VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

i don't know why but my most advanced displays of absent-mindedness involved bathtubs. I once switched on the tap to start myself a bath. While waiting for the tub to fill up I started doing other things and then decided I needed to do my grocery shopping. which took me about a half hour. I came back to a well-flooded apartment and some very angry neighbors. Another time, same thing, tub filling up and I start watching a movie. After a while I realised that the sound of water flowing that I was hearing did not come from the movie but from my bathroom where luckily the tub had only just a bit overflowed. And for some absent-mindedness that did not involve tubs, there's the day I went outside my flat to throw away the garbage. The door to my flat shut behind me. I then noticed I didn't have my keys. So I start knocking on the door hoping my flatmate hears me. Then after 10mns I remember that he's not home. So I go knock at our neighbor's place to see if I can hang out with him until my flatmate returns. Neighbor wasn't there so I spent 1 hour waiting outside my apartment only to see my flatmate return and open the door without a key. That's when I remembered that unless you used your key, the door isn't locked.

oh god your airport story VG

once when i was coming back from atlanta, i went through customs as normal, including taking my laptop out of my hand luggage for the scanner as is standard. got out the other end, got my stuff together, took the little train thing from customs to the terminals, settled down in the lounge and decided i had time to go on the internet and OMG WHERE IS LAPTOP. i'd just walked off from customs without it!!!! luckily i had enough time to take the train back, endure the mocking laughter of the officials as i reclaimed it etc.

yesterday i popped out to the shops, halfway down road realised i'd forgotten my wallet, duh. nothing new here. got home, decided to change my coat as well cuz it wasn't as cold as i thought it would be, left house again, got to the shop and realised i had STILL FORGOTTEN MY WALLET. goddddddddddd

the whereabouts of my keys are also a permanent mystery to me - even though i actually HAVE a designated place i always put the fucking things all the time in order to prevent scenarios like, eg, having to cancel social engagements because i can't find my keys anywhere (this happens on a regular basis).

My daughter, who's now 22, still remembers the trauma of us heading out to something important when she was about 7 and we were seriously delayed by my inability to locate my keys.

To this day, whenever I'm looking for something, she suggests 'the vegetable rack'

oh man just remembered one from when i was a kid (around 8-9). I had football practice with my brother. once it was over, i walk back to school talking with a friend (that's a 15minute walk). when i arrive at school you're supposed to register upon arrival so i give me and my brother's name. the guy looks at me strangely and i don't understand why. then he asks me where my brother, whom i'm registering, is. he was by the football field patiently waiting for me to take him to school.

I left my passport by the sink in the airport toilets once. Got back to the gate where the plane was about to leave and realised and ran back to the toilets in a panic not even knowing if I'd had it when I went there. Luckily it was still there and the plane hadn't gone yet. If someone had nicked it, or even helpfully handed it in at some kind of central desk far away from my gate...

(I have hated airports since the time I missed my plane because the queue for the security scan was going really slowly, and there are no clocks or flight announcements in the security area so I didn't know my flight was being called, and anyway there were no staff around to ask to be let through faster. You don't get a refund for that, the staff just look at you like you're a moron and then you have to go and pay for a new flight. I still feel it was not quite my fault, but uh, I could have been checking the time more instead of just standing where I was told and assuming that since I hadn't heard my name on the completely silent tannoy it was all fine)

xps I can't have a leather wallet like a grownup, I need one of those canvas skater type ones cos leather wallets don't have anything to attach one's keys onto and whenever they get seperated I lock myself out of places at basically the first opportunity

I have actually done the thing that you're really not supposed to be able to do any more - due to poor ticket checking on the part of the steward, got on the wrong plane and only realised when there was fortunately someone already in 'my' seat.

I've just this evening missed a flight to my parents place because I completely blanked on the concept that I was travelling to the airport in peak hour traffic, and didnt factor that in to my timing :( Fuckin.

I feel like a complete dickhead. Luckily they allowed me to move to the first thing tomorrow morming flight for only a small extra fee.

Ive never missed a plane in my life, I'm always meticilously early to airports, so I am really mad at myself.

far out :(

Put an electric kettle on the hob over christmas. Haven't had a hob kettle for about 5 years.

has anyone else ever...forgotten to put their shoes on when leaving the house?

couple of years ago i was actually on the tube, one stop away from my house, when i realised i was still wearing my slippers. never felt so self-conscious as when i had to go back and shuffle home to put my shoes on :(

The only thing that has stopped me from leaving the house without shoes is my husband asking why I was going to work without them.

xxpost aw Trayce that suuucks :(

re slippers to work: I've come as close as getting in the car with my slippers on before realizing

I bike to work and pack my clothes in a bag each night before. Cannot tell you the number of times I've forgotten socks, belt, underwear . . .

I still get a wave of nausea thinking about that.

― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl)

Sisters, truly! I put all my stuff down to go through the xray machines etc at the Toronto airport when I flew to London at 17 for summer break. I collected my stuff, put my headphones back on (I was travelling alone) and walked the 45 ridiculous minutes to the lounge for my flight. Sat down near a cute boy, took my headphones off to ask him some BS question to break the ice (I was a teenage playa) and then heard 'Alexis FFM, please report to security..' at which point I realized I'd left my passport with them. Had to run back and then back to the lounge, made the plane within a few minutes, felt like I was going to die (and that maybe I shouldn't go to London by myself!)

re: keys and habit, i've locked myself out so many times that my keys are now attached to my bag with a lanyard. i'm constantly checking that they're there...but haven't lost my keys/locked myself out since!

my friend left her passport in an airport bathroom once, and it wasn't there when she went back to get it. (which she only realized she didn't have because we were boarding) and as she was running around panicking, this cleaning lady came up and started lecturing her in chinese (we were in beijing) and gave her her passport, thank god.

also i don't know if this is an age thing, but i'm constantly losing my train of thought in the middle of sentences. makes me feel really dumb. ahh!

Wasn't there a study that found door amnesia? doorway amnesia? to be a thing? I think it it basically said that the human memory is kind of like a computer where you have memories on the hard disk but some are stored in a kind of virtual memory and when we walk through a doorway we drop the virtual memories to make room for storing information from the new environment.

Sunny speaks truth. Now it's time for her to share some of her stories.

Anyway I think they made some people look at stuff on a table then walk through a door then another back into the room and remember how stuff was placed or gave them a task to do and they just forgot opposed to the peeps who didn't walk through doors. Anyway, it seemed like a lot of shite but id still like to blame my forgetfullness on lame human make up.

we'd be here for a week xp

btw did you get that cord to your co-worker?

No. Years from now, they'll find that box with all my electrical stuff and think "Boy, he sure liked cords."

Here are a few of mine:

• Left bass guitar and Ampeg amplifier in back of pick-up while grocery shopping.

• Walked down the path to my house from the driveway after being out and seeing my cats looking at me through the screen door.

• Lots of groggy waking-up, rubbing eyes, brushing teeth, taking a shower, drying off and finally looking at the clock that says 2:26 AM.

And I've got a buddy visiting in San Francisco right now who texted me last night saying he was about to go to the airport. He was correct in booking the flight home for 12:30 Friday. He just neglected to tell the airline that he preferred PM, not AM.

i once left a piece of jack kirby original artwork on a train - and recovered it from lost property!

also i don't know if this is an age thing, but i'm constantly losing my train of thought in the middle of sentences. makes me feel really dumb. ahh!

sometimes i think that i'm not actually going to be able to tell if/when i do go senile. how would i know the difference?

xp lol i have booked a train ticket for 5.30am rather than 5.30pm before. i wondered why it was oddly cheap ;_;

• Left bass guitar and Ampeg amplifier in back of pick-up while grocery shopping.

;_;

Having had instruments stolen from locked vehicles twice, this one just makes me cringe.

The look on my face when I came out with the groceries and there was my rig must have been quite priceless.

sometimes i think that i'm not actually going to be able to tell if/when i do go senile. how would i know the difference?

I've actually asked a doctor this.

Part of the treatment for some Alzheimer's patients is to furnish their domicile with things that are familiar to them. So a man's kitchen might have an old oven and old refrigerator with the pull-down handle. Maybe an old analog radio with the needle on the dial.

I think about spending my 2040s in a room with a Playstation 2 and a turntable, and get very peaceful about the whole aging process.

I belong here.

When I was in high school I worked at a small supermarket, and one of my crap jobs on weekends was to peel potatoes in the deli when we weren't busy at the checkouts. One shift I was peeling away, got called to the checkout to help, and returned about 40 minutes later to find two angry produce boys mopping up a giant flood, created by me leaving the tap running. The entire deli was flooded. Thank GOD it was a Sunday and both the bosses were out, I would definitely have been fired.

I left my engagement ring on the sink in our apartment and went to work, twice. Oh god the incredible panic I felt at realizing it wasn't on my finger nor anywhere in sight. I looked everywhere, completely freaked out, held back tears and called my then-fiance, who thankfully was home both times to confirm it was safe in the bathroom.

I lost a lovely expensive watch that my mother gave me. So she bought me another one, exactly the same. Which I then lost. Guilt was huge on that one.

Been waiting a coupla years to tell this story on ILX...OK so I'm at the grocery because I'm craving Heinz pork-and-beans, and I'm frustrated 'cause on the shelf there's 20 red-labeled cans (meaning beans in molasses sauce, which I don't want) and not a single blue label (tomato sauce, my preference.) So I look closer and way at the back is a single blue can - yay! - so I grab it and then read haricots blancs à la sauce tomate (lol Canada) and I think "aw shit, one can left and it's French!"

