VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

identifying hard with the clumsiness stories

my speciality is, when i am running seriously late, especially if i have to catch a train or something where i can't get away with it, i grab some last-min thing off the shelf and WITHOUT FAIL manage to bring down everything else on the shelf if not the shelf itself

and wires getting tangled up

all the time

wires and cables hate me and want to strangle me. several times i have had to actually claw my headphones away from my throat in public :(

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

I was once at a film symposium at a snooty East Coast college and called security at like 2am when I had lost the key to the dorm room I was staying in. Turned out it was hanging around my neck.

I hope yoru days can be better soon

This thread is really like ILX's Island of Misfit Toys, huh <3

Once at the gym, before those fancy programmable locks were the norm, I locked my locker with a combination lock and thought I was being clever by writing the combo on my shoe. Then I went swimming and came back only to find that OF COURSE the combo had washed off my shoes soooo I had to go to the front desk in my soaking wet swimsuit and ask if someone could come cut a lock off the locker, and the guy said that if the woman who worked in housekeeping had left, I would have to wait until the gym closed (about three hours hence) and the locker room was empty so he could go in and cut the lock himself. Luckily, the woman was still there but by the time she came I had forgotten which locker I had used. Thankfully I guessed correctly.

headphones with cables is one of those 'wtf we just dropped a truck on mars but we can't do xxx' things

You can get wireless headphones!

But sadly only for home use.

yeah, sigh

Another time I was drinking Bud bottles (longnecks) and then ordered a Red Stripe. I picked up the Red Stripe and poured it right into my lap with the bottle a few inches from my mouth because I was used to the opening being farther away than on the stubby necked Red Stripes.

― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e)

Similar with me for coffee. I make about a 3-cup's worth in the morning, and by the bottom of the first cup it's cooled down enough to gulp. Then I pour myself another cup and am good with the new level (no splashing on the face), but forget about the heat, so I take a big swig and scald my mouth. Sometimes it's so hot I have immediately spit it back into the cup. Happens fairly regularly.

"have to immediately..."

God bless the absent minded for tey brought us flubber

i just almost put my teabag in my bowl of soup

the "almost" saves me from being fully absent minded, but this is probably just a warmup

It seems like I forgot to get better from this horrible cold, which added to my forgetting to get milk while shopping.
Wish I could forget I had a job interview tomorrow morning, & another the day after. But I did at least remember to buy a tie.

DId forget the new pair of glasses I was supposed to be picking up in town yesterday. May have been because i suddenly realised what time it was and needed to get to the bus station to pick up a pass then drop out to the shopping area closer to where I live to give somebody a ticket I wasn't going to use.
May also have been thanks to this rotten cold

I always get my headphone cord caught on drawer pulls and corners and doorknobs - I destroyed my first pair of sennheisers that way. it's to the point where I started gently looping the cord into a loose knot to shorten the dangling cord. but even when I do that I'll still get yanked backwards every now and then as I wander around the house.

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

Every. Single. Day.

Think my worst absent minded thing was on a busy Tube, put my hand on what I thought was the rail. Suddenly realised I was holding some other guys hand for ten seconds. ARHG

oh noooo IRL LOLs though

ohhhh no

It seems weird that the guy didn't...say anything? For 10 seconds!

IRL public snortol!

haha. oh man.

i do these kinds of things far too often to remember much, but i do remember one from the other week - i decided to go to the john cage centenary prom, gave myself plenty of time to get ready, had a read of the online programme, headed off with bags of time to spare, had a fine journey there, went to the ticket desk to buy an on-the-day ticket. "that's at the royal albert hall. this is the royal festival hall." oy. i knew where it was, i just somehow managed to autopilot my way through the hour long journey to the rfh. kinda felt like living in a bad sitcom. (luckily for me i had been so efficient with the rest of my day that i still had time to make it to the right place.)

oh yeah I feel that

had a friend from Oz visit years ago, took her to SF to see a new broadway show they were trialling at the Curran. Mr Veg drove us across town from the hotel to the Curran, dropped us off and I went to the will call to collect the tickets only to be told the show was on the following night. I meekly had to call Mr Veg and ask him to come get us. Meanwhile my friend who has known me forever was like LOLOL CLASSIC VG
;_;

One time I got chatting to a friendly German tourist at a bar. I thought it would be a charming and hospitable gesture to buy her and her travelling companion a round of drinks, so we made our way to the bar, where the bartender poured several fancy cocktails, while I fumbled around in my pockets searching for my credit card (I was not a wallet-carrier in those days). To my distress, I couldn't find my card or any money anywhere, which I awkwardly attempted to explain to the bewildered/nascent-scam-sniffing German. I shrugged sheepishly at the bartender while I fumbled around the rest of the bar, at a loss as to where my card could be. I was alone so I couldn't ask any friends to spring for the drinks, and the German's gratitude gradually turned to bitterness as it dawned on her that I wasn't able to pay for the drinks. I avoided eye contact and shamefully pretended as if they weren't there, while the bartender shook his head, scowled, and poured away the drinks as I continued my seemingly vain pretence to save face. How pathetic I felt, when all of a sudden I remembered I hadn't checked my back pocket...

oh no

Last night I arranged to meet my bf at his local. I thought I'd be there before him as he was at the laundrette so I bought a pint, walked into the beergarden, sat down and said hello to one of the regulars.

...not at all noticing or acknowledging my bf already sitting down, 2 tables away, probably wondering why I am blanking him. WTF, me. I am still so embarrased I did that.

http://bite-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/hans-moleman.png

<3

LOL yes, thats also tru.

