VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

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sucks

the oft-posited third fisherman (darraghmac), Monday, 22 October 2012 12:47 (eleven years ago) link

how the fuck do you become a responsible, organised adult? how? just learned that i've apparently not paid any national insurance contributions for three years. i don't know how that happened

Lex if its anything like it is in Aus (ie superannuation or a health fund thing), isnt the company you work for meant to help organise paying into a fund? Like how they take out income tax? I'd have no clue how much money was going into mine, I trust my payroll ppl to be doing it!

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 22 October 2012 21:08 (eleven years ago) link

Lex, aren't you a freelancer? Did you perchance start freelancing three years ago? I imagine it's like any other taxes - if you're self-employed, you are responsible for paying all the taxes/mandatory contributions yourself since you do not have an employer that would withhold those things from your check.

carl agatha, Monday, 22 October 2012 21:12 (eleven years ago) link

Have you paid any tax the last three years, lex? That might be a bigger matter.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 22 October 2012 21:22 (eleven years ago) link

Last night I putt a cigarette behind my ear so i could go outside and smoke it. In getting ready I looked down to grab my tea and it falls into it. Plus side: leave it to dry, tea-flavored cigeracchi.

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:29 (eleven years ago) link

i've been paying $thousands per year in tax because i have a savings account

wait... what?

set the controls for the arse of your mum (sic), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:55 (eleven years ago) link

Lex, shouldn't an accountant be handling the tax BS for you? I've heard it's that a freelancer's taxes are an unpleasant matter. It was terrible enough doing my taxes when I was a waiter that I gladly hired someone (who saved me a thousand or two a year).

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 04:27 (eleven years ago) link

My contribution to the the thread's topic: tonight was the second time I tried to unlock the door of the apartment 1 floor below mine. The elevator stopped at the wrong floor and I auto-piloted to the door while reading mail. I hollered "Sorry sorry sorry!" and ran to the stairwell. Poor Unit 505 - I would pee my pants if someone came rattling at my door unexpectedly.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 04:30 (eleven years ago) link

I signed up to staff an Election Day voter hotline again this year, which requires a training, which is fine bc it's been four years and I don't remember how it works.

So I'm at the training right now and they are talking about field volunteers a lot and hotline volunteers not at all, which seemed weird until I doubled checked the calendar apt and realized I signed up for the wrong thing. This is after I very carefully disregarded two other training sessions bc they were for field volunteers.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 24 October 2012 14:36 (eleven years ago) link

this is a typical VG tl:dr story but w/e it's my thread, lol

Our office has these end of the month parties, usually with a theme of some kind. The Halloween end of month party usually coincides with the office Halloween costume festivities. So I have my thing planned out, not so much for the competition but just bc I'm a dorky nerd who likes to dress up now and then, and I like futzing around with stage makeup and whatnot.

So I've had it in my head that tomorrow is the costume contest, because the end of month party is tomorrow. They gave us all a free lunchtime creative thing to do this week, where we all take a sheet and make a 'ghost' costume. I wasn't in the office yesterday so they let me do mine this afternoon. So I made my ghost and all the while I'm thinking, well that's kind of weird that they'd make everyone put sheets over their heads when half the people will be dressed up in costumes. So I cut a hole for my head bcs I'd be in makeup, and I tried to theme my ghost-sheet a little bit around my planned costume.

I came back to my desk and mentioned to my coworker my same thought, about why they would have everyone covered in sheets when ppl will be in Halloween costume.
He looked at me funny and said 'Dude, the halloween costume thing is next Wednesday. Tomorrow's just the end of month party.' And I was all, 'But they always have the two combined!' And I quickly looked on our intranet page and lo and behold...the costume contest is on Wednesday.

If I had not had that conversation I would have gone to work tomorrow in costume. Like, I already had mentally figured out what time to set my alarm to put everything together. And I quickly ran back upstairs to re-doctor my ghost sheet and remove any traces of 'thematic' elements tied to my halloween costume, lol.

Holy fuck, talk about a close call. That could have been SO bad.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 02:52 (eleven years ago) link

^lol VG

My life is littered with events like this; the latest just this afternoon.

