VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

VG, were you the one talking about getting an occasional.. tickle/twinge in your back? Because I feel like since I read that it has been happening every day! It was occasional before that but I think you cursed me. J'accuse!

Twas not me! HOW DARE U

You did this ;_;

I have two mugs on my desk, 1 contains water, the other contains frozen blueberries. As they have melted, sometimes they stick to the sides, so I've had to toss them out of the mug toward my mouth to get them unstick. A minute ago I was reading email and I went to fling some berries down my gullet and instead I got a face full of cold water. :(

i had a thing of almonds and a mug of water in a meeting, and i absent mindedly dipped my fingers into my water mug when i meant to reach for my almonds

i went to walk into the bathroom so i could watch myself eating doritos in the mirror, but then i remembered there wasnt a mirror

omg Jesse, I am dying. I wish I could have seen this happen.

xp you didn't have any Doritos either.

no they were actually supermarket own brand chips but i didnt want people to think less of me

oh Je55e. I laughed too, I actually covered my mouth and widened my eyes! Sorry babe!

I'm sorry Je55e that made me laugh til I cried

But as penance I will share that when I rinse off dirty dishes with the sink hose, 9 times out of 10 I grab it by the trigger and spray myself full pelt in the face. I CAN'T STOP IT FROM HAPPENING i DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

Well here's the other thing: I did the exact same thing yesterday, but not as forcefully ;__;

i r dum

i went to walk into the bathroom so i could watch myself eating doritos in the mirror, but then i remembered there wasnt a mirror

??

aw yr not dumb. yr lovely, Je55e :)

Don't try to limit me, I can be both!

reach for the stars!

You should make "Dumb and Lovely" the tag line on your online dating profiles.

lol

it sounds like a low-end hair product

haha

and it does

best. thread. ever.

does anyone else get that thing where you remember all the little things you have to do ALL IN ONE GO and it stresses you out so much but you're in the middle of something else and then like literally a second later you've FORGOTTEN THEM ALL AGAIN and then half an hour later you remember them again but you're in the middle of another thing but it's compounded by the knowledge that you already remembered and then forgot and then you basically want to die

THIS, and more specifically, when I need a haircut I remember every Monday to book an appt, except that's the only day the salon is closed, so I think 'no problem, I'll call tomorrow' and then I forget until the next Monday ad infinitum

I just this morning remembered the detailed precis I'd formed in my mind last year for a play I wanted to write. Unfortunately, I only really remember the existence of the idea without many of the attendant details. Mark that one under 'arguments for maybe actually writing things the eff down now and then'.

Last night I grabbed the water jug out of the fridge instead of the milk, and poured cold water into my hot cup of coffee.

Today I brought my lunch (leftovers) and managed to leave it on my desk til lunchtime instead of putting it in the fridge when I got to work.

Someone just shoot me, srsly

I'm just having one of those days where I just keep dropping EVERYTHING. As soon as my fingers touch something, they fumble them onto the floor. Being really pregnant and having difficulty bending over, it's making me SO MAD but I can't stop.

Oh god, I sympathize with that so much...after a few fumbles in a row it makes you really paranoid, it's the worst feeling.

The lunch on the desk one reminded me of the time I brought a cup of yogurt and some carrots to work and put them in the fridge. When I went to eat them later, they were gone! I was kind of peeved that my coworker had eaten my food out of the fridge, but didn't say anything because I figured it was an honest mistake and she can be prickly about stuff. Of course, three days later as I was looking for lip balm, I came across a cup of yogurt and a bag of carrots lurking disgustingly in the dark corners of my bag. I had never put the food in the fridge in the first place.

Last night I grabbed the water jug out of the fridge instead of the milk, and poured cold water into my hot cup of coffee.

Urrrk. I sometimes do this at breakfast confusing juice to be poured in the glass with milk to be poured on the cereal, and get a bowl of juice and special k. Which is very unspecial.

my move is to pour milk into the cereal bowl before i've poured the cereal. it flies!

on wednesday i went to spray a coat of lacquer on something in the spray booth at school, all suited up with gloves and respirator, and for just a second it's like hey why is this suddenly so cumbersome OH I'M HOLDING A BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW

je55e yr mug situation could have been much worse, you could have been that chemist who mistook his container of explosive liquid for his container of water. it didn't end well.

(i can't seem to find this story anywhere, did i make it up?)

yesterday at work I tripped over a bag and walked straight into a wall

I got the giggles on the bus imagining seeing someone else accidentally throwing a mug full of water at their face instead of blueberries.

Another time I was drinking Bud bottles (longnecks) and then ordered a Red Stripe. I picked up the Red Stripe and poured it right into my lap with the bottle a few inches from my mouth because I was used to the opening being farther away than on the stubby necked Red Stripes.

identifying hard with the clumsiness stories

my speciality is, when i am running seriously late, especially if i have to catch a train or something where i can't get away with it, i grab some last-min thing off the shelf and WITHOUT FAIL manage to bring down everything else on the shelf if not the shelf itself

and wires getting tangled up

all the time

wires and cables hate me and want to strangle me. several times i have had to actually claw my headphones away from my throat in public :(

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

I was once at a film symposium at a snooty East Coast college and called security at like 2am when I had lost the key to the dorm room I was staying in. Turned out it was hanging around my neck.

I hope yoru days can be better soon

This thread is really like ILX's Island of Misfit Toys, huh <3

Once at the gym, before those fancy programmable locks were the norm, I locked my locker with a combination lock and thought I was being clever by writing the combo on my shoe. Then I went swimming and came back only to find that OF COURSE the combo had washed off my shoes soooo I had to go to the front desk in my soaking wet swimsuit and ask if someone could come cut a lock off the locker, and the guy said that if the woman who worked in housekeeping had left, I would have to wait until the gym closed (about three hours hence) and the locker room was empty so he could go in and cut the lock himself. Luckily, the woman was still there but by the time she came I had forgotten which locker I had used. Thankfully I guessed correctly.

headphones with cables is one of those 'wtf we just dropped a truck on mars but we can't do xxx' things

You can get wireless headphones!

But sadly only for home use.

yeah, sigh

Another time I was drinking Bud bottles (longnecks) and then ordered a Red Stripe. I picked up the Red Stripe and poured it right into my lap with the bottle a few inches from my mouth because I was used to the opening being farther away than on the stubby necked Red Stripes.

― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e)

Similar with me for coffee. I make about a 3-cup's worth in the morning, and by the bottom of the first cup it's cooled down enough to gulp. Then I pour myself another cup and am good with the new level (no splashing on the face), but forget about the heat, so I take a big swig and scald my mouth. Sometimes it's so hot I have immediately spit it back into the cup. Happens fairly regularly.

"have to immediately..."

God bless the absent minded for tey brought us flubber

i just almost put my teabag in my bowl of soup

the "almost" saves me from being fully absent minded, but this is probably just a warmup

It seems like I forgot to get better from this horrible cold, which added to my forgetting to get milk while shopping.
Wish I could forget I had a job interview tomorrow morning, & another the day after. But I did at least remember to buy a tie.

DId forget the new pair of glasses I was supposed to be picking up in town yesterday. May have been because i suddenly realised what time it was and needed to get to the bus station to pick up a pass then drop out to the shopping area closer to where I live to give somebody a ticket I wasn't going to use.
May also have been thanks to this rotten cold

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

Every. Single. Day.

Think my worst absent minded thing was on a busy Tube, put my hand on what I thought was the rail. Suddenly realised I was holding some other guys hand for ten seconds. ARHG