Not really "absentminded" but re accidental touching on public transport I was on one of the sideways seats on the bus this morning and I fell sideways onto the guy next to me on the backwards-facing seat when the bus stopped suddenly, TWICE.

WTF, no idea what was different this morning vs any other time I've sat there. The second time I thought "fuck this, maybe I'll stand", and it was almost my stop anyway, so I just got up, pressed the button, and stood until my stop. But perhaps someone thought I was so ashamed that I just got off and walked all the way into town.

I often blank people accidentally, due to a combination of being short-sighted, getting a kind of nervous/hurried tunnel vision when I'm trying to get somewhere, and not being good at faces. People from the bf's work have been all "oh I saw your gf at the shops but she ignored me", when I met them once a year ago and can't remember what they look like at all!

It seems weird that the guy didn't...say anything? For 10 seconds!

― purveyor of generations (in orbit)

he was some suited City type so maybe not v reactionary. I think the combination of sheer weirdness of some guy just holding yr hand apropos nothing/busy train/me jumping about a foot backwards when I realised said everything that needed to said about the situation. :/

Names are the worst for me. I've just started in a new office (hence I can post to ILX and not do my job instead of lurking!) of about twenty people and I only remember my boss and the receptionists name. Why can't you make them stick?

I often blank people accidentally, due to a combination of being short-sighted, getting a kind of nervous/hurried tunnel vision when I'm trying to get somewhere

Argh yes this, thats one reason why I didnt spot the boy, I was just in this "well hes not here yet" zone and didnt even scan the room. I've also been accused of blanking ppl before when I had no idea I'd done so. I enf up thinking I'm all like:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8300000/Fran-black-books-8377083-516-296.jpg

ah crap wrong tag. well anyway.

Lovely italics, though.

I get terrible anxiety when I have to meet someone in a public place, for the same reasons as a passing spacecadet. Like if I have to meet people in a restaurant and they are seated before I get there, I'm just terrified I'm going to get way too close to a table of strangers before I realize they are not my friends.

Recently I've been playing softball with my friends at a park where you have to walk across a big field before you get to the three baseball diamonds. Sometimes more than one of the diamonds is occupied, and I'm walking across the field hauling a bucket of balls and two bats (which somehow makes me feel even more ridiculous in this situation), and at some point you really have to commit to which of the three diamonds you are walking towards, but at that point I am almost never certain which group of people are my friends. Sometimes I'll get really close and start feeling really confident and then the first person who comes into focus will be some complete stranger that one of my friends invited that week, and the interval between seeing him and realizing that I know everyone else there is full of this horrible sinking sensation...

Just walking towards people who can see you from a long distance away is enough to induce self-consciousness, and you end up doing those little bursts of jogging that don't actually make you go any faster but at least make it look as though you're putting in some effort: having to do it with a big weight dragging behind you would be much worse.

forgot password, ffs. again. i forget a lot.

requested pwd change, changed it. i'll remember it now!

prompted to login. can't. pwd is wrong. waht?

try again, nope. variations don't work. caps lock isn't on, wasn't on before.

requested another pwd change. ffs.

2nd time this wk. 2 difft sites.

imo nobody should ever be admonished for flubbing or forgetting a password

one day the lord supreme king of devils woke up and said 'FUCK YOU ALL I'M INVENTING PASSWORDS'

Normally park our car in garage overnight. Lately garage has been full so have to park in the driveway. Am horrible at remembering to lock the damn car. The other morning, go to car to discover someone has Been Through It.

Only spare change was taken (as far as we know) but WOW am I a ridiculous flake and in SO MUCH TROUBLE with my husband.

AM: Wake up late b/c I set the alarm to 7:00 pm, so I have to take a cab to work.

PM: On the bus ride home I get an email from a Groupon-like company that screwed up and was offering me a voucher for $10 of take-out food, good tonight only. I say hooray, free dinner! and order an $11 pizza from the place by my house. Right as I hit Submit, I remember that I hadn't entered the discount code. Instead of *free* dinner, I spent $11 unnecessarily.

I wonder if anyone on the bus heard me exclaim what I dumb bitch I am.

I have developed a terrible habit of forgetting to take the filter out of the cofeemaker when I brew coffee. Mr Veg had to have a ~serious talk~ with me about it a few months back. and I've been SO much better! And then...I made a pot of coffee on Sunday morning. And the filter sat in the machine til Monday afternoon when Mr Veg went to make coffee.

;_;

back to square one

stupid brain

In other news, I made myself some popcorn in the microwave today. And for some reason, absent a decent sized bowl it seemed to me that a ziplock back would be a good receptacle. The unpopped kernels melting through the plastic was my first indication that this was a terrible idea.

Jesus christ what is wrong with me. It scares me sometimes, if I'm like this now what am I going to be like when I'm ACTUALLY senile (assuming that I'm not already, lol)

bag not back

bag never come back, bag melt ;)

lol

paper bag popcorn is pretty good though. supposedly you can even staple it shut because the staple is somehow smaller than the wavelength of the microwave or some nonsense but can you trust alton brown who is probably laughing at all the exploded microwaves?

I make paper bag popcorn all the ding dang time! I don staple the bag be aside I'm scared to and also one of those little folder-over self-staple moves keeps it closed fine.

WOW Lookit them thumb-typos.

Paper bag popcorn is exactly what I was doing - <3 it so much

Except I think I put the bag in the wrong side up because half the kernels didn't pop? I think they got trapped in the bottom fold of the bag somehow. Popcorn fail x 2 :(