Today I left my car parked near downtown Boston with one of the rear doors wide -and I mean wide- open, for two hours. I found this out when I left my office to go home, and from a full block away I saw that rear door sticking way out like an elephant ear into the cityscape. I broke into a run because, in addition to the usual glove compartment goodies, my car was stuffed full of stuff including: CDs up the wazoo, change of clothes, about a dozen library books, flyfishing gear (3 rods, 3 reels, etc), and a pop of the trunk would have revealed a bunch of rockclimbing crap, such as a bouldering mat, shoes & chalk. Worst of all, I had left, in the backseat, the back cover of a magazine from my childhood, featuring a watercolor I had submitted to them as an 8 yr old, and which I had long ago given up for lost until my mother dug it out of an old chest and had it framed. So basically I left all this stuff out there for display, just airing out in the gentle Indian Summer breeze.

Lo and behold, when I got to the car I found everything was exactly as I had left it. Nobody had even rustled it, it appeared.

I felt huge relief and gratitude and momentary love of humankind, of course, but also, weirdly, a slight twinge of, I dunno, quasi-adolescent forlornness? I mean, nobody wanted any of my crap? I can understand, ok, who the hell needs a pair of smelly climbing shoes, a kid's watercolor (faded), or a bunch of brick-heavy philosophy books, but you'd think maybe someone would have snatched the Zizek at least, no?

collardio gelatinous, Friday, 26 October 2012 03:40 (eleven years ago) link

I sewed a button onto a pair of combats yesterday - it was the just-above-the-fly one, which has previously popped off (yeah, I know). Anyway, sewed the button, job done, put on the combats, walk around for a bit going "mmm, trousers".

Then I returned to the desk and went to put away the needle and thread, and realised that the needle's gone missing - it's from a set of six, and the others are all there. I get a little worried because, well, because needle, and also because of specific fear that it'll wait until I'm down on the floor looking for one of the other things that I tend to knock over, and as soon as I think it's a good idea to actually get down to eye-level - boom! needle in the eye.

So I look around for a bit and I can't find it, and I can't find it, and then I think to do the "Sir, where is the last place you remember seeing the object in question", and I realise that I can't remember cutting the thread. And sure enough, there was the needle still at the end of the thread, "safely" nestling next to my junk.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 26 October 2012 09:54 (eleven years ago) link

whoa

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 16:13 (eleven years ago) link

also thank you for putting the 'boom! needle in the eye' imagery in my head, I had never thought of that before EEEUGGGGHHH!!!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 16:14 (eleven years ago) link

Oh shit sorry, dude! Damage-to-eye is a whole horror motif and all!

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 26 October 2012 16:41 (eleven years ago) link

Usually junk is supposed to go in the needle, not the other way around.

ILX until I die (snoball), Friday, 26 October 2012 17:10 (eleven years ago) link

lol

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 18:04 (eleven years ago) link

this doesn't really qualify as absent-minded, just um...dim? and kinda silly really. I didn't know where else to put it.

My coworker told me of a white bean soup that his wife makes that's really good, and I asked him to bring me the recipe.
I was reading through it and I got confused. I looked over at him and I said, "This says it's for navy beans?"
He said, yeah, white beans. "Okay, cool thanks!" But I was still confused a little bit.

Later when I was telling Mr Veg he looked at me with a smirk and said, "You thought navy beans were blue, didn't you."

"Yes." was my meek reply. Mr Veg said, "Navy as in boats, not Navy as in the color, silly."

True story.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 October 2012 03:01 (eleven years ago) link

NOW I get it.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 October 2012 03:02 (eleven years ago) link

Well but I mean red beans, black beans, white beans so why wouldn't you think blue beans? Ego te absolvo.

carl agatha, Saturday, 27 October 2012 03:04 (eleven years ago) link

Er... I was also under the impression... *takes notes*

ljubljana, Saturday, 27 October 2012 03:09 (eleven years ago) link

I knew I created this thread for a reason <3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 October 2012 03:59 (eleven years ago) link

I had never heard of navy beans til now!

