VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (1408 of them)

and it does

i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Friday, 7 September 2012 17:18 (eleven years ago) link

best. thread. ever.

mark e, Friday, 7 September 2012 17:21 (eleven years ago) link

does anyone else get that thing where you remember all the little things you have to do ALL IN ONE GO and it stresses you out so much but you're in the middle of something else and then like literally a second later you've FORGOTTEN THEM ALL AGAIN and then half an hour later you remember them again but you're in the middle of another thing but it's compounded by the knowledge that you already remembered and then forgot and then you basically want to die

THIS, and more specifically, when I need a haircut I remember every Monday to book an appt, except that's the only day the salon is closed, so I think 'no problem, I'll call tomorrow' and then I forget until the next Monday ad infinitum

kinder, Friday, 7 September 2012 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

I just this morning remembered the detailed precis I'd formed in my mind last year for a play I wanted to write. Unfortunately, I only really remember the existence of the idea without many of the attendant details. Mark that one under 'arguments for maybe actually writing things the eff down now and then'.

This Whole Fridge Is Full Of (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 September 2012 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

Last night I grabbed the water jug out of the fridge instead of the milk, and poured cold water into my hot cup of coffee.

Today I brought my lunch (leftovers) and managed to leave it on my desk til lunchtime instead of putting it in the fridge when I got to work.

Someone just shoot me, srsly

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link

I'm just having one of those days where I just keep dropping EVERYTHING. As soon as my fingers touch something, they fumble them onto the floor. Being really pregnant and having difficulty bending over, it's making me SO MAD but I can't stop.

franny glass, Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:52 (eleven years ago) link

Oh god, I sympathize with that so much...after a few fumbles in a row it makes you really paranoid, it's the worst feeling.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 13 September 2012 23:55 (eleven years ago) link

The lunch on the desk one reminded me of the time I brought a cup of yogurt and some carrots to work and put them in the fridge. When I went to eat them later, they were gone! I was kind of peeved that my coworker had eaten my food out of the fridge, but didn't say anything because I figured it was an honest mistake and she can be prickly about stuff. Of course, three days later as I was looking for lip balm, I came across a cup of yogurt and a bag of carrots lurking disgustingly in the dark corners of my bag. I had never put the food in the fridge in the first place.

carl agatha, Friday, 14 September 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link

Last night I grabbed the water jug out of the fridge instead of the milk, and poured cold water into my hot cup of coffee.

Urrrk. I sometimes do this at breakfast confusing juice to be poured in the glass with milk to be poured on the cereal, and get a bowl of juice and special k. Which is very unspecial.

computers are the new "cool tool" (James Morrison), Friday, 14 September 2012 01:02 (eleven years ago) link

my move is to pour milk into the cereal bowl before i've poured the cereal. it flies!

arby's, Friday, 14 September 2012 01:05 (eleven years ago) link

on wednesday i went to spray a coat of lacquer on something in the spray booth at school, all suited up with gloves and respirator, and for just a second it's like hey why is this suddenly so cumbersome OH I'M HOLDING A BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW

arby's, Friday, 14 September 2012 01:08 (eleven years ago) link

je55e yr mug situation could have been much worse, you could have been that chemist who mistook his container of explosive liquid for his container of water. it didn't end well.

(i can't seem to find this story anywhere, did i make it up?)

tubular, mondo, gnabry (Merdeyeux), Friday, 14 September 2012 01:26 (eleven years ago) link

yesterday at work I tripped over a bag and walked straight into a wall

* The "no hands" rule can be compared to socialist tax policies (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 14 September 2012 03:03 (eleven years ago) link

I got the giggles on the bus imagining seeing someone else accidentally throwing a mug full of water at their face instead of blueberries.

Another time I was drinking Bud bottles (longnecks) and then ordered a Red Stripe. I picked up the Red Stripe and poured it right into my lap with the bottle a few inches from my mouth because I was used to the opening being farther away than on the stubby necked Red Stripes.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Friday, 14 September 2012 19:55 (eleven years ago) link

identifying hard with the clumsiness stories

my speciality is, when i am running seriously late, especially if i have to catch a train or something where i can't get away with it, i grab some last-min thing off the shelf and WITHOUT FAIL manage to bring down everything else on the shelf if not the shelf itself

and wires getting tangled up

all the time

wires and cables hate me and want to strangle me. several times i have had to actually claw my headphones away from my throat in public :(

lex pretend, Friday, 14 September 2012 19:55 (eleven years ago) link

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 September 2012 20:58 (eleven years ago) link

I was once at a film symposium at a snooty East Coast college and called security at like 2am when I had lost the key to the dorm room I was staying in. Turned out it was hanging around my neck.

