Musicians you would really punch in the face

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I'm so much more of a wedgie kind of guy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 15:48 (twenty years ago) link

Hasn't Moby suffered enough? He kind of annoys me too but really, he's pretty harmless.

My choice: Good Charlotte

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:25 (twenty years ago) link

The cruelest thing you could do to any of these people, really, is to ignore them.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:27 (twenty years ago) link

i would punch Jet, then ignore them afterwards.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:40 (twenty years ago) link

they're quite a bit bigger than me, but they wouldn't be able to run after me in trousers that tight

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:48 (twenty years ago) link

there's alot out there i'd slap if i knew i could get awat with it. but no mucician (no, not even lars or even kelly osbourne) would be worth the terrible beat down that would be layed upon me by any securty present.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:11 (twenty years ago) link

though all I'd wish on him is a few threatening sholder thrusts from Eminem, it is clear from his recent photo work and interviews that Moby has definitely not suffered enough.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

Don't recall his name but that guy who did "Don't Worry Wear Your Nappy Now" song.

― N. Ron, Saturday, 7 June 2003 19:36 (twenty years ago) link

I really want to punch Uncle Kracker.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:01 (twenty years ago) link

Can I hold him down for you?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

I am glad you feel me on this one, ned.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

Robbie Williams. Especially with all the Knebworth hype starting soon. He is going to be inescapable.

― Franklin Ambrose (Franklin Ambrose), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

*bows* There are other people I'm not fond of even more passionately, if you will, but he always struck me as useless.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty years ago) link

I don't whanna punch Robbie, i'll get all his rabies infested mucus on my fist.

― Jrvision (visionjr), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:50 (twenty years ago) link

how is eminem's b-boy affect any more false than any other rapper's?

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:54 (twenty years ago) link

mofo from the ... dammit, that Stonesy band. he married Kate Hudson. that guy! Chris something!

― Aaron A., Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:55 (twenty years ago) link

- Those cocksnots from Good Charlotte. Not just the twins either. Their spindly guitar player and Twinkie-loving bassist need some ballistic face re-alignment as well.

- Ja Rule

- Every member of Linkin Park.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:02 (twenty years ago) link

maybe it's not, amateurist, but it seems especially forced. anyhow, I just can't stand the way he talks.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:21 (twenty years ago) link

Michael Jackson

― Evan (Evan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 04:38 (twenty years ago) link

it'd probably fall off

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 8 June 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

I could see myself delivering a personal beatdown to Sean Combs accompanied by the original version of "Kashmir" played at full volume.

I wouldn't put it beyond myself to maybe kick Fred Durst in the neck and face repeatedly to the tune of N*E*R*D's "Rock Star" upon a chance encounter.

If confronted by Courtney Love on the street whilst I happened to be drunk, I'd whip my dick out and wave it around at her while singing "instant karma's gonna get YOOOOOUUUUU!". She probably wouldn't get the joke ('joke' = I've seen her genitalia far too many times oh stop the burning sensation in my mind's-eye!!!!!).

I probably wouldn't hurt him, but if I did happen to bump into Ryan Adams, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from at least pointing and laughing, or maybe if I could keep control of myself I might just walk by him, not look at him or act like I recognize him at all, but as I pass him by, hum a few bars of "Summer of '69", just loud enough for him to hear it.

Most of all though, if I ever get my hands on that Nickalicious fucker...well, you know that intro bit from "M.E.T.H.O.D. Man"?

― not nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:13 (twenty years ago) link

'ilm: i want to hurt famous black people and non-famous totally unknown indie musicians'

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:19 (twenty years ago) link

Michael Jackson's black?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:58 (twenty years ago) link

well this thread is fucking appaling.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:19 (twenty years ago) link

yeah im writing to my mp

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:28 (twenty years ago) link

that's even worse!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:30 (twenty years ago) link

i love how all the indie celebs are like conceited sellout types who want to be big rockstars and so ilm thinks theyre abandoning their roots or some bullshit like that, but the rappers rnb singers etc named are just rappers and rnb singers!!! their crime is being successful!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, I'm very jealous of P. Diddy, you got me, trife. Have you ever listened to any Dave Matthews?

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:36 (twenty years ago) link

its like ilm is mark fuhrman and yo look out jay z is driving while black!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

Are you suggesting, trife, that Jay Z is not a "conceited sellout types who want to be big rockstars"? That sounds pretty accurate to me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

ILM in big collection of envious bigots shocker, trife?

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

theres not the same reaction to jay 'selling out' because i doubt millar or whoever was a reasonable doubt head who still wants him to be gritty, its the p diddy thing too, their history doesnt matter for shit to you because theyre 'selling out' by not being marginalized and poor!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:55 (twenty years ago) link

and millar i never said anything about jealousy or envy so stop trying to bring that, i know youre not envious of puffy i mean come on hes COLORED

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:56 (twenty years ago) link

p diddy is going back to being marginalised and poor to make iffy house records

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

Okay trife you got me there! Ha ha! Boy did I feel stupid when I found out Carl Craig and Derrick May were BLACK, I sure did want to punch them in the face!

