yes

Spend my time and all my money
On a knob for my brass bed
Climb to the top of the highest mountain
Just to see how far I get

I mean come on

to the pennies its all the same

ooh ooh

here is a sentence I never thought I would type: I now understand why so many of the ppl in my high school who listened to this stuff defaulted to Skid Row fandom

i actually heard "18 and life" in a jimmy johns earlier today, which I guess would have been like hearing "Fire" by Crazy World Of Arthur Brown at a restaurant in 1992

Climb to the top of the highest mountain
Just to see how far I get

Uhhh... the top?