/\ /\ Delete post (admrl), Friday, 14 September 2012 21:00 (eleven years ago) link

I hope yoru days can be better soon

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 14 September 2012 21:01 (eleven years ago) link

This thread is really like ILX's Island of Misfit Toys, huh <3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 September 2012 21:06 (eleven years ago) link

Once at the gym, before those fancy programmable locks were the norm, I locked my locker with a combination lock and thought I was being clever by writing the combo on my shoe. Then I went swimming and came back only to find that OF COURSE the combo had washed off my shoes soooo I had to go to the front desk in my soaking wet swimsuit and ask if someone could come cut a lock off the locker, and the guy said that if the woman who worked in housekeeping had left, I would have to wait until the gym closed (about three hours hence) and the locker room was empty so he could go in and cut the lock himself. Luckily, the woman was still there but by the time she came I had forgotten which locker I had used. Thankfully I guessed correctly.

carl agatha, Friday, 14 September 2012 21:12 (eleven years ago) link

headphones with cables is one of those 'wtf we just dropped a truck on mars but we can't do xxx' things

* The "no hands" rule can be compared to socialist tax policies (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 14 September 2012 23:58 (eleven years ago) link

You can get wireless headphones!

But sadly only for home use.

emil.y, Saturday, 15 September 2012 00:33 (eleven years ago) link

yeah, sigh

* The "no hands" rule can be compared to socialist tax policies (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 15 September 2012 00:39 (eleven years ago) link

Another time I was drinking Bud bottles (longnecks) and then ordered a Red Stripe. I picked up the Red Stripe and poured it right into my lap with the bottle a few inches from my mouth because I was used to the opening being farther away than on the stubby necked Red Stripes.

― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e)

Similar with me for coffee. I make about a 3-cup's worth in the morning, and by the bottom of the first cup it's cooled down enough to gulp. Then I pour myself another cup and am good with the new level (no splashing on the face), but forget about the heat, so I take a big swig and scald my mouth. Sometimes it's so hot I have immediately spit it back into the cup. Happens fairly regularly.

nickn, Saturday, 15 September 2012 00:42 (eleven years ago) link

"have to immediately..."

nickn, Saturday, 15 September 2012 00:42 (eleven years ago) link

God bless the absent minded for tey brought us flubber

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 17 September 2012 16:08 (eleven years ago) link

i just almost put my teabag in my bowl of soup

rayuela, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

the "almost" saves me from being fully absent minded, but this is probably just a warmup

rayuela, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

It seems like I forgot to get better from this horrible cold, which added to my forgetting to get milk while shopping.
Wish I could forget I had a job interview tomorrow morning, & another the day after. But I did at least remember to buy a tie.

Stevolende, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 18:22 (eleven years ago) link

DId forget the new pair of glasses I was supposed to be picking up in town yesterday. May have been because i suddenly realised what time it was and needed to get to the bus station to pick up a pass then drop out to the shopping area closer to where I live to give somebody a ticket I wasn't going to use.
May also have been thanks to this rotten cold

Stevolende, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 07:48 (eleven years ago) link

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

Every. Single. Day.

Think my worst absent minded thing was on a busy Tube, put my hand on what I thought was the rail. Suddenly realised I was holding some other guys hand for ten seconds. ARHG

insert witticism here (hypehat), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 08:57 (eleven years ago) link

oh noooo IRL LOLs though

carl agatha, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:56 (eleven years ago) link

ohhhh no

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link

It seems weird that the guy didn't...say anything? For 10 seconds!

purveyor of generations (in orbit), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 15:41 (eleven years ago) link

IRL public snortol!

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 23:32 (eleven years ago) link

haha. oh man.

i do these kinds of things far too often to remember much, but i do remember one from the other week - i decided to go to the john cage centenary prom, gave myself plenty of time to get ready, had a read of the online programme, headed off with bags of time to spare, had a fine journey there, went to the ticket desk to buy an on-the-day ticket. "that's at the royal albert hall. this is the royal festival hall." oy. i knew where it was, i just somehow managed to autopilot my way through the hour long journey to the rfh. kinda felt like living in a bad sitcom. (luckily for me i had been so efficient with the rest of my day that i still had time to make it to the right place.)