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:04 (twenty years ago) link

not famous

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:14 (twenty years ago) link

this is sub trifean at best.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:18 (twenty years ago) link

yeah trife stick around, in the late show we hate on gay people too

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:09 (twenty years ago) link

the datsuns aren't sellouts, they were always shit. i wanted to punch them BEFORE they were all over england's tits. only difference is they got a stylist now. i can't believe they need someone to choose their denim for them!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:15 (twenty years ago) link

in the past week the only thread on ilm to mention puffy or em or 50 or jay z is this one, when you only trot out these artists for a useless beatdown thread it starts to seem a little like racial profiling!! puffy hasnt even had a hit in years, hes not there for himself hes there as a symbol for rap that white people shouldnt like

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:28 (twenty years ago) link

yawn.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:31 (twenty years ago) link

trife Alex is right. Puffy isn't a symbol of anything except lame, unimaginative, f**kin' not-real-in-any-Goddamn-sense-of-the-word-except-the-one-that-means-"yes,-it-exists"
shitty ass gives-a-bad-name-to-a-good-genre rap. Calling Puffy's records "rap" does the whole genre a terrible disservice. I saw him on the Regis
Philbin show doin' his "I want a girl who's there for me" song and it was just painful. It's not "racist" to fucking loathe Puffy. It's just good sense.

Sorry to get all emo but this is the second time you've played this card today

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:11 (twenty years ago) link

I mean, I don't notice you calling misogyny when two guys talk about how one's gonna hold Avril Lavigne down while the other one beats her...oh, wait, that's right, racism=bad, sexism=not something to worry about

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:13 (twenty years ago) link

Jesus Christ what do you want should I start a thread called 'RAPPERS I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF PUNCHING IN THE FACE?' I've got quite a list. Is it so wrong then to call out the rappers I don't like? What the fuck. I knew when I started this thread it would get all 'if you don't have anything to nice to say' boo-hooey, which is why I prefaced it with a comment about the fact that I don't really have any musicians that fit the thread description anymore. Whatever. Please remain on the smug pedestal and rain down yr righteous indignation, it's almost as productive as the rest of this thread.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:32 (twenty years ago) link

mention puffy or em or 50 or jay z is this one, when you only trot out these artists for a useless beatdown thread it starts to seem a little like racial profiling!!

Which one of these things doesn't belong here? (hint: coughthesecondonecough)

BTW, I hate gays and blacks equally.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:37 (twenty years ago) link

don't forget women and the disabled

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:54 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, I think their food is running low...gotta go refill the vats. Thanks Jim!

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:58 (twenty years ago) link

: ( i love p diddy

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:04 (twenty years ago) link

that's not our fault

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:07 (twenty years ago) link

: ( i love p diddy

and I love you, and you know it, too, but your conviction that white ppl not liking aboveground rap=white ppl revealing their secret racist hearts!!! needs serious reexamination. My hatred of Puffy isn't 'cause he's a convenient stand-in for stuff I don't like, it's cause back when he was all over the charts, listening to pop radio/watching MTV or its various equivalents became a fucking chore because I couldn't stand all that uncreative, dull recycling of songs under the guise of "sampling." You gotta give people the benefit of the doubt & take 'em at their word: people might just wanna punch Puffy in the face 'cause they think he sucks.

Oh yeah and there was the whole "I am no longer Puff Daddy, now I am P. Diddy" thing, which merits as much ridicule as the world can spare

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:18 (twenty years ago) link

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Glenn Danzig, but many have beaten me to that punch.

― Eater of Mexicans (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:25 (fifteen years ago) link

danzig is like 5"3" tough guy

― the night of counting the years (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:56 (fifteen years ago) link

5"3"? What's that, measuring up and then out?

― Lower GI Joe (libcrypt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 06:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Let's be real here, Axl would probably just throw a diva-fit rather than fight back.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:26 (fifteen years ago) link

OK then, DMX. Eminem? Scott Stapp.

― Sugar hiccup, Makes a pig soar and swoon (Pillbox), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Rose Melberg

― endangered cocktails, fish house punch, frivolous filly (unregistered), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:32 (fifteen years ago) link

I would go to town on Pharrell Williams, for sure. He's probably my most loathed of all musicians. Then I'd make a trip over to Steve Aoki's house. . .(not that he can be called a musician), and Busy P, that dude needs a bout with some sort of unpleasant pox.

― Their time's limited, hard rocks, too (mehlt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 15:47 (fifteen years ago) link

How in the world have we made it this far without a DevBan mention? Him then.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Wednesday, 12 November 2008 22:16 (fifteen years ago) link

omg 5 years ago is embarrassing jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (fifteen years ago) link

embarrassing, jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (fifteen years ago) link

haha you were right the first time.

rollins has been punched in the face zillions of times! didn't y'all read GET IN THE VAN??

hatin' on the strokes in 08 is funny though.

Any "freak-folk"/"psych-folk" musician who is not Skip Spence (and he's dead, so that'd just be mean and pointless).

^^do not hit gary higgins or bill fay in the face they are old (and maybe dead in fay's case)

― M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:41 (fifteen years ago) link

i think i'm going to try these crazy login names the kids are so crazy about these days.

― 'RAPPERS I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF PUNCHING IN THE FACE?' (M@tt He1ges0n), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:42 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't imagine hating on Puffy. He is like a fountain of amusement.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Thursday, 13 November 2008 07:48 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

you've come a long way, baby

― thomp, Thursday, 3 December 2009 13:48 (fourteen years ago) link

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