VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

• Left bass guitar and Ampeg amplifier in back of pick-up while grocery shopping.

;_;

Having had instruments stolen from locked vehicles twice, this one just makes me cringe.

The look on my face when I came out with the groceries and there was my rig must have been quite priceless.

sometimes i think that i'm not actually going to be able to tell if/when i do go senile. how would i know the difference?

I've actually asked a doctor this.

Part of the treatment for some Alzheimer's patients is to furnish their domicile with things that are familiar to them. So a man's kitchen might have an old oven and old refrigerator with the pull-down handle. Maybe an old analog radio with the needle on the dial.

I think about spending my 2040s in a room with a Playstation 2 and a turntable, and get very peaceful about the whole aging process.

I belong here.

When I was in high school I worked at a small supermarket, and one of my crap jobs on weekends was to peel potatoes in the deli when we weren't busy at the checkouts. One shift I was peeling away, got called to the checkout to help, and returned about 40 minutes later to find two angry produce boys mopping up a giant flood, created by me leaving the tap running. The entire deli was flooded. Thank GOD it was a Sunday and both the bosses were out, I would definitely have been fired.

I left my engagement ring on the sink in our apartment and went to work, twice. Oh god the incredible panic I felt at realizing it wasn't on my finger nor anywhere in sight. I looked everywhere, completely freaked out, held back tears and called my then-fiance, who thankfully was home both times to confirm it was safe in the bathroom.

I lost a lovely expensive watch that my mother gave me. So she bought me another one, exactly the same. Which I then lost. Guilt was huge on that one.

Been waiting a coupla years to tell this story on ILX...OK so I'm at the grocery because I'm craving Heinz pork-and-beans, and I'm frustrated 'cause on the shelf there's 20 red-labeled cans (meaning beans in molasses sauce, which I don't want) and not a single blue label (tomato sauce, my preference.) So I look closer and way at the back is a single blue can - yay! - so I grab it and then read haricots blancs à la sauce tomate (lol Canada) and I think "aw shit, one can left and it's French!"

It takes me a few seconds to register: "Idiot, just turn the can around and you can read the English side of the label."

It takes a FURTHER few seconds to realize, more to the point, that I'm buying the BEANS, not the label.

My stupidest one is probably when I borrowed a friends car to drive to a gig in Glasgow at the Barrowlands, I don't know Glasgow super well but I gather it's not in the most salubrious part of town. Parked the car on a busy road and walked the half mile to the venue, stopping in at a chip shop on the way. Went in and walked through the recently installed metal detectors. Hmm I thought, curious they didn't beep, what with my car keys in my pocket... oooooooohhhh shiiiiiiittttt. Ran back to the car, checking I hadn't left them in the chippy on the way. There they were, still in the driver's door. Was probably slightly lucky in that I'd parked with the door on the road side, not the kerb side.

Later on in the year I crashed his car into a roundabout in the early hours of the morning. Good times!

Hah, got a new iPhone (because I lost the old one, of course) last week, and got a delivery slot of 6-10pm. Came home in a hurry, busied myself writing my magnum opus playing Batman: Arkham City, and then the delivery man knocked on the door and gave me my iPhone... and a pitying look as he indicated my keys still in the door.

My wife and I have gone out to dinner and left the front door to our house wide open at least once.

left the keys in a locked car with the engine runnning on more than one occasion

Also, MVB's story reminds me of Homer Simpsons' "Oh, there's only one can of beer left, and it's Bart's!"

I was commuting to work and had like 3 bags, and my iphone was in my lap. The train stops at times square and I stand up to get out with everyone else. Somehow because of the angle and because I was sitting right next to the doors, I didn't realize that my phone was not in my pocket until I saw it slide neatly into the gap between the train and the platform edge. Everyone around me gave me these expressions of 'oh shit, that sucks.' I was already late for work but I had to stay there and wait for the train to leave (which took a while, since it was the last stop). Luckily after it left, an MTA employee was already down on the tracks and he picked it up and gave it to me. Now I compulsively grab my phone every time I enter or exit the train.