Right or wrong, It's the truth! (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 23:40 (eleven years ago) link

oh yeah I feel that

had a friend from Oz visit years ago, took her to SF to see a new broadway show they were trialling at the Curran. Mr Veg drove us across town from the hotel to the Curran, dropped us off and I went to the will call to collect the tickets only to be told the show was on the following night. I meekly had to call Mr Veg and ask him to come get us. Meanwhile my friend who has known me forever was like LOLOL CLASSIC VG
;_;

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 September 2012 00:23 (eleven years ago) link

One time I got chatting to a friendly German tourist at a bar. I thought it would be a charming and hospitable gesture to buy her and her travelling companion a round of drinks, so we made our way to the bar, where the bartender poured several fancy cocktails, while I fumbled around in my pockets searching for my credit card (I was not a wallet-carrier in those days). To my distress, I couldn't find my card or any money anywhere, which I awkwardly attempted to explain to the bewildered/nascent-scam-sniffing German. I shrugged sheepishly at the bartender while I fumbled around the rest of the bar, at a loss as to where my card could be. I was alone so I couldn't ask any friends to spring for the drinks, and the German's gratitude gradually turned to bitterness as it dawned on her that I wasn't able to pay for the drinks. I avoided eye contact and shamefully pretended as if they weren't there, while the bartender shook his head, scowled, and poured away the drinks as I continued my seemingly vain pretence to save face. How pathetic I felt, when all of a sudden I remembered I hadn't checked my back pocket...

Yam, Thursday, 20 September 2012 03:11 (eleven years ago) link

oh no

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 September 2012 03:29 (eleven years ago) link

Last night I arranged to meet my bf at his local. I thought I'd be there before him as he was at the laundrette so I bought a pint, walked into the beergarden, sat down and said hello to one of the regulars.

...not at all noticing or acknowledging my bf already sitting down, 2 tables away, probably wondering why I am blanking him. WTF, me. I am still so embarrased I did that.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 20 September 2012 05:56 (eleven years ago) link

<3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:10 (eleven years ago) link

LOL yes, thats also tru.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:19 (eleven years ago) link

Not really "absentminded" but re accidental touching on public transport I was on one of the sideways seats on the bus this morning and I fell sideways onto the guy next to me on the backwards-facing seat when the bus stopped suddenly, TWICE.

WTF, no idea what was different this morning vs any other time I've sat there. The second time I thought "fuck this, maybe I'll stand", and it was almost my stop anyway, so I just got up, pressed the button, and stood until my stop. But perhaps someone thought I was so ashamed that I just got off and walked all the way into town.

I often blank people accidentally, due to a combination of being short-sighted, getting a kind of nervous/hurried tunnel vision when I'm trying to get somewhere, and not being good at faces. People from the bf's work have been all "oh I saw your gf at the shops but she ignored me", when I met them once a year ago and can't remember what they look like at all!

still small voice of clam (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 20 September 2012 08:55 (eleven years ago) link

It seems weird that the guy didn't...say anything? For 10 seconds!

― purveyor of generations (in orbit)

he was some suited City type so maybe not v reactionary. I think the combination of sheer weirdness of some guy just holding yr hand apropos nothing/busy train/me jumping about a foot backwards when I realised said everything that needed to said about the situation. :/

Names are the worst for me. I've just started in a new office (hence I can post to ILX and not do my job instead of lurking!) of about twenty people and I only remember my boss and the receptionists name. Why can't you make them stick?

insert witticism here (hypehat), Thursday, 20 September 2012 09:05 (eleven years ago) link

I often blank people accidentally, due to a combination of being short-sighted, getting a kind of nervous/hurried tunnel vision when I'm trying to get somewhere

Argh yes this, thats one reason why I didnt spot the boy, I was just in this "well hes not here yet" zone and didnt even scan the room. I've also been accused of blanking ppl before when I had no idea I'd done so. I enf up thinking I'm all like:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8300000/Fran-black-books-8377083-516-296.jpg

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 20 September 2012 09:22 (eleven years ago) link

ah crap wrong tag. well anyway.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 20 September 2012 09:22 (eleven years ago) link

Lovely italics, though.

nickn, Thursday, 20 September 2012 16:22 (eleven years ago) link

I get terrible anxiety when I have to meet someone in a public place, for the same reasons as a passing spacecadet. Like if I have to meet people in a restaurant and they are seated before I get there, I'm just terrified I'm going to get way too close to a table of strangers before I realize they are not my friends.

Recently I've been playing softball with my friends at a park where you have to walk across a big field before you get to the three baseball diamonds. Sometimes more than one of the diamonds is occupied, and I'm walking across the field hauling a bucket of balls and two bats (which somehow makes me feel even more ridiculous in this situation), and at some point you really have to commit to which of the three diamonds you are walking towards, but at that point I am almost never certain which group of people are my friends. Sometimes I'll get really close and start feeling really confident and then the first person who comes into focus will be some complete stranger that one of my friends invited that week, and the interval between seeing him and realizing that I know everyone else there is full of this horrible sinking sensation...

cwkiii, Thursday, 20 September 2012 17:06 (eleven years ago) link

Just walking towards people who can see you from a long distance away is enough to induce self-consciousness, and you end up doing those little bursts of jogging that don't actually make you go any faster but at least make it look as though you're putting in some effort: having to do it with a big weight dragging behind you would be much worse.

computers are the new "cool tool" (James Morrison), Thursday, 20 September 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.