fuck cancer

sorry nathalie :(

Ah, she was never a good grandmother. She was a very shitty, abusive mother. An alcoholic. Wonder if that had an impact? Probably not? But y'know I saw her a lot since my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years back. (He was an abusive father too.)

Man, I have had one fucked up year. (And fucked up family too. lol)

But it still sucks y'know.

I feel very sorry for my aunt who has had to do most of the shit. My father being in Japan and my uncle being a shit family member.

Still crying. Fuck.

Mark, Nath - thinking about you and hoping that '13 is better for you and yours.

Can I just say Fuck MS and Leukodystrophy on here? They are not cancer but just as fucking horrible. My wife had a lumbar puncture the other day to determine whether she has MS or the more destructive Luekodystrophy due to "extensive white matter lesions on her brain, quite striking for an MS sufferer of 6 years". If it is adult onset Leukodystrophy the doctor has told her it will be a more rapid decline in motor/cognitive function than MS. She is currently housebound and can only walk a few steps at a time before she falls or needs to sit down. She is constantly suffering from tiredness, vision problems, headaches and depression. She is still home educating our son who has autism, onset tourette's and epilepsy. I know this sounds like a very unhappy household, but we have a good time and it is a lot better than it sounds! I just get so fucking angry sometimes that a mother who has fought so hard for our disabled son. She has fought countless battles for him and worked so hard on his speech and language problems and then she gets hit with this shit. Anyone on this thread that have been hit any terminal disease as a sufferer or a partner to a sufferer or family - I feel your pain and wish you all the best.

Damo, obviously you can say fuck MS and Leukodystrophy. I wish you and your family the best as well.

yeah damo, go for it. I'm so sorry about yr wife, that's so rough. My sister in law was diagnosed with MS last year, I def sympathize.

i have a line manager and a boss.
over the last 18 months they have both been brilliant re my situation.

anyway, this week i returned to work after taking the festive season off.
then a couple of hours ago the boss (who rarely talks to me personally), asked to see me in an office.
after the basic chit chat, he then tells me that he has terminal cancer (primary = bowel, secondary = liver), with a matter of months to live.
this man is my age, 44, the healthiest person i know (diet, fitness freak etc), and has 2 v. young children (one is 3, and the other a few months).
he wanted to tell me the full story as opposed to the official line that he has announced to the company i.e. he is going to be cured by the chemo.
i guess so he could talk openly about his situation with me.
this is a good good man and once again, this evil fucking shit is going to destroy a happy little family.

i'm fucking gutted for him and his gang.

and to think i had tried to start 2013 afresh with a whole new outlook ..

sorry mark.

cheers, dr m, but no apologies needed for me

its just another case of how fucked up life and this evil shit is.

[he also revealed to me that he had read my blog - which must have been tuff for him as it kinda mentions stuff from the other side of the situation
i.e. the surviving partner]

also, morbs genuinely hoping your experience goes well this year ...

Oh shit. Keep an eye on yourself Mark, this sounds like it could be pretty rough for you

What do you tell your boss? Having gone through what you went through, mark, what would you tell anyone facing the same thing?

well, thats a whole story unto itself isn't it.
i started saying certain things, and then stopped as i thought this is too much for him.
so, i said that if his wife wants to chat to me and ask me anything at anytime, then i'm there for her.
of course, i suspect that she, like me, will be in a form of denial, and not wanting to face up to the reality ..
as for my boss - he is a very controlled, precise character.
he is all about project management .. flow charts etc and seems to be approaching this in the same manner.
needs to know everything, but yes, i did stop from saying certain things ...
but he wants to have everything sorted out before the end game kicks in, and was asking what needs to be done to make things easier for his wife ..

why is he still working?

he isn't.
he came in today to tell the team ...
suspect that will be it bar the odd pop in session ...

this sounds like it could be pretty rough for you

as per the usual way things work for me, this has proven to be correct ...

i hate delayed reactions like this ...

Oi, never dreamed I'd post to this.

A friend (in her 50s) had cancer before I really knew her, in 1999, and it'd been gone for years, only to come back in 2011. Prognosis was mixed at the onset and we were never really sure what her chances were, but we knew it was going to be rough.

I wouldn't pretend to put this in the same category as situations above, as having immediate family members or having it yourself is far worse. But, it may sound weird, but even at 32 yrs old, I've not had a friend pass away before, and certainly not of cancer. And while I hadn't been in close contact with this person in quite some time, we were a part of the same Caroling Company and I just saw her the day before my birthday, and she looked a bit emaciated, but, for the first time, also felt defeated, and couldn't pretend to put a positive spin on it.