OMG why can't I ever be on time? I tried so hard to be punctual today. End up running on to the platform just as the last possible train that would've got me to the next station on time was pulling out. Would've made it if I hadn't had to go back for my coat. The sad thing is I was aiming for half an hour before the second train left just in case and aaarghhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyy, whyyyyyyy

lex pretend, Saturday, 27 October 2012 14:24 (eleven years ago) link

Today, running errands on a busy street: I got into the driver's seat, but not before leaving a half-full can of coke on roof of car. I drove six blocks when I was alerted by a sliding sound overhead. I clicked on the hazard lights, rolled to a stop, and got out to look. The can stood, three inches from the rear edge of the roof, upright and still half-full.

collardio gelatinous, Saturday, 27 October 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link

*applause*

lex, you have all my sympathy. tis a mighty struggle

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 October 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link

Nippy here yesterday, felt pretty cold in the flat. So I put on the heating for a short while. woke up this morning lay in bed reading Neil Young for a while. Eventually got up and you could feel something strange in the air. At which I realised that I'd forgotten to turn the heat back off. So been on for 12+ hours, not sure exactly when I put it on either.

Well at least I can have a bath this morning I guess.

Stevolende, Monday, 29 October 2012 10:57 (eleven years ago) link

pretty sure that's normal behaviour for a whole lot of people. arseholeish, but normal.

itt: 'splaining men (ledge), Monday, 29 October 2012 11:03 (eleven years ago) link

arseholish?
are you talking about shared accomodation? I'm the billpayer.
would probably only have the thing on for as long during the space of about a week. Just forgot I put it on so will have to put it on timed if I do again.

Stevolende, Monday, 29 October 2012 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

i'm thinking 'bout the planet, maaaaaan.

itt: 'splaining men (ledge), Monday, 29 October 2012 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

the "it's winter, let's put the heating on 24/7 so i can still walk round in a t-shirt" school of thought.

itt: 'splaining men (ledge), Monday, 29 October 2012 14:42 (eleven years ago) link

I think turning the heat up a bit when you're cold is not necessarily an arseholish thing. Or at least not so much that we need to insult Stevo here, since he was obviously upset with himself/embarassed to have done so!
I cannot control my heat so I am forced to put on thicker socks, etc. Luckily my building is rarely chilly.

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 29 October 2012 14:44 (eleven years ago) link

ok yeah i wasn't call steve an arsehole! only criticising people who do that on the reg.

itt: 'splaining men (ledge), Monday, 29 October 2012 14:47 (eleven years ago) link

ah, good stuff. Sorry I guess I am in 'Mother Hen' mode this morning :) Carry on, scatter brains!

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 29 October 2012 14:52 (eleven years ago) link

I learned why one puts certain things in a blender vs a food processor last night.

"Oh riiight when there's that much liquid it just spills out the top and alll over the counter. Right. Got it."

fuck
my
life

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 October 2012 15:38 (eleven years ago) link

I cannot control my heat so I am forced to put on thicker socks, etc. open the window when it's 10°F (-12° C) out. This has been discussed in another thread somewhere, I know. Anyway, such is life for many thousands of Chicagoans - I'm guessing New Yorkers, too.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Thursday, 1 November 2012 05:26 (eleven years ago) link

I miss radiator heat.

Jeff, Thursday, 1 November 2012 11:32 (eleven years ago) link

So much quieter...

carl agatha, Thursday, 1 November 2012 12:23 (eleven years ago) link

We are packing to leave for a job. It came time to collect and pack glassware and I have been going crazy all night looking for my much treasured, vintage, 1950's looking, little glass pitcher that I bought for $5 while on the first job. Really took the edge off the election to focus on this.

I always, ALWAYS pack glassware last. It was right there on the shelf like two days ago! I figured it broke and someone didn't want to tell me. Finally I pressured J. to just come out with it, even made it easy on him throwing out the different scenarios. He kept saying he didn't break it or misplace it then would laugh. So he did it!

I suddenly remembered, I packed it first , days ago, and placed it with a bunch of kitchen utensils in a box. Very half-assed packing job and grouping too, no wonder I forgot. I am losing my mind. I feel crazy, gaslighting myself.

