this is the thread where you copy and paste whatever other posts on ilx made you laugh out loud

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wtfwmoa? hafott!

N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 2 February 2003 00:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

why won't the rolling stones just die?

brg30 (brg30), Sunday, 2 February 2003 01:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I personally am fascinated by ragget music and would welcome more discussion of same on ILM. I think a lot of us are more enamored of "roots" or "lovers" style ragget than the "slack" dancehall ragget that is more prominent in recent years -- perhaps that's why ragget doesn't get as much mention here as it might...

-- briania (lyriclash@hotmail.com), May 14th, 2002.
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My head hurts. Entertainingly, I have to say.

-- Ned Raggett (ned@kuci.org), May 14th, 2002.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 2 February 2003 01:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

aPHEx tWIx: I want your caramel. I will eat your crunchy wafer cookie. And I would like some milk chocolate ice cream from the milk chocolate ice cream man's wife's tits.

-- donut bitch (do...), November 28th, 2002.

Curtis Stephens, Sunday, 2 February 2003 02:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK Jess, THAT'S ENOUGH. FUCKING LAY OFF NATHALIE NOW. THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER.
I've given you a very easy ride on this issue so far but no more. You want to make a mess of your life, to make an enemy of everyone else on this planet, then go ahead - just go and do it somewhere else.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarlin@hotmail.com), October 16th, 2002

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), February 1st, 2003 8:17 PM.

gareth (gareth), Sunday, 2 February 2003 02:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK Jess, THAT'S ENOUGH. FUCKING LAY OFF NATHALIE NOW. THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER.
I've given you a very easy ride on this issue so far but no more. You want to make a mess of your life, to make an enemy of everyone else on this planet, then go ahead - just go and do it somewhere else.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarlin@hotmail.com), October 16th, 2002

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), February 1st, 2003 8:17 PM.

-- gareth (gareth@norfolkwindmills.com), Today 6:28 PM.

couldn't resist (ron), Sunday, 2 February 2003 06:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK Jess, THAT'S ENOUGH. FUCKING LAY OFF NATHALIE NOW. THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER.
I've given you a very easy ride on this issue so far but no more. You want to make a mess of your life, to make an enemy of everyone else on this planet, then go ahead - just go and do it somewhere else.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarlin@hotmail.com), October 16th, 2002

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), February 1st, 2003 8:17 PM.

-- gareth (gareth@norfolkwindmills.com), Today 6:28 PM.

-- couldn't resist (ohronny@juno.com) (webmail), February 2nd, 2003 5:11 AM. (ron) (link)


i did resist til ron pushed me over the edge! (minna), Sunday, 2 February 2003 06:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

(((((((M1NN4))))))

ron (ron), Sunday, 2 February 2003 06:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

"you betrayed his weretrust"

i'm sorry ron so sorry!!! (minna), Sunday, 2 February 2003 06:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

about what i'm just giving you hugglelz i dont have cooties oh wait yes i do *scratch*

ron (ron), Sunday, 2 February 2003 06:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

:) (i didn't understand, all those parentheses looked like an echoing boom of wrath! hugs 4 you too ron cooties or no!)

minna (minna), Sunday, 2 February 2003 07:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

eg. ((((SKINNER!!))))

minna (minna), Sunday, 2 February 2003 07:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ronan909: alex in nyc looks exactly as i imagined he would
Dubplatestyle: doesnt he, ronan?
Ronan909: kinda like a rockcrit chuck norris
Ronan909: Walker Texas Reviewer

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), January 31st, 2003.
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(ILE, Open this up and paste whatever is on your clipboard right now)

jot eff pe (Wintermute), Sunday, 2 February 2003 09:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK Jess, THAT'S ENOUGH. FUCKING LAY OFF NATHALIE NOW. THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER.
I've given you a very easy ride on this issue so far but no more. You want to make a mess of your life, to make an enemy of everyone else on this planet, then go ahead - just go and do it somewhere else.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarlin@hotmail.com), October 16th, 2002
-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), February 1st, 2003 8:17 PM.