I just got word from my best friend today (who was much closer to her, as he's been in this company with her for years) that she's likely not going to be around much longer, because it has spread to her brain.

I'm still having trouble processing it, I'm feeling guilt for not having visited her in the hospital prior, and although I've been doing my usual thing where I suppress all emotion since I'm afraid of feeling any kind of emotional pain, I've not been able to. This is just horrible.

FUCK CANCER.

soon to be mother-in-law fighting stg 4 gallbladder cancer for over a year and she has been doing ok all things considered. she just want to be able to enjoy her daughters wedding but at this point we are not even sure what state she will be in next month. she was at here treatment today and complained about her hip hurting her and they nonchalantly say "oh it might have spread to the bones" FUCK THIS SHIT FOR REAL. i'm so fucking angry right now , i swear i may punch someone in this office if they fuck with me today.

YOU FUCKER

oh no .. :(

this is just so fucked up. 2013 not shaping up to look any better then the last year

I'm sorry :(

this has been a tough fucking week.
she's currently in the hospital with little hope of getting back out. radiation treatment starts today with hopes of just alleviating some of her pain due to the cancer in her bones. they have already discover tiny fractures in her spine and hip. we are probably going to cancel our wedding that was set for the end of the month. It's astonishing how quickly things have deteriorated in the last couple of weeks.
i just had to vent a little as i'm here at work while my fiance is at the hospital with her mom and giving me updates as things seem to change by the hours.

dates such as this hit hard.
i miss my best friend more now than ever before.
i miss my wife,
i miss my happy life.
i miss the laughs.
i miss the arguments.
i miss the stress.
i miss the warmth.
i miss the control and direction.
basically : i miss you tiina.
fuck you cancer.

<3

so so sorry for your loss mark e. no words can help but love and strength to you.

I can only say the same. Sorry, love to you, mark and carne.

I'm so sorry Mark.

my thoughts are with you guys carne and mark.

thinking about both of you

my uncle, who's 52 or 53 and just 2 weeks ago got an autologous SCT for multiple myeloma, was just transferred to the ICU with what sounds like a pretty bad nosocomial pneumonia. dammit

best of luck to both of you

sorry k3v. I can esp relate since i'm gonna go through that procedure very soon.

horrible to hear of this, thoughts with you guys.

can only echo what's above.

today my wife and I saw a pretty young woman stand up in front of a small group of people (we were in the front row) and announce that she had about 3 or 4 weeks to live

she said she wasn't afraid, or even sad, but grateful to have found a resolution one way or another

then she cried

it was beautiful, it WAS sad, and it was terrifying. never lost anyone this way myself but such was the felt pitch of empathy...a pre-echo, a warning...this death without choice nor reason looms before every door now

I've had more people taken from me by things other than cancer - MS, strokes, heart disease and murder. Each death has the capacity to be uniquely horrible.

My love and sympathy to anyone currently grappling with mortality. Fuck cancer (and the rest).

feeling so beaten down by all this. just trying to be there for my fiance who has been so damn strong though everything.She is my freaking hero.

r.i.p. beautiful lady
mother I never had. Love you

Damn. So sorry.

condolences :(

jesus, carne : ( my best thoughts

I'm so sorry, man... take care of your fiance, and take care of yourself.

sorry for your pain, c.a.

Yeah we were able to have the wedding and my mother in law attended in a wheelchair but we had a great time and she was so happy. I believe that's all she was holding on for. As soon as all the family left back to Spain and everything was over she was ready to go.

My thoughts are with you, c.a.

i'm sorry c.a. :(

my mum has an appointment tomorrow for further investigation on a breast lump that she found two weeks ago. she's had breast cancer twice in the past,
last time was about ten years ago though so we thought we'd put this shit far behind us. of course it could be anything and everyone is trying to keep her spirits up, but she's really pessimistic about it and we're all living under a cloud at the moment. will be good to get tomorrow out of the way so we can just get on with whatever it is we need to do...

My sister passed this morning. Her son is 4.

Fuck cancer forever.

Love you Kath.

terrible. so sorry.

fuck cancer. my condolences

fuck this scourge of the human race.
seriously ...
to c.a, nick b and f.g
... you have my heart felt sympathies ...
bottom line : cancer is evil.

My condolences to you, franny glass.

The 3-year old daughter of friends of ours was just diagnosed with leukemia. It feels perverse to say that the good news is that 80% of patients treated for the type she has stay in remission.