It takes me a few seconds to register: "Idiot, just turn the can around and you can read the English side of the label."

It takes a FURTHER few seconds to realize, more to the point, that I'm buying the BEANS, not the label.

My stupidest one is probably when I borrowed a friends car to drive to a gig in Glasgow at the Barrowlands, I don't know Glasgow super well but I gather it's not in the most salubrious part of town. Parked the car on a busy road and walked the half mile to the venue, stopping in at a chip shop on the way. Went in and walked through the recently installed metal detectors. Hmm I thought, curious they didn't beep, what with my car keys in my pocket... oooooooohhhh shiiiiiiittttt. Ran back to the car, checking I hadn't left them in the chippy on the way. There they were, still in the driver's door. Was probably slightly lucky in that I'd parked with the door on the road side, not the kerb side.

Later on in the year I crashed his car into a roundabout in the early hours of the morning. Good times!

Hah, got a new iPhone (because I lost the old one, of course) last week, and got a delivery slot of 6-10pm. Came home in a hurry, busied myself writing my magnum opus playing Batman: Arkham City, and then the delivery man knocked on the door and gave me my iPhone... and a pitying look as he indicated my keys still in the door.

My wife and I have gone out to dinner and left the front door to our house wide open at least once.

left the keys in a locked car with the engine runnning on more than one occasion

Also, MVB's story reminds me of Homer Simpsons' "Oh, there's only one can of beer left, and it's Bart's!"

I was commuting to work and had like 3 bags, and my iphone was in my lap. The train stops at times square and I stand up to get out with everyone else. Somehow because of the angle and because I was sitting right next to the doors, I didn't realize that my phone was not in my pocket until I saw it slide neatly into the gap between the train and the platform edge. Everyone around me gave me these expressions of 'oh shit, that sucks.' I was already late for work but I had to stay there and wait for the train to leave (which took a while, since it was the last stop). Luckily after it left, an MTA employee was already down on the tracks and he picked it up and gave it to me. Now I compulsively grab my phone every time I enter or exit the train.

Was thinking some more about this stuff and it has become so much more awful and panic-inducing since having a kid. I know myself well enough to know I need to CONSCIOUSLY THINK about doing the buckles up in the car seat, for instance, otherwise I will just forget. Add the very real phenomenon of baby brain into the mix, and I am a nervous wreck a lot of the time, trying to avoid leaving my child behind in a car park or watching as he swallows the bottle of medicine from the cupboard I forgot to close.

the first year we moved into our house I was TERRIBLE for leaving my keys in the front door. not cool even under normal circumstances, even more so since we were on the edge of sketchy neighborhood and occasionally would find bums plonking themselves down on our front porch for the evening.

like there were times when I'd open the front door in the morning and find the keys still in the front door from the night before.

I don't believe in guardian angels but I feel like the universe is expending an awful lot of energy to protect me from myself.

the most O_O instance of that was when I was living in Melb, walking out of a bookstore on a busy street, after work so there's lots of foot traffic. I fumble to put my change in my purse and I go next door to a cafe. As I'm standing in line for coffee I look in my wallet and realize that i'm missing a $50 note. Fuck. I dropped it. Well, I should go look but no doubt it's gone by now.

I walk out of the cafe, and in the middle of the footpath (which is swarming with people), sitting on the ground in front of the bookstore is my $50 note.

THANK YOU BABY JEBUS OR SATAN OR ODIN

Ah yes there was the time I was going to a saint etienne gig, met up with some people at the pub beforehand, at some point realised I'd left my ticket at home. Fortunately it was only a 15 minute bus ride and there was more than an hour before the gig, ok a minor annoyance especially given it was raining, but y'know, grin and bear it. So I get the bus back home, find the ticket, put it in my pocket, get the bus back to the pub, check in my pocket again as you do - wtf. No ticket. Did it fall out? Did I hallucinate putting in my pocket? So I get the bus back home again, thinking "argh/wtf/you idiot" the whole way. Retrace my steps and there, in the gutter outside my flat flowing with rain water, is my ticket.

Another one, may not be absent mindedness but it still puzzles me to this day. Get the plane tickets from the travel agent, inside the cardboard wallet. Fold the wallet inside the paper itinerary, put the bundle in my jacket pocket. Get home, take the bundle out of my pocket, unfold the itinerary, get the wallet, open it up... no tickets. Nor were they still back at the travel agents.

Have also lost at least two passports, one just before going on holiday. It had been recently renewed and I still had the old one, now expired and with a corner cut off. Discovered you can still travel on them, in the EU anyway, if they're less than 12 months out of date. Only had one problem, boarding the plane back home the flight attendant thought this was not proper, but after a couple of minutes just let it go.

A couple times I have been pouring boiling water for coffee or tea and not even looked at the cup, and poured it a couple inches to the left right onto my hand. Fuck!