-- gareth (gareth@norfolkwindmills.com), Today 6:28 PM.

-- couldn't resist (ohronny@juno.com) (webmail), February 2nd, 2003 5:11 AM. (ron) (link)


-- i did resist til ron pushed me over the edge! (girl_thursday@hotmail.com), February 2nd, 2003 6:14 AM.

gareth (gareth), Sunday, 2 February 2003 09:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ageing legend ROBERT JOHNSON is still fit as a fiddle in 2003, an amazing 92 years after he was born. The pioneering blues, funk, techno and screengazer musician is also wowing the critics with his new album "Time means nothing to Mum-Ra", an eclectic collection of personal meditations on the Second World War. Guests include Thom Yorke, Princess Superstar and Dan the Automator.
-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk) (webmail), February 2nd, 2003 1:23 PM

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 2 February 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

(so much so, in fact, that it woke nancy up and she's mad at me.)

jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 2 February 2003 15:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

SOMEONE MATCH UP gORBACHEV AND LUCY LUI

-- Mike Hanle y (Pennysong@japan.com), February 1st, 2002.
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Why don't you, Bossy McBossface?

-- Ally (garance80@yahoo.com), February 1st, 2002.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 2 February 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

''the flaming lips' cover of 'can't get you out of my head'; totally takes like a throwaway fake pop song maaaaan and makes it OK for dullard schmindie rox0rists to enjoy and understand the REAL DEEP MEANING OF THE LYRICS MAAAAN
fuck off

-- gi66y ($$$@k.com), January 28th, 2003.''

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 2 February 2003 21:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

I can't find where g gossett writes rather obliquely about new order!

spectra, Monday, 3 February 2003 04:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I actually made this list. Amazing.

jm (jtm), Monday, 3 February 2003 06:24 (twenty-one years ago) link


would anyboy like to go to IKEA?
I Love Everything | New Answers | Unanswered Questions | Ask A Question ilXor.com | >ILM
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i need a desk

-- gareth (gareth@norfolkwindmills.com), November 11th, 2002.

Answers

or, indeed, anygirl? hahah

-- gareth (gareth@norfolkwindmills.com), November 11th, 2002.

felicity (felicity), Monday, 3 February 2003 08:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Male circumcision.

Excellent cartoon in a jewish mag, Moses on top of Arafat: "You want us to cut off the end of our dicks?"

-- stevo

arafat?

-- mark s

oh fuck

-- stevo

zemko (bob), Monday, 3 February 2003 08:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha so "influence does not exist" when it comes to fans eh julio? yet another mysterious dimension toi this extraordinary magical-mystical concept, which is used to mean whatever its users want it to mean completely at random
-- mark s (mark@...), July 6th, 2002.

"Hast seen the White Whale?"

-- John Darnielle (editor@...), July 6th, 2002.

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Monday, 3 February 2003 09:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

From the ILM thread : 'why does black people never want to rock?'


lando calrissian had a solo recording career and he rocked like fuck
-- bob snoom, July 25th, 2002.

I sure hope you mean Billy Dee Williams and not some freako who THINKS he really IS Lando Calrissian.
-- Lord Custos III, July 26th, 2002.

Are you kidding, Lord Custos? I really fucking hope it's the freak!
-- Ned Raggett, July 26th, 2002.

this is my favorite ned post ever
-- Josh, July 26th, 2002.

Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Monday, 3 February 2003 11:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

...if I like something, I'm most passionate about it, as you'll find out. I'm equally as passionate about things I hate, too. Again, as you'll discover.
Hometime, for me, signalled the return of, IMO, Britain's finest living voice, who had emerged from a record company-enforced exile (Sony told her if she wouldn't write and record another hit album with a team of boyband producers, they wouldn't release anything she made. They didn't. And refused to release her from her contract for 8 years) with a classic record. So, yes, I'm passionate about it. But no, I have no vested interest in it.

And Bristol, like it or not, constantly breeds exciting, new acts ... for the past decade, all the most challenging, interesting new music has emerged from Bristol - Goldfrapp, Massive Attack, Tricky, Portishead, Alpha, Kosheen, Roni Size, Way Out West.... and those are just the ones who sell records.

