shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

headline is prolly a nod to the Onion tbf

A couple of people have put together "seapunk" playlists on spotify. It's mostly two bands: Teams and Unicorn Kid. Hadn't heard either before but it's alright in that chillwave "I'm not actually sure if this is supposed to be good or not" sort of way.

“Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.”

it's like wu tang clan for the iGeneration

"yeah yeah my mom loves spongebob and finding nemo too"

"dude your mom is a seapunk MILF! awesome!"

i wonder if azaelia banks has seen the penis on the little mermaid dvd box

*get* the sensibility of the generation that has spawned chillwave, witchhouse, etc.

chillwave = rickrolled w/ the sound off

witchhouse = putting the webcam at odd angles in a dark room so boys can't see your body

new r&b = livejournal

new rap = blingee

this is actually a lot more pervasive than ringtones and hashtag lyrics

i'm sorry this has gone from jokes to capt obvious ideas for you

Are Daily Mail articles banned from this thread, well, for being the Daily Mail?

Was celebration of free health care in Opening Ceremony a coded message to the US? Americans are left confused
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180227/London-2012-Olympics-Some-Americans-left-baffled-tribute-NHS-Mary-Poppins-Opening-Ceremony.html

http://sportinglife.aol.co.uk/olympics/news/article/22891/7969529/italian-walker-tests-positive

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/11/devastated-by-my-sons-tattoo

this is probably a work of fiction imho but there are tons of killer lines in there so I'm sharing it with respect not derision

it's a quality article

I'm an accountant and I have a giant tattoo of topless woman riding a motorbike in to hell on my back. It's never burdened my career

She needs counselling.

she needs inversion therapy

this makes me more determined to get my robert musil tattoo.

and yes it will be him riding a motorcycle into hell.

have always fancied having "KANT" and "HUME" tattooed across my knuckles

the no regrets tattoo alternative is to get those nike running shoes customised, you can't have "cunt" tho which sort of ruins it.

Oh my god that woman needs help.That is the most fucked up self absorbed shit I have ever read, making it all about her being "redundant", acting like he was dead or something? Jesus christ.

We need a new thread for : Shit That Looks Like A Daily Mail Article (But Isn't)

Tess Morgan is a pseudonym

His father asks, "Does it hurt?"

"Yes," I say, cutting across this male bonding. "It does. Very much."

;_;

that was the money line imo

tbh i was ready for the big reveal to be that it was a "MOM" tattoo with a heart around it

inside a goatse.cx

"But what if he wants to be a lawyer?"

"Or an accountant."

Given that he's a student, you can easily tell if he wants to be one of these by finding out if he is studying Law or Accountancy. Given your relationship with him, I would suggest the easiest way to found out would be by writing to the Admissions Department of his FE institution.

i didn't know that stuff about aristocratic tattoos

On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"

We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."

He is cool and detached. He says, "I think you need to re-examine your prejudices."

lost it here

god that tattoo article might as well be a transcript bw me and my mom regarding any significant life choice I've made in the last 5 years

i didn't know that stuff about aristocratic tattoos

yeah this was kind of rad to learn about!!

unbelievable

tbh i was ready for the big reveal to be that it was a "MOM" tattoo with a heart around it

― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ditto

I'm starting to feel like the Graun played us all, it just seems way too... weird. Like extreme irony.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa2LOMajSwM

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/entertainment-us-britain-prince-naked-idUSBRE87L08C20120824

not the reuters hed but the daily mail pictured

(that's the sun, not the mail)

oh right

crosspost that headline to passive aggressive notes

reuters on a roll with this

http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/08/25/us-usa-campaign-deathmetal-idINBRE87O03S20120825

already added to wikipedia's death metal page

idgi

will two live crew also not be performing?

http://www.militarytimes.com/news/2012/08/marine-fired-mattis-quote-tattoo-082712/

Union Pacific Railroad fired conductor Carl Newman of Kansas City, Mo., in 2010 because his tattoo violated the company’s “Violence in the Workplace” policy, according to a complaint filed in federal court Aug. 9.

The words were spoken by Gen. James Mattis, now head of U.S. Central Command, when he led Marines in Iraq in 2003.

Mattis, then a tough-talking major general known as “the Warrior Monk,” commanded 1st Marine Division during the invasion. According to Washington Post reporter Thomas E. Ricks’ book “Fiasco,” Mattis sent his tanks and artillery home after the successful invasion. He met with Iraqi tribal leaders and said, “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I am pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f--- with me, I’ll kill you all.”

that reminds me of my modest proposal to make police who shoot people get tear tattoos for each person they kill

http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/09/18/convicted-killer-says-hes-too-fat-to-be-executed/

reposting this one from the "most important local news story" thread:

http://djournal.com/view/full_story/20188758/article-Wicks-n-More-consumed-in-fire

http://deadspin.com/5943994/stephen-a-smith-thought-an-article-about-him-in-the-onion-was-real

ok except it's already a very old joke at this point, this has got to be the mother of them all

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8462/8007439788_c8ee71a7de_m.jpg

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443696604577647870908169992.html