Sex Droughts

Tinkers to Evers to Chance - orgy

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned),

thought an orgy was "both dugouts emptied after the batter was plunked"

getting a minor celebrity in for the first toss

7th inning stretch = 7th inning stretch

= digital penetration?

http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/stretch-armstrong-toy.jpg

Petting is the worst word ever

― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Sunday, 4 November 2012 18:54 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no man petting is cool. i can never imagine using it but i like its aura, like it just suggests some kind of heated clumsiness i find appealing.

Bunt = slow dance w/ boner

inside the park homer = pulling out to c on t's?

that's the infield fly rule

Went to three gay bars and a Madonna concert this weekend. If that didn't break the streak, nothing will.

bobby thomson's shot heard round the world - ending a prolonged sex drought

It's gone platonic, which is kind of for the best- there's a six-year age difference I felt kind of weird about (29 to 23- she assumed I was much younger, I thought she was slightly older). Hey, new friend, I can't complain. We might be making pumpkin pierogis over the weekend, and I'm trying to convince her to come see Mykki Blanco with me next week.

It's over.

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs7/2507838_o.gif

Up to a solid year and a half now. Additionally, I think I've completely lost my "play-dar" (deepest apologies for that), as the few instances that seemed to be maaaybe heading in that direction (up to and including actually sharing a bed with a former partner at their bequest...?) tooootally wound up not heading in that direction at all (see also: what I recently sorta kinda thought was a third date but that she decided to bring a friend to...?). I'm beginning to feel like I've somehow lamentably become the perpetual eunuch companion.

I was so freaked out after that I ate a big bag of wine gums on the bus.

the perpetual eunuch companion.

Took the words right out of my mouth :(

^^Thirded. I attended a gala tonight and was once again reminded of this, as I am at most of these things.

Its been about 2 months for me (last experience was a harrowing one night stand that I think put me off sex for a while). I sense a long drought. I'm totally into the idea.

Go with it!

I was just friended on fb by a girl I share several mutual friends with and, within 4 four exchanged messages, I'd already been warned that drunk messages from her will involve flirting and propositioning. What? We only began talking 24 hours ago!

This is probably what happens on okc or other dating sites, but I don't do those and kind of don't expect it on fb.

Good thing she lives on the other side of the country.

Good thing she lives on the other side of the country.

I say that, because if she were local I'd probably be over there tonight and regretting it in the morning. It's been 10 months!

It's been about a year for me now. It's a good thing, though ... after a long series of gross and completely absurd flings and one night stands, I'm getting my shit together for something better.

the worst being an alien-loving conspiracy theorist and then a probable bi-polar 40-smthng former teacher who wanted to 'sexeducate' me. i'd really like to try out something normal for a change.

'sexeducate'

Oh my! I have to ask, though...what did you learn?

don't get involved with crazy people

lol

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5c/Double-alaskan-rainbow.jpg

i guess we can assume by that that poppage was achieved

2mb of poppage

you yanks and yr imperial measures

If I understand correctly, darragh, there were no yanks in this instance.

might as well use this to document the timeline of the pending drought - broke up Friday/Sunday, I think it had been five days since coitus.

WHY SHIT SO COMPLICATED

It's pretty straightforward bro

http://breasthealthrevolution.com/blog/index_files/train-into-tunnel.jpg

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/ca4b21dd20a75093f110e9a1061466e1/tumblr_mesuvvopXg1qzbjieo1_500.jpg

http://www.kleinbottle.com/images/babyinhand2.jpg

Hey if you can master that one there's no need to leave the house.

http://www.redcliffsdesertreserve.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/Desert-Tortoise-IMG_40733.jpg

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxcqi4jcPW1qhmhdfo1_500.gif

I love that this thread has basically just turned into a scorecard for us to keep track of when other ilxors are getting laid.

last saturday i was looking at my crotch through a microscope, as is my usual ritual, and could've sworn I saw a tumbleweed blow past. of course it might've been dust mites that gathered up a ball of my public hair and now push it around my groin like buggy little sisyphuses. short form, i need to get laiiiiid.

One screw in the last 3.5 years, and that one was crap. I'm feeling antsy and edgy and a little bit mad, miserable and unfocussed and generally like a teenager, debating going back on the meds, and it just now hit me - there's nothing wrong with me a good shag wouldn't fix. What do you do when masturbation isn't working any more?

drink more

Wank twice in a row?

meet someone hot who's travelling through town

travel through someone else's town and find someone hot

I am a-travellin', but not hot. Nor have I met anyone hot, nor has anyone approaching hot been interested in meeting me :(

when you need a right shagging hotness can be overrated as a stumbling block

have you tried lying on yr hand first btw