Was thinking some more about this stuff and it has become so much more awful and panic-inducing since having a kid. I know myself well enough to know I need to CONSCIOUSLY THINK about doing the buckles up in the car seat, for instance, otherwise I will just forget. Add the very real phenomenon of baby brain into the mix, and I am a nervous wreck a lot of the time, trying to avoid leaving my child behind in a car park or watching as he swallows the bottle of medicine from the cupboard I forgot to close.

the first year we moved into our house I was TERRIBLE for leaving my keys in the front door. not cool even under normal circumstances, even more so since we were on the edge of sketchy neighborhood and occasionally would find bums plonking themselves down on our front porch for the evening.

like there were times when I'd open the front door in the morning and find the keys still in the front door from the night before.

I don't believe in guardian angels but I feel like the universe is expending an awful lot of energy to protect me from myself.

the most O_O instance of that was when I was living in Melb, walking out of a bookstore on a busy street, after work so there's lots of foot traffic. I fumble to put my change in my purse and I go next door to a cafe. As I'm standing in line for coffee I look in my wallet and realize that i'm missing a $50 note. Fuck. I dropped it. Well, I should go look but no doubt it's gone by now.

I walk out of the cafe, and in the middle of the footpath (which is swarming with people), sitting on the ground in front of the bookstore is my $50 note.

THANK YOU BABY JEBUS OR SATAN OR ODIN

Ah yes there was the time I was going to a saint etienne gig, met up with some people at the pub beforehand, at some point realised I'd left my ticket at home. Fortunately it was only a 15 minute bus ride and there was more than an hour before the gig, ok a minor annoyance especially given it was raining, but y'know, grin and bear it. So I get the bus back home, find the ticket, put it in my pocket, get the bus back to the pub, check in my pocket again as you do - wtf. No ticket. Did it fall out? Did I hallucinate putting in my pocket? So I get the bus back home again, thinking "argh/wtf/you idiot" the whole way. Retrace my steps and there, in the gutter outside my flat flowing with rain water, is my ticket.

Another one, may not be absent mindedness but it still puzzles me to this day. Get the plane tickets from the travel agent, inside the cardboard wallet. Fold the wallet inside the paper itinerary, put the bundle in my jacket pocket. Get home, take the bundle out of my pocket, unfold the itinerary, get the wallet, open it up... no tickets. Nor were they still back at the travel agents.

Have also lost at least two passports, one just before going on holiday. It had been recently renewed and I still had the old one, now expired and with a corner cut off. Discovered you can still travel on them, in the EU anyway, if they're less than 12 months out of date. Only had one problem, boarding the plane back home the flight attendant thought this was not proper, but after a couple of minutes just let it go.

A couple times I have been pouring boiling water for coffee or tea and not even looked at the cup, and poured it a couple inches to the left right onto my hand. Fuck!

I once walked into a wall holding a glass and needed 10 stiches. I still can't feel half of my left pinkie.

I put stuff that doesn't belong in the fridge in it at least a couple times every week.

left the keys in a locked car with the engine runnning on more than one occasion

― that's why ZOG controls the radio (brownie), Friday, June 8, 2012 10:50 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I did this recently except I hadn't even locked it. I parked and then ran some errands only to return and find I wasn't able to find my keys. Only then did I try the door and was like oh hey I left them in here . . . and the car running too! :/

has anyone else ever...forgotten to put their shoes on when leaving the house?

couple of years ago i was actually on the tube, one stop away from my house, when i realised i was still wearing my slippers. never felt so self-conscious as when i had to go back and shuffle home to put my shoes on :(

― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Friday, June 8, 2012 9:09 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I once realized at like 3 in the afternoon that I'd been walking around all day wearing two different (although v similar) black sandals.

A couple times I have been pouring boiling water for coffee or tea and not even looked at the cup, and poured it a couple inches to the left right onto my hand. Fuck!

I seem to have a problem judging short distances, too. And things like that happen to me more than occasionally, and it bothers me.

frantically dig through the dresser drawer for condoms, instead find cinnamon.
leave my car running for entire day in the school parking lot, burn much gas.
dry dishes, put them in the freezer.
oh look the burner's still on
oh look the foreman grill is still plugged in (yes i own and use one of these, shoosh)
say i'll call you back, forget until it's weird that i'm now calling you back

i've never lost lost my keys.

stirring a pot on my mum's electric stove, noticed the seal around the hotplate was corroded... so I touched it.

my fingertip turned white.

fyi i was a grownass adult when this happened.