I live in Bristol, but I'm Welsh - and the same can hardly be said for there! In a world of Stereochronics and Manic Street Screechers, thank God for Shaky and Bonnie, I say.....

-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.


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russ, cool, yr passionate - we all are, that's why we're here. it's just yr condescending posting-style put my back up. i disagree that "all the most challenging, interesting new music has emerged from bristol" a claim that is, frankly, bizarre and yr list backs me up more than it does you. so we disagree, but that's fine - people disagree, "as you'll discover". welcome to ilm anyway.
-- michael wells (wellsmj1@hotmail.com), January 14th, 2003.


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Michael -
i can only presume you haven't heard the Goldfrapp album and leave it at that. Absolutely enough said.
What, in your opinion, constitutes challenging,interesting, enjoyable music? And do you honestly dsislike every act I have named in the list in my post?
-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

I read this as "pterodactyl Vs Man Utd." which I would pay good money to see.

-- Mark C (boyincorduroy@yahoo.com), February 3rd, 2003.

jot eff pe (Wintermute), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thank God Britain's finest voice, Alison Moyet, has been nominated. And thank God her 'Hometime' album will receive further recognition.
There is a God.

But of course, vile Dynami-tee-hee (she really IS only 4 years old, isn't she?) will scoop it. Unfortunately.

-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.


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bog off Grandad ;)
-- stevem (blueski@base58.com), January 14th, 2003.


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Up your 'ole, kiddy. Hometime's a remarkable record - recorded with Bristol's finest in the Massive studios, with assorted members of Goldfrapp, Portishead, Spiritualized - shame age restricts your perception of music. (how old is Sasha? Nick Warren? Tiesto? Teaglia? Vasquez? Are these irrelevant because of their advancing years?)
Stevem... the Brits always cock up the dance award, anyway.... after all, where is Way Out West in this year's nominations - surely eligible and worthy.

Sugababes and Jamiroquai? Where are these people going to dance? Wedding discos?

-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Michael Wells...at the risk of sounding, err... 'unnecessarily creepy' (?eh?) I suggest a listen to 'Hometime'. It's a lovely eye opener.
Unfortunately, Dynamite will win the female award. Hype from a major label is a great tool. The album, though, stinks to high heaven. Excruciating.
I'm appalled Richard Ashcroft didn't get nominated, almost as appalled by the fact that David Gray (by name and nature) DID. Can he ever be forgiven for his flat, dull 'Say hello wave goodbye'? Glass coffee table suburban office worker music.
-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.

Are you talking about Ashcroft or Gray here?
-- Matt DC (runmdc@graffiti.net), January 14th, 2003.

Definitely Gray. Ashcroft can still craft and interpret a classic song. And not make it sound generic. Unlike, imo, Gray.
-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 14th, 2003.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dull...well, it's not really a word that can be associated with Goldfrapp really, is it?

-- russ t (russ.thomas@bt.com), January 16th, 2003.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

"What kind of mentalist would you have to be if you pulled the flush at the wrong time? Surely any fool knows when to flush the toilet?
-- Emma (emmaluvscake@yahoo.co.uk), February 14th, 2002.

ACTUALLY EMMA IF YOU READ THE LINK i POSTED AWHILE A GO, A SWEDISH FLYER FLUSHED AT THE WRONG TIME AND WAS VACUUM SUCKED ONTO THE TOILET AND HAD TO BE REMOVED BY FIREMAN
-- Mike Hanle y (Pennysong@japan.com), February 14th, 2002."

Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 3 February 2003 12:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

I once fell into my laundry basket (in true cartoon style - bum in, knees to chest, feet dangling out) while doing this in my bedroom.
-- Kim (grimstitch@hotmail.com), Yesterday 7:52 PM. (Kim)

smee (smee), Monday, 3 February 2003 13:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

This made me laugh out loud:

Where can on epurchase Orange Juice Cd s ? I can find none anywhere

-- mike hanle y (pennysong@japan.com), May 28, 2002

Answers
That's funny cause my local 2nd hand record shop won't take my 'You Can't Hide Your Love Forever'/'Orange Juice' two-fer fer love nor money. Actually I didn't offer him love.

