Post the funniest slam another ILXer has made about you

the point isn't that people do bad things, or that people sometimes don't care about other people, it's that the cumulative not-caring-about-other-people of a whole bunch of people over time creates systems and situations that are really difficult to turn around. like the wire is constantly making the "this person is acting as is basically required of him for the preservation of his job, and look how destructive it is, but look how difficult it would be for him to act differently" point about all kinds of different people with all kinds of different jobs, and the GIANT DICKENS/ZOLA SCOPE that can sometimes make the show seem shallow or didactic or less deep than the presumably-more-shakespearean sopranos is necessary to get the perspective the show needs to figure out how these people's jobs got this way.

― difficult listening hour, Thursday, 10 March 2011 21:20 (5 minutes ago)

this all true but it's p fucking limited stuff, there's a reason kids read dickens and nobody outside of france/college reads zola

― maxwell's silva hamartia (nakhchivan), Thursday, March 10, 2011 9:30 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I feel like I've definitely incurred a funny slam or two (which I'm eternally receptive to), but most of the slams I remember have been disappointingly dickholish and humorless.

so i was referring to the dlh post, not the wire itself....which would make sense cuz i like the wire, but it was unkind to dlh

oh okay see i didn't even understand it the first time around! relentlessly secondrate!

now i am mad @ u about dickens tho

<3

difficult listening hour is generally a v good poster who i have never seen upbraided for prolixity, despite having probably the highest avg word count this side of contenderizer, which reflects well on him and poorly on all the lazy 'contenderizer writes a lot' zings

i assume most ilxors, like i do, hang on dlh's every word

xps really though, what horse actually needs or wants a first-rate horseshoe? i bet most horses actually prefer second-rate horseshoes. just sayin'.

haha thanks for being so nice about what a baby i am

lol, that's a particularly kinly interpretation, nakh, bless u

anyway, i get hardsonned all the time but can't remember the good ones :(

r|t|c once called me "the ilm eunuch eclectic"

lol

the best one i remember was chaki calling me a saddo.

xp catchy

ya it was p rad

afaict, r|t|c basically only posts about english football arcana and leftfield rnb &c and never shall the twain of those audiences meet

rtc is really good at this, also sort of terrifying

lol otm, i'm a big fan

somewhat overdetermining the 'aristos' comment has suggested i was a moleskine owner and i had to look that up (a brand of precious notebooks apparently)

i looked at the og post but it's basically incomprehensible if u don't know what a clogger or a white van man or a graham dorrans is (some real big bottom bird britishness there)

r|t|c has suggested

No, you're just a dope who doesn't know cats as well as you think. But don't feel bad about it.

― Three Word Username, Monday, April 23, 2012 9:26 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And then shortly thereafter:

And you have no idea how much you feed your own cat, which makes you a valuable member of society.

― Three Word Username, Monday, April 23, 2012 9:40 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

1) I use a measuring cup to scoop out my cats' food and feed them a very specific amount, so this is factually incorrect; and 2) LOL.

I don't know that those are "slams" but it's the closest anybody has ever come to on ILX to randomly singling me out for a little irrational anger. But I love the idea of someone being worthless to society for the sole reason that she doesn't know how much she feeds her cat.

i need some context on that slam. also i have no beef with Three Word Username afaik but he/she can gtfo for calling you a dope >:[

Snoop Dogg has probably smoked more weed than anybody.

-- snoball, Sunday, 18 November 2007 15:03 (2 hours ago) Link

oh word

-- Wrinklepaws, Sunday, 18 November 2007 15:14 (2 hours ago) Link

THAT IS ONE OF THE RIGHT WING DICKS ALFRED SOTO.

― R.I.P. West Village Bird Shaman ]-`: (ex machina), Friday, March 24, 2006

Oh, you card, snoball.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 6:05 PM (4 years ago)

(it's the italics that make it)

In my mid-teens I wanted to be a stand up comedian, but I settled for being an unemployable loser instead.

