We need a new thread for : Shit That Looks Like A Daily Mail Article (But Isn't)
― Chewton Mendip (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Saturday, 11 August 2012 11:43 (eleven years ago) link
Tess Morgan is a pseudonym
― kanye shiwen (dayo), Saturday, 11 August 2012 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
His father asks, "Does it hurt?"
"Yes," I say, cutting across this male bonding. "It does. Very much."
;_;
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:01 (eleven years ago) link
that was the money line imo
tbh i was ready for the big reveal to be that it was a "MOM" tattoo with a heart around it
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link
inside a goatse.cx
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:08 (eleven years ago) link
"But what if he wants to be a lawyer?"
"Or an accountant."
Given that he's a student, you can easily tell if he wants to be one of these by finding out if he is studying Law or Accountancy. Given your relationship with him, I would suggest the easiest way to found out would be by writing to the Admissions Department of his FE institution.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
i didn't know that stuff about aristocratic tattoos
― goole, Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:34 (eleven years ago) link
On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"
We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."
He is cool and detached. He says, "I think you need to re-examine your prejudices."
lost it here
god that tattoo article might as well be a transcript bw me and my mom regarding any significant life choice I've made in the last 5 years
― electric point-electric counterpoint (m bison), Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:37 (eleven years ago) link
yeah this was kind of rad to learn about!!
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 23:59 (eleven years ago) link
unbelievable
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Sunday, 12 August 2012 02:37 (eleven years ago) link
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
ditto
― catbus otm (gbx), Sunday, 12 August 2012 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
I'm starting to feel like the Graun played us all, it just seems way too... weird. Like extreme irony.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa2LOMajSwM
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Monday, 13 August 2012 02:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/entertainment-us-britain-prince-naked-idUSBRE87L08C20120824
not the reuters hed but the daily mail pictured
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 15:55 (eleven years ago) link
(that's the sun, not the mail)
― koogs, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:17 (eleven years ago) link
oh right
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:21 (eleven years ago) link
crosspost that headline to passive aggressive notes
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 24 August 2012 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
reuters on a roll with this
http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/08/25/us-usa-campaign-deathmetal-idINBRE87O03S20120825
― goole, Sunday, 26 August 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
already added to wikipedia's death metal page
― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:34 (eleven years ago) link
idgi
― the late great, Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:37 (eleven years ago) link
will two live crew also not be performing?
http://www.militarytimes.com/news/2012/08/marine-fired-mattis-quote-tattoo-082712/
Union Pacific Railroad fired conductor Carl Newman of Kansas City, Mo., in 2010 because his tattoo violated the company’s “Violence in the Workplace” policy, according to a complaint filed in federal court Aug. 9.
The words were spoken by Gen. James Mattis, now head of U.S. Central Command, when he led Marines in Iraq in 2003.
Mattis, then a tough-talking major general known as “the Warrior Monk,” commanded 1st Marine Division during the invasion. According to Washington Post reporter Thomas E. Ricks’ book “Fiasco,” Mattis sent his tanks and artillery home after the successful invasion. He met with Iraqi tribal leaders and said, “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I am pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f--- with me, I’ll kill you all.”
― goole, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:06 (eleven years ago) link
that reminds me of my modest proposal to make police who shoot people get tear tattoos for each person they kill
― the late great, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:31 (eleven years ago) link
http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/09/18/convicted-killer-says-hes-too-fat-to-be-executed/
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:11 (eleven years ago) link
reposting this one from the "most important local news story" thread:
http://djournal.com/view/full_story/20188758/article-Wicks-n-More-consumed-in-fire
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Thursday, 20 September 2012 16:57 (eleven years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/5943994/stephen-a-smith-thought-an-article-about-him-in-the-onion-was-real
― am0n, Thursday, 20 September 2012 17:14 (eleven years ago) link
ok except it's already a very old joke at this point, this has got to be the mother of them all
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8462/8007439788_c8ee71a7de_m.jpg
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 22:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443696604577647870908169992.html
― free-range chicken pox (Matt P), Saturday, 22 September 2012 21:48 (eleven years ago) link
Getting That Justin Vernon Body With Trainer Jeff Rogers
http://www.mtvhive.com/2012/09/24/bon-iver-workout/
― goole, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
haha, the late great, I posted in the Amish thread the Cleveland Plain Dealer headline on that story, which falls just short of all-time greatness:
http://imageshack.us/a/img692/2404/frontpage092112jpgf4ed9.jpg
― a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/news/47960-full-scott-walker-album-details-revealed/
― Jeff W, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 19:10 (eleven years ago) link
his name was mullet?!?
― the late great, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link
yeah his name was mullet. that kind of puts it more in mad magazine territory, though they'd probably change it to Potzrebie Mulletski or something.
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:21 (eleven years ago) link
Buddhist "Iron Man" Found by Nazis Is from Space
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=buddhist-iron-man-found
― goole, Thursday, 27 September 2012 18:27 (eleven years ago) link
Bachmann: ‘We Must Ban Falafel’ in School Lunches
http://dailycurrant.com/2012/09/28/bachmann-we-ban-falafel-school-lunches/#.UGXBjenOHSI.facebook
"I have to ask Ms. Bachmann, why is that a problem? I mean some children like the taste of falafel, what's wrong with that?""Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' ""Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland.""We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
"Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' "
"Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland."
"We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link
the daily currant is a shitty onion-style fake-news website
― max, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
lol now i'm one of those people!
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
terror cakes is roughly B+ tho
― Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.gameranx.com/updates/id/9639/article/glenn-beck-thinks-eve-online-is-a-front-for-the-cia/
― barthes simpson, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 13:29 (eleven years ago) link
"It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma."
OTM
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:34 (eleven years ago) link
Falafel and kebab are totally opposite demographics over here.
― I got the Boyzone, I got the remedy (ledge), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:36 (eleven years ago) link
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/120927074234-benjamin-netanyahu-bomb-un-horizontal-gallery.jpg
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:43 (eleven years ago) link
christine lagarde from the IMF threatening argentina with a red card if they don't comply with their orders.
"Argentina is good in football and it certainly understands what we are talking about," said Ms Lagarde.
such condescension! good thing cristina fernandez told her to fuck off.
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.startribune.com/local/minneapolis/172500101.html?refer=y
Undisclosed 'concern' has Mpls. South HS in lockdown; police involved
Minneapolis South High School is in a lockdown Wednesday for what officials are calling a “concern in the school community.”
During the lockdown, classes are being conducted as usual, but students will remain in the rooms, the campus was closed during the lunch period and students with an open hour are not allowed to leave the building, said School District spokeswoman Rachel Hicks.
The district has yet to disclose what has prompted the lockdown.
“We are working collaboratively with the Minneapolis Police Department to monitor the concern,” Hicks said in a written statement. “However, we are unable to share details of the concern because of our ongoing investigation.”
Police Sgt. William Palmer confirmed that his department is involved “to a degree,” but he referred questions back to the district.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:08 (eleven years ago) link
That would certainly be one of the drier Onion stories.
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:13 (eleven years ago) link
certainly would.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:14 (eleven years ago) link
http://consumerist.com/2012/10/03/fancy-new-taco-bells-hope-to-go-upscale-with-eaterys-image/
“We wanted a look that’s totally different, to show that we’re an upscale brand,” said the executive VP of big-time Taco Bell franchisee Alvarado Companies. “You walk in and it feels new and fresh.”
― bell biv devo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:41 (eleven years ago) link
haha OMG is taco bell gonna try to 'dinner service' like burger king did in the late 80s???
― balls, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link