-- N. (nickdastoor@hotmail.com), May 28, 2002.

hmm, perhaps some sort of CD swap is in order?

-- Alan T (Alan.Trewartha@harpercollins.co.uk), May 28, 2002.

He would probably send me a bag of ants.

-- N. (nickdastoor@hotmail.com), May 28, 2002.

No, anal bats.

-- Ned Raggett (ned@kuci.org), May 28, 2002.

Richard Jones (scarne), Monday, 3 February 2003 13:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

has there been an outbreak of people masturbating with snakes?
-- Queen G (effexxo...), December 30th, 2002.

erik, Monday, 3 February 2003 13:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've never seen Erik's smee. (Sorry.)
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 30th, 2003.

erik, Monday, 3 February 2003 13:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.choppersbar.com/bsr/glowcat.gif

-- jot eff pe (at least, that's the most recent post I've found)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 February 2003 14:33 (twenty-one years ago) link


I just watched the women's freestyle skiing event (which looks very difficult). The cute canadian girl with buck teeth should have won by far (she came fourth) - she qualified really early so the judges gave her a good score but not as good as she deserved so they could 'make room' for the later-running top qualifiers.....still, it pissed me off....some corny norwegian girl with a big burger king forehead won instead. So let's talk Olympians I wanna fuck.... In the same event, #1 american qualifier was Hannah Hardaway. Let me tell you, that's a bad pic but trust me this girl has got the most adorable face and the BUBBLICIOUS ASS. I mean ideal thickness: tall, 140 cornfed pounds in all the right places, dig?...not dumpy thick wit da manly witch-face like most athlete ATHLETE chix...I'm talking cute thick....like the drummer girl from the WHite Stripes...bomb diggity with big tiggities....let me drink the milk out them shits ya monkey....I swear, that's all I need in life, babyface hoosier athlete dame with SIr-Mix-A-Lot booty on my jock, hard funky beats every Friday at parties with familiar hairdos, intermittent Chinese food, daily Tony Hawk Proskater 3.....I'm set. Word to muff.....put on some makeup for once in your life girl, bring that fat ass over here and hop on my Wooooo00000000ooooo!!!!

-- Ramosi, Red Beans & Rice Mothafokka!! (olafsonskid@aol.com), February 8th, 2002.

jm (jtm), Monday, 3 February 2003 20:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

yEP THATS MY NAME DON'T WERE IT OUT!
-- conner Smedley (conner660@earthlink.net), February 1st, 2003.

lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Monday, 3 February 2003 20:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

fun ain't what it used to be
-- forbidden or obsolete (space-dust@webmail.visp.co.nz), Today 3:58 PM. (24 hour troubleshooter)

yeah it used to be fun
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6@mail.dcu.ie), Today 4:17 PM. (Ronan)

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 February 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

what is it with this board and beets??
-- mark s (mar...), November 12th, 2002.


mark s, didn't anybody ever tell you about "the boards and the beets"?
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), November 11th, 2002.

Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

how did felicity go back in time to made that (very funny) joke?

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's magic mitch, don't question it.

jel -- (jel), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

magic = flux capacitor

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nonono magic = reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.< /DrWhoGeek>

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

I did not struggle and then I decided that in fact I was having a terrible enormous bout of gushing diahorrea. And *then* I thought, no, it's not that either - it's just the cat has got in my room and is on my chest. Finally, I discovered that it was all in my head.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

gareth's lust for neckwear will destroy us all, mark my words.

-- felicity (felicityredwell@yahoo.com), February 3rd, 2003.

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 February 2003 22:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Also Nick, I am literally fucking offended that you think I'd casually refer to women as "the ultra-skinnies" and then suggest appropriate bra colors. ("For the ultra-fatties I suggest a light mauve.")

