Sex Droughts

I've almost always had sex sober. Being drunk makes me too drowsy most of the time.

Realisation that this is no longer a sex drought. I really am never going to have sex again. :-(

city.craigslist.org

Given that I have just come home from a date with a person I am really attracted to, and p much ran away from, I fail to see how meeting crepey strangers is going to help.

Don't run away next time!

Yeah, I think we've zeroed in on at least one problem.

Guh, sorry wcc. The conflicts between upstairs and downstairs suck. And sometimes parts in the middle get involved to make matters worse.

Sober sex is great but really difficult when I don't have an emotional connection with the other person. There were times when I thought I had E.D. b/c there was absolutely no stirring even though I was with a cute guy and dying of horniness, but I didn't care about him. I haven't had a real connection in over 10 years, so here and there I've gotten myself sssshhiittayyy enough to trick my heart into believing it was in love long enough for my head and crotch to get some play.

Then I stopped drinking in June and I wondered if that was the end, but and then along came a cloudburst. It's really fucking confusing. The newness of all this is like stuff I felt around age 14 at the first real blast of puberty.

I was afraid of sex for a long time (not so much the act but the *consequences*, ie parental, social, physiological)...never even occurred to me to try it sober almost until I was married. And then a long time to really relax into it. It's much nicer sober, but I def understand how hard it is to get past the anxieties of doing so. :)

Related thread:

How do non-drinkers get laid?

Don't drink, don't smoke – what do you do?
Don't drink, don't smoke – what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside

I was just singing that this morning for completely unrelated reasons.

I never got that subtle innuendo tbh.

http://www.sciencedoubts.com/images/saltflat.jpg
http://www.friedrichs.us/mnf-costa-vultures.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3RWnZoKQ4Vc/T0CIVbxQpYI/AAAAAAAAAS4/8ny-2GFriLU/s1600/cow_skull.jpg

Slowly pushing toward the 1.5 year mark at this point, which becomes simultaneously less and more concerning with each passing day (i.e. I don't know how much I honestly care although I feel like I should).

hey, I know/knew the author of that book up dere

i own a copy of it!

now in its second edition apparently. New cover. I read it about 8 years ago, recall it being useful but don't remember it well. Wasn't fully conscious whilst reading it....

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41ysBMO2jlL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

I never got that subtle innuendo tbh.

― ledge, Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:30 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark

Me neither. What is it?

Are you being serious?

Because that was a joke that flew completely over my head when I was 11 and first heard (and went bonkers for) the song and didn't actually get until I heard the song when I was about 30. And that was the longest payoff ever between hearing a joke and getting the punchline.

The joke is probably on me because everyone else got that joke in 1981 but it took me 20 years. :-/

I may be hopelessly naive but I am also completely serious, what is it then?

"Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do" ::wink wink nudge nudge you must be doing a lot of sexing to make up for the lack of excitement in your life caused by not indulging in intoxicating substances:: kind of subtle innuendo follows.

Huh. I assumed that the subtle innuendo was in the line that followed - that there must be something inside like Labi Siffre.

that's what i kind of assumed but ruled out as being too shit.

Subtle innuendos follow

I was never even able to understand what was being said here. Thanks, ilx!

OK so this is going to sound like I put way too much thought into the matter, but in reality the reasoning that follows just happened in dribs and drabs whenever I have heard this song over decades.

I thought maybe "What do you do?" was the innuendo, but then the word "follow" threw me off - innuendos were to follow, and the lyrics that followed were "must be something inside," which was either really dirty ("something" = a dick "inside" = inside your mouth/s down south) but that seemed too raunchy, so maybe it meant "there must be something - religion, spirituality - inside of the person being addressed that keeps her (or him) from partying, but that didn't answer the question of what the subtle innuendo might be.

In the end I always just went back to figuring the innuendo was that the person didn't drink or smoke, so she must fuck, and apparently I was right.

I wonder if he was trying to pick up on ian mackaye.

This is one of those great songs that for whatever reason I haven't heard in over ten years. I never listened closely to the lyrics; I assumed he was just mocking some girl who lived a dull life. I only now realize he's singing about himself and asserting to would-be interviewers that you can have a good time even without alcohol or drugs, maybe along with a general rant about how rock stars are so often portrayed as overly hedonistic boozers druggies.

removed from the "I must respond to how I am portrayed in the PRESS!!" part of Adam's schtick, which was a big part of his schtick, this song does seem a little "what is he talking about," but it seemed quite clear at the time

just watched the video for the first time - it spells it all out unambiguously

When I was a very young kid I had an Adam Ant button that I won at a fair. I never heard any Adam Ant until much later in life, so I'd pretend that maybe he sounded like Falco, of whom I was only familiar with "Vienna Calling".

http://netanimations.net/rain-tree-covered-lane-animation.gif

Congrats! I've been holding my own sad little rainfall gif in reserve for *mumble* years at this point, I'm not even sure where it is on my hard drive anymore.

is it a sex drought if it's deliberate? you know you can get laid if you want to but you avoid it for whatever personal reasons.. that's a dam, not a drought, no?

that's global warming

Undammed if you do, dammed if you don't.

I think I'm at least 2/3 dammed, 1/3 bedroughted.

dental dammed if you do

http://www.donaldedavis.com/2003NEW/MERCMOD.jpg

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I've now gone 9 months without any intimate contact and about 4.5 years without having intercourse for longer than initial insertion, having been asked the three times my last girlfriend and I tried to remove it immediately. I like the dam/drought analogy. I think I'm 1/2 dammed, 1/2 droughted. I'm a serial monogamist who's terrified of getting into another bad relationship just for the sake of sex.

Every time I see this thread I go

Sex droughts
isn't it nice
luring disco dollies to a life of vice

Sex drought, isn't it nowt, luring disco dollies to a life of gout...

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, September 21, 2010 9:49 PM (2 years ago)

A girl spilled a drink on me last night. This is officially the most action I have gotten in my entire life. To celebrate I think I will stare at a cubicle wall for nine hours and listen to my neighbor in the cubefarm talk about her kids and then maybe jump off a bridge

I feel that way a lot of the time, too.

http://s3.freefoto.com/images/9907/03/9907_03_19_web.jpg

Maybe? I dunno, it's been a weird night

:-D

Maybe, though? I don't think anything's going to come of it but it's hard to think of a cute girl grinding on my junk to "Dancing With Myself" as anything but a step in the right direction

Also an unexpected text: "I totally support your gender neutrality btw". In a way maybe the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.

:) that's great!

Robyn is always a step in right direction. A chunky-shoed dance step, I like to think.

I didn't know Robyn was covering Billy Idol nowadays

Oh sorry, I heard that title to the tune of "Dancing on my Own"! Haha I don't know the Billy Idol song, I fail at the 80s.