I went to mess with some shit I was cooking in my stove in a dutch oven, took the metal-everything lid off with by bare fucking hand; how fucking damn dumb am I; god I fucking hate my dumb stupid self.

I mean fuck I turn into a self-loathing ding dong when I burn myself

all of you stop putting yr keys in yr back pocket

More than once I've worried that I locked my keys in my truck and realized they were between my teeth.

i burned my finger on a toaster oven once. my roommate saw me reaching out to pull out the metal shelf, said “don’t touch that”, i touched it, burned myself, and immediately said, “I DO WHAT I WANT"

he never tried to boss me around again

i have dropped my keys into a dumpster while holding onto an empty coffee cup. >_<

today my friend insisted on walking 30 blocks from jackson heights to woodside and when we were almost there i realized i had forgotten the keys to the place we were going.

Moving from the UK to US, arrived at my new apartment with 4 suitcases to find a lockbox on the door. I had the apartment keys, but hadn't expected the box. Pressed every button, tried every combination, it didn't seem to do anything or yield any keys. Called a locksmith. Locksmith arrived, asked for my keys, opened the apartment door with them, and pointed out that if the lockbox had had anything in it I would have been able to see it.

Arrive late and in a hurry for DJ gig, park car in loading/towaway zone to bring in equipment. Completely forget about car until bar closes at 2 AM. Need other DJ to drive me to impound lot.

Went to dry cleaner's to drop stuff off, forgot wallet, resigned self to taking dry cleaning back home, started to gather it up, and then had it pointed out to me by staff in shop that I don't have to pay till pick-up.

I have two doors that I go through to exit my home. Despite having done this hundreds of times, I continually pick out the wrong key to lock the door. They are distinctly different keys, yet I can't ever get them right.

i have dropped my keys into a dumpster while holding onto an empty coffee cup. >_<

From the "Document Your ARGGGH Moments" thread, which never took off.

Oh man, came out of playing a gig one night, bass in one hand, car keys and beer bottle in other hand. Tried to toss beer bottle into dumpster and keys went sailing along. Much time spent poking around a dumpster filled with mix of garbage bags, rainwater and fryer grease.

― On the sidelines in a trash can grumping (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 17:20 (3 months ago) Permalink

i always seem to misplace either my keys, wallet, or cell phone. i never leave them behind anywhere (except once), but i always put them down somewhere in the house and then forget where i put them. too many times have i ended up showing up late somewhere because i was frantically digging around the house trying to find one of those three items. and they're usually on the couch or the bed, for some reason often underneath a blanket or the cat.

as someone with dodgy plumbing, these overflowing bath stories are making me alarmed

as someone with A HOUSE WHICH HAS dodgy plumbing

it's too late for disclaimers james james morrison morrison weatherby george pants pee

^_^

Overflowing the bath/sink is fine if yr bathroom has a drain in the floor - which I grew up with and thought was normal, but I've since discovered isnt, really. It seems like it'd be v important, especially say, in a multi storey place!

Swear the biggest differences between my world and your world, Trayce, involve plumbing. In Australia, these are somewhat normal:

• The drain in the floor.

• The frequency of shower/sink being in a different room from the toilet.

• The common off-hand way people use the word "toilet".

• Troughs commonly found instead of urinals.

• This little step thingy in front of the troughs.

• Many residences not even having a bathtub.

• Being offered the choice of full flush or half flush.

Nothing wrong with any of that, but I could drive on the left-hand side all day long and I wouldn't feel as strange as facing that step thingy.

Hahah I know! The not having a bathtub one is now becoming VERY common in new or newly renovated homes and apartments - so many people seem to hate or never have baths, so they're having that whole are replaced with GIANT SHOWERS that you could honestly fit 3 or 4 people in!? It made house-hunting a very irritating task, 60% of the places I liked had no bath.

half flush doesn't do shit

also I will never ever become accustomed to the habit of calling a toilet a 'bathroom'

half flush doesn't do shit

Well of course not that's what the full-flush is for.

hahaha. wait a minute doesnt ever bathroom have at least a sink?its ridiculous not to have a drain in the floor 4 sure

A+ pplains

that's the punchline veg

half flush doesn't do shit

Well, indeed.

DOH XPOSTARGH