Your (Non-ILX) Dreams

Awesome! Usually when I dream about money, it's like, "I found ten bucks in some old jeans! Now I can eat!"

I dreamt last night I was dating Britney Spears. We had sex and went shopping for keyboards at the mall. The only problem was that I had to travel back in time to hang out with her. I was in the present, and she was in early 2003. That's my guess, at least, because I think she was recording In the Zone at the time. She told me it was going to be dedicated to me. I really wanted to tell her that she should release "Toxic" as the first single instead of "Me Against the Music" -- I was already thinking of ways to tell her nicely that I thought "Me Against the Music" was shit -- but I was afraid of changing history.
-- Sanjay McDougal (jmcunnin...), November 21st, 2004.

we didn't make out.

This probably doesn't sounds as anxiety-inducing as it was.

1) I was working at some kind of "information-kiosk" in the city, which looked like a hot-dog cart. A seemingly crazy and sinister man in a trenchcoat came to the kiosk and kept saying "Get me Jack Ruby's gun. I need you to get me Jack Ruby's gun." I was very frightened by this.

2) I was walking around in a high school, though I wasn't actually "back in high school" or anything. Suddenly, a skinny indie-rock dude jumped down from the rafters and made like he was going to beat me up. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" I said, "I'm not even IN high school!" He backed off.

i just fell asleep and in my dream i was walking down the street (home for the weekend while spending the summer in russia) and i saw a girl that was in a dream of mine about a year ago: in that one we were at a movie and she came up and asked to sit next to me because the guy she was there with was acting creepy. this time i introduced myself to her and she remembered me. that's about it... but it was really odd.

(Ted Danson was in there somewhere too)

I'm not too bothered with the family because Paul (him indoors) and I have just relaunched our band, and it's like when we first started out, so we're about 21. We have Nick Rhodes on keyboards, someone unknown on drums, and they've come to stay, to rehearse and stuff. They're about 21 as well, NR has a dodgy headband on.

We're setting up the kit when one of my cousins comes in and says 'come and see your Christmas present', and she opens the door and seven goats come into the room.

The door to the balcony is open and the goats all run and jump over the rail onto the pitched roof of the first floor (it's one of those rambling old houses). At first I'm really worried but then I remember that goats live on vertical cliff faces and they'll probably be OK on a roof. When I turn back to the room, it's empty, and the rest of the house is empty too.

(Everyone disappearing is a frequent theme in my dreams)

And I don't even HAVE sex dreams! Ever!

me too. none of my subsequent dreams has been that good.

nice

ive had strep throat and a nasty ear infection for a couple of weeks now and every dream i've had since being sick has been centered around pineapples. whole, sliced and crushed.

Then I vomit again and wake up.

Goodness.

Two friends and I were supposed to do a "reading" of Marshall McLuhan's "The Medium is the Massage" (a mostly graphical work with little text) in a Philadelphia basement as part of an indie rock show. I was late because I couldn't find my copy of the book and had to go to a bookstore, where the clerk didn't know what I was talking about.

I had a dream the other night where I had woken up and was talking to someone about the dream I had just had. That was a bit wtf.

It's like that Fruit Loops commercial.

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and I are of course going to a titty bar. When we get there David Duchovny gives me a condescending "no idea who you are" greeting. I attemt to 'zing' him back being all like "but you may know my friends!" and kind of step back to reveal Jon and Stephen, but somehow he had already saw them come in and talked to them so I just feel awkward and pathetic :(

Anxiety dreams about work AGAIN :(

I had a dream that Radovan Karadzic had escaped from custody. Some CID guys turned up on my door thinking I was him in a new disguise. I couldn't convince them otherwise, and they kept trying to trick me into speaking Serbian, Great Escape stylee. The dream ended with me about to be carted off to The Hague.

I'm posted up in a driveway in a white van that is, I think, meant to be my band's van (which I never drive, and which is green). Late-70s-era Chevy Chase is standing at the van's window wearing a plaid, polyester suit jacket of blue, white, red and brown. I can still picture the print very clearly. He says "I think you and I have some blood in common" and smiles. I am just getting ready to agree and say "I have always thought you looked like my Dad," but he points to his left using his right arm (arm across stomach, leaning to the right, jaunty stance, a hyuk hyuk joke) and a young, dark-haired guy with a short beard pops up into view. They both laugh. "Wait, Ari?!" I say and laugh confusedly. "Ari" indicates the dark-haired guy, and he is not a person that I know in real life, but in the dream I know that he is a friend and associate of Dan, our manager. I look out of the passenger side window and Dan is standing there in a black suit and light blue satin tie. He bows with his palms pressed together at his chest, an amused look on his face. All of this takes place in my childhood driveway on what seems like a Fall afternoon.