-- nabisco (---@notmail.com), February 3rd, 2003 11:18 PM.

gareth (gareth), Monday, 3 February 2003 23:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

martian perhaps you cd (post) a list of the records that came out this year for marcello to choose from?
-- mark s (mark@evazev.demon.co.uk), September 20th, 2002.

dan (dan), Monday, 3 February 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

You come home from work to find that the cat has been shut in the wardrobe all day. Do you:

1) Let her out and check what if any damage she did in there?
2) Go to the computer and ask posters on your favorite bulletin board what happened?

-- j.lu (flavia@nme.com), Yesterday 11:52 PM.
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More than likely, I would say.

-- Nicole (nicolew15@hotmail.com), Yesterday 11:54 PM.
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should i post the gif of the cat doing the piss dance?

-- Tad (llamasfur@hotmail.com), Today 12:06 AM.
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Why not? It's probably the only cat picture that has never been posted to ile.

-- Nicole (nicolew15@hotmail.com), Today 12:07 AM.
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You come home from work to find that the cat has been shut in the wardrobe all day. Do you:

1) Let her out and check what if any damage she did in there?
2) Go to the computer and ask posters on your favorite bulletin board what happened?

Best Choose Your Own Adventure book yet?

-- Ned Raggett (ned@kuci.org), Today 12:09 AM.

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 00:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

I Was There
At Altamont Speedway In 1969
But I'm Losing My Touch
To Biker Dudes
With Bigger Sticks
And Better Drugs
But Who Are Actually Really Nice

-- brainliner (bl@bl.com), February 3rd, 2003.

Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 02:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

'can you really list your ten favorite albums?'

Led Zeppelin I
Led Zeppelin II
Led Zeppelin III
Led Zeppelin IV
Led Zeppelin V
Led Zeppelin VI
Led Zeppelin VII
Led Zeppelin VIII
Led Zeppelin IX
Coverdale/Page

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewel@excite.com), September 20, 2002
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you fucking liar...there's no coverdale/page album.

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com), September 20th, 2002
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You need to go back to rock n roll school son!

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewel@excite.com), September 20th, 2002
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Behold - http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=A995s8qnnbtx4

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewel@excite.com), September 20th, 2002
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james blount, will you marry me?

-- jess (dubplatestyle@hotmail.com) (webmail), September 20th, 2002

geeta (geeta), Tuesday, 4 February 2003 07:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Double Idito Stevem, little did he know what he spawned when he started this nonsense.

Pete (Pete), Monday, 5 January 2004 16:24 (twenty years ago) link

Idito Ptee

stevem (blueski), Monday, 5 January 2004 17:04 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...
Bollocks

twat, Monday, 16 February 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...
Is this where Excelsior started? The 'quaint' title. It's just like finding a very old copy of Radio Times!

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 08:37 (twenty years ago) link

three years pass...

and i DO mean LAUGH

hopefully this could blossom into an invaluable memento of mirth for all mankind (author credit optional)

go

-- stevem (blueski), Friday, January 31, 2003 7:59 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

did this happen?

Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 16 March 2008 05:53 (sixteen years ago) link

I think this eventually mutated into the primaries thread

The Reverend, Sunday, 16 March 2008 06:19 (sixteen years ago) link

I never knew stevem started the whole excelsior thing!

roxymuzak, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:36 (sixteen years ago) link

this was the next one: this is the ALL NEW thread where you copy and paste the posts that made you laugh out loud

max, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:43 (sixteen years ago) link

steve uses excelsior in the first post of that one

max, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:43 (sixteen years ago) link

third excelsior thread, first to use excelsior in the title: i can't believe its another 'posts that made you laugh out loud' compendium thread, excelsior yadda yadda

max, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Regarding Grooverider being convicted:

apparently his lawyers are seeking a rewind

-- Ronan, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 7:12 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

mehlt, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:50 (sixteen years ago) link

lol

Pinefox I am in a frenzy of creativity as you type.
-- Tom (ebro...), February 14th, 2003.
Wanking at Tatu does not count as creativity, Tom.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 14th, 2003.

Ste, Monday, 17 March 2008 13:46 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

things are so much funnier in context though

― Maria (Maria), Friday, January 31, 2003 8:22 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 3 March 2009 22:55 (fifteen years ago) link


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