*tera, Wednesday, 7 November 2012 05:18 (eleven years ago) link

I cannot control my heat so I am forced to put on thicker socks, etc. open the window when it's 10°F (-12° C) out. This has been discussed in another thread somewhere, I know. Anyway, such is life for many thousands of Chicagoans - I'm guessing New Yorkers, too.

― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Thursday, November 1, 2012 5:26 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Summertime's a problem here with that, the apartment was designed with very poor ventilation. Just a door to the balcony (a triangle with sides of about 10ft) in the main room and no actual windows. So staying cool in the front room is a pain. Just tends to overheat heavily.

In wintertime I tend to wear a thermal fleece most of the time. Just got heating coming on a couple of hours per day. Have been known to sit under a blanket too. Just didn't want to set the timer to go off after an hour from when I put it on & thought I'd turn it off shortly then forgot it was on.

Stevolende, Wednesday, 7 November 2012 06:54 (eleven years ago) link

What the fuck was my post supposed to mean?? Put on thicker socks?

What I was trying to say is that in the winter time my apartment is really hot and I have to open a window to stay comfortable. This is a not-uncommon thing here.

I don't know why I said anything about putting on thicker socks since I the very idea of wearing socks - or any footwear - indoors is repellent to me.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Monday, 12 November 2012 05:19 (eleven years ago) link

Oh I get it - "put on thicker socks" was part of FFM's post that I quoted and struck through and replaced w/ "open a window" etc. Never mind. I thought I had lost my mind or told a lie.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Monday, 12 November 2012 05:22 (eleven years ago) link

Set the timer for the rice. It went off and I remembered registering the thought, "oh, the rice is done, time to turn the element off." But I somehow got distracted by something en route to the stove and forgot about it.

emilys., Monday, 12 November 2012 07:26 (eleven years ago) link

Ive set fire to several bins by punting an ashtray into them with still-glowing cig butts. But I think thats less ansentmindedness and more drunkenness, heh :/

Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 12 November 2012 07:57 (eleven years ago) link

I can't believe Underwriters Laboratories or whatever safety authority is OK with rice cookers potentially staying on forever.

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 00:15 (eleven years ago) link

Hadn't seen this thread.

My dad instilled me with a lot of neuroses about travel. I used to get so wound up by hi. Counting bags and people before we moved off but I find myself doing the same thing. More than once I've left an item of clothing behind. Most recently I left a jacket in. A cafe in Barcelona airport and didn't notice till two flights later I tried to put it on going through security in Detroit.

I can't leave for the airport without visually checking my passport and immigration docs 5 minutes after leaving the house and more than once I've had to stop a cab to pull that bag out of the boot. I try to remember not to put that bag in there but often don't. I'm so happy now that you don't need a piece of paper to he through the airport, one less thing to worry about. Things like tripit are a godsend for the absent minded traveller.

I pretty much banking not having a key item with me; socks, toothbrush, jumpers, it's a a great shame the Pittsburgh airport gap is now closed because they did a roaring trade out of me replacing stuff.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 13 November 2012 10:53 (eleven years ago) link

Finding out that despite thinking I'd carefully transferred all the contents of my waistcoat pockets when I went to wash the usual one I still had the bus pass in the pocket. So I thought I'd lost myself a couple of weeks cover. Slowly managed to get the laminate to open and found out that the front part was visible, so the needed part still basically functioned.

Was thinking of possibly trying to stick card to back it and instead just thoughT i'd see if they'd relaminate it for me. They - the bus ticket office just took it and replaced it, got me to fill out a form and then replaced without charge.
So maybe this should go into the happy thread, but still can't believe I managed to stick the thing into the washing machine with the pass still in it.

Stevolende, Sunday, 18 November 2012 19:24 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

it's a wonder I don't wind up in the hospital sometimes

carrying two mason jars, one in each hand. glasses slip down nose, don't think for a second that I could just wait to put the jars down. adjust glasses with one hand while still holding jars, bring hand down, one jar smashes the other jar and one jar breaks with part of my hand inside it

minor scratches, a little blood. but jesus fucking christ wtf is wrong with me

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:07 (eleven years ago) link

frankspencergrrrl

炒面kampf (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:17 (eleven years ago) link

lol you're not kidding

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:24 (eleven years ago) link

some mothers do have veg

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:24 (eleven years ago) link


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