I had a dream that I had to kick a girl out of shelter and she bit my hand.

giving me some fresh ideas for a Bearabbas character, if you're willing to collaborate on the script

I also had a dream last night that I recall less about, involving an elderly and senile Mr. T wandering into my grandparents' house (which he lived next door to) and causing a ruckus (I remember that he called the meatloaf on the table 'white supremacist loaf' at one point). Eventually, with the help of his nephew and a needlessly convoluted plan which involved some blonde '90s singer (LeAnn Rimes? Heather Nova?) recording a new song that mentioned his name several times, we were finally able to draw T. safely back to his own home.

Guy Fieri was getting arrested and

whoops accidentally hit submit.

Guy Fieri was getting arrested. I don't know why, but he was cackling with maniacal laughter. The cops had him laying on his back.

NSFW:
His pants were down. And you know those penis enlargement pumps? He had one of those on and his dick was huge. And he had one on each ball and they were the biggest, longest balls I've ever seen.

I was with some people close to me, in conversation. I kept trying to remember the name of the previous president, the one before Biden. In the dream, it was a talking dog, a shiba-inu, who was also a kind of insult comedian. My dreaming mind had mixed up Donald Trump and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, probably because of the words Trump and Triumph being so close and both figures being semi-prominent NBC personalities in the 2000s. The reason it was a shiba-inu is probably because I know someone whose elderly shiba-inu recently passed.

In any case, I couldn't remember the name of this president and was getting frustrated. Terrence? Trippy? Everyone around me just wanted to talk about how awful he was, how he brought our country to the precipice of destruction, but I just wanted to know the name. Tracks? Then I moved onto a different question -- how could a dog be president anyway? Are dogs citizens? No one was listening to me. At this point it was like I was on mute, everyone carried on their conversation and wouldn't answer my basic questions about this recently deposed canine demagogue.

Tesla were moving into the stairlift market. The start of the presentation revealed how corrupt or incompetent Stannah were as a business, getting percentages mixed up with cash amounts and bankrupting their customers. Then Elon appeared floating up and down on a chair with no visible means of support.

I went to an Ikea store for a business meeting with Mads Mikkelsen. He was in the kitchen section and a bunch of kitchen tables had been placed in a row to make a kind of boardroom table. He was sitting down and looked miserable.

I had rigged up a back-seat bookies on the top of a double-decker bus, even with a cash register and was very anxious that all the unruly people on the bus were stealing money from the till. And some point I was paying someone out but was repeatedly needing to recount the money and coming up with a different amount every time, and this torturous part of the dream seemed to go on forever.

I was collaborating on a single with Justin Bieber.

Paulie Shore was working as a water-tester at a local reservoir and I kept taunting him by yelling "Snoochie Boochies".

I was listening to Murmur yesterday and then last night I dreamed that one of the songs on the album was actually called 'Shitting, Still' and that the band's name was RBM. Yes, I am eight years old even in my dreams.

A new set of trading cards is taking the world by storm. They're called Malkobread, and each card features John Malkovich elaborately costumed as a different kind of bread product.

I don't recall the context, but I know that the phrase 'roll of a lifetime' instantiated in my brain at some point during the dream.

No, there is no excuse for any of this.

It is discovered somehow (the origins are murky) that there are regions in the world where there is a surfeit of time; it collects in big rippling pools and when you're there time stands still, or it's like you're outside of the usual mechanics of time. People bring their loved ones, particularly the terminally sick; others, me included, just wheel about in the surf. I experience the whole dream as if I'm travelling across shallow water on a boogie board.

I literally woke myself up laughing.

I was sharing a room in a dilapidated house somewhere in California. The place was really run down and not at all secure, but I slept like a baby. I was grateful to my brother because he's the only person who is not bothered by my snoring.

*sharing a room with my brother