I once walked into a wall holding a glass and needed 10 stiches. I still can't feel half of my left pinkie.

I put stuff that doesn't belong in the fridge in it at least a couple times every week.

left the keys in a locked car with the engine runnning on more than one occasion

― that's why ZOG controls the radio (brownie), Friday, June 8, 2012 10:50 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I did this recently except I hadn't even locked it. I parked and then ran some errands only to return and find I wasn't able to find my keys. Only then did I try the door and was like oh hey I left them in here . . . and the car running too! :/

has anyone else ever...forgotten to put their shoes on when leaving the house?

couple of years ago i was actually on the tube, one stop away from my house, when i realised i was still wearing my slippers. never felt so self-conscious as when i had to go back and shuffle home to put my shoes on :(

― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Friday, June 8, 2012 9:09 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I once realized at like 3 in the afternoon that I'd been walking around all day wearing two different (although v similar) black sandals.

A couple times I have been pouring boiling water for coffee or tea and not even looked at the cup, and poured it a couple inches to the left right onto my hand. Fuck!

I seem to have a problem judging short distances, too. And things like that happen to me more than occasionally, and it bothers me.

frantically dig through the dresser drawer for condoms, instead find cinnamon.
leave my car running for entire day in the school parking lot, burn much gas.
dry dishes, put them in the freezer.
oh look the burner's still on
oh look the foreman grill is still plugged in (yes i own and use one of these, shoosh)
say i'll call you back, forget until it's weird that i'm now calling you back

i've never lost lost my keys.

stirring a pot on my mum's electric stove, noticed the seal around the hotplate was corroded... so I touched it.

my fingertip turned white.

fyi i was a grownass adult when this happened.

I went to mess with some shit I was cooking in my stove in a dutch oven, took the metal-everything lid off with by bare fucking hand; how fucking damn dumb am I; god I fucking hate my dumb stupid self.

I mean fuck I turn into a self-loathing ding dong when I burn myself

haha yeah me too, thanks Mr Bean!

Fucked up twice today on automated callouts for supply teaching. Booked off for today, and at 10:00 this morning I absent-mindedly trashed the not-available request; immediately received a call to drive an hour for a half-day with a rough intermediate class. Turned it down, and I hate turning down work. Tonight, couldn't find my phone when the phone rang; it was off the charger and sitting on the recliner under a blanket. So I missed what was almost certainly a job for Wednesday or Thursday (already booked Tuesday/Friday). I'll likely get a call tomorrow night, but not guaranteed--if not, move this over to the expensive-stupidity thread.

My biggest door fail, many years ago, involved me:

-- Walking through a revolving door carrying a cup of hot coffee (yes, I know)
-- Hitting my head on the revolving door
-- Stumbling outside and pouring hot coffee over my crotch
-- Dropping my coffee cup
-- Reaching down to the coffee stain and accidentally punching myself in the balls
-- Pulling my fist away too quickly and poking myself in the eye
-- The end

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, September 19, 2023 5:07 AM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

Missed this. Masterful.

Yes that is Jaques Tati level.

tbh I was disappointed Chuck didn't reel backward into the revolving door at the end

I found a pair of earbuds I really like. I left one pair on a train, so I bought another. A month later I left that pair on an airplane. The third pair's case has been painted with nail polish in the hopes that my eyes will register them before leaving a place. All this has happened within the space of a few months.

i cannot imagine having to hold on personal items with your volume and sequences of travel i would end up a property-less person

yeah same, i would need all my shit safety pinned to my coat like a kid being sent off to kindergarten

I was on a flight from Miami to Atlanta last week. It was chilly, so I put on my fleece. In doing so, I took off my glasses and put them on the empty seat beside me, then forgot to put them back on. When the plane landed, I realized in a panic that they were not on my head, and were nowhere to be found. After the plane emptied out, a flight attendant helped me. She said, "Well, when we land, everything moves forward," and found them on the floor like four rows ahead of where I was sitting.

mother's day is early this year (uk). i should go to the supermarket and pick up a card there rather than making a special trip to the card shop...

and i won't pick the usual abstract card or a floral one, i'll pick one with text on it for a change. and i like that font and the way that orange clashes with that dark blue... sorted.

get home and realise it reads 'happy birthday!'

(and i will probably forget / lose it before october)

I've been doing a better job of going to the gym on the way to work, but somehow like every other time I manage to forget an item I need in my gym bag - most often towel, belt, or shoes for work. A few times I've just given up on going to the office and worked from home due to this.

Whereas today I am beltless in office and just pulling up my jeans a lot, lol

Found this year’s and last year’s registration in my glove box today with the August 2024 tag still on this year’s form, that I paid for last August. A non-required front tag? Nope. Stowed the registration on purchase and have been driving with expired tabs since September.