-- snoball, Saturday, May 17, 2008 4:27 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you made the correct choice

― sunny successor, Monday, May 19, 2008 3:56 PM (4 years ago)

horseshoe: I said something about liking fat cats. TWU posted that all fat cats are miserable and sad and doomed to die. I said that was nonsense.

oh for god's sake

ikr

fuck fat cats

THANKS SNOBALL

― G00blar, Saturday, May 24, 2008 9:38 PM (4 years ago)

(capital letters are more sarcastic)

NB <3 horseshoe but will never forgive dickens for not editing to half the size once the things were published as novels and he wasn't getting paid by the page

I want Jeff to post the one where VegemiteGrrl called him a clip show.

he wasn't getting paid by the page

― Claude Parfait Ngon A Djam (nakhchivan), Friday, August 17, 2012 1:16 PM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is a canard and u are better than it!!!

oh c'mon horseshoe

well why were they so long!

ok maybe a dickens book isn't so long once u have read the man without qualities but at 14/15 they were a damn chore at school

Snoop Dogg has probably smoked more weed than anybody.

-- snoball, Sunday, 18 November 2007 15:03 (2 hours ago) Link

oh word

-- Wrinklepaws, Sunday, 18 November 2007 15:14 (2 hours ago) Link

― no-one seemed to hear him so he leafed through a magazine (snoball), Friday, August 17, 2012 10:10 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so funny

Nakh!

hello :)

i mean it's technically true that he got paid by the installment but whatever! i get sick of that being used to dismiss his work. do you think the dvd collection of the sopranos or whichever tv show meets with your approval should cut out the middle 10 episodes of each season? in conclusion, you come on, Mr. Que!

i love things to happen in installments tbf i wish all the dickens novels never ended and we could all cheat death etc.

so just the 2 most vocal and frequent posters supporting that opinion aren't native English speakers. maybe you guys are giving your crew a bad name tbh.

― oh boy, luriqua's house! that's where M.I.A.'s dyking! (some dude), Friday, April 30, 2010 10:27 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

p hilarie in retrospect

oh i don't think it reflects badly on him that he got paid, i respect getting paid, but i prefer the sopranos' 'hey look another fat guido got out of jail this season who knew' version of padding than the dickens 'kindly rachitic olde mrs crumplegrough tends to her cottage garden of misbegotten marrows' dickensian version of padding

haha

fair but have you read david copperfield? i mean, i wish that one were even longer somehow.

uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh David Copperfield goes on forever

i wish

you're a fucking dick, Edward III.

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Wednesday, June 25, 2008 11:57 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Seconded.

― Raw Patrick, Thursday, June 26, 2008 3:55 AM (4 years ago)

100-way tie between all the times Steve Shasta insisted on calling me polyp.

aw

i'm sure i've got some winners on file but outside of the only one that became a meme i can't really remember?

mr. snrub you are a motherfucking idiot. with every post you make i believe this more and more.
― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Tuesday, January 4, 2005 4:01 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

― Mr. Snrub, Friday, August 17, 2012 10:40 AM (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is especially funny now that the ILXor in question has published a book subtitled "A Manifesto for a More Generous World."

The funniest slam I ever got was when I had been a member for like two months and started a mad men season 4 thread without finding one that had already started and lagoon got mad and imagebombed my thread

someone...either lagoon or sic ...did a retrospective of every lol i ever uttered... i was mortified but in retrospect it was v funny

otm

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9b761fddbdc620c3b671fe657b2d8973/tumblr_mkr0fwAvNM1ru09vqo1_500.gif

I don't post enough to get slammed often, only one I can remember is cankles calling me a cumlord after I correctly stated Five Guys doesn't have veggie burgers

To quote VegemiteGrrl, “lol”

I would think cumlord would be a compliment

It wasn't about what they said, it was the way they said it