VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

Well if there was ever a thread on which to make a mistake like that, it's this one.

Sitting on train, rucksack and new camera in camera bag at feet, think to self "hey better not forget yr new camera when you get off the train!" Forgot my new camera when I got off the train. Fortunately I realised within 30 seconds and the train was terminating, ran to look through the window and the bloke sat next to me was getting up and noticed it, I made 'omg yes mine thanks!' gestures through the window and he handed it to me as he got off.

Does this sort of thing ever really get anyone down? I've been struggling a lot with my absent-mindedness lately. I work in the film industry at an equipment rental house, and all the stuff I know how to do means that I could potentially be a 1st Camera Assistant, a job which would allow me to travel a lot more and make more money, as well as have a much more flexible schedule and generally do more things I want to do. However, I'm so damned forgetful and prone to doing the wrong thing in little binary choices (turn the knob right or left, is "off" the O or the I on the switch) that I really can't do that job. It makes me incredibly sad and angry when I realize how little I can trust myself in these situations and I don't really know what to do about it.

Seems like you should be able to learn those little mechanical things, it's just like any other skill, right? Focussed repetition, directed practice, mnemonics if necessary. And I think you can train yourself to be better at not forgetting appointments and things to done. More general absent-mindedness like leaving shit on trains though, idk.

Actually if you treat "not leaving this bag on the train" as just a regular to-do list task then I think you can get better at that. The way I deal with remembering appointments and tasks is that it's no good just to say to yourself e.g. "remember to go to the shops after work". You have to visualise doing the task - or rather, visualise the moment when you would break from your normal routine to do the task. So if there is some point where you would turn left to go to the shops instead of right to go home, visualise that moment. Repeat it over and over in your mind for as long as you can until you go nuts or until, more likely, you naturally stop and think of something else. You'll probably find it popping into your head again during the day, which is good and you can rehearse it a bit more. Then when the moment finally comes, or even before, you'll have primed yourself to remember to do what you have to do. So in the leaving shit on train example, when you get on the train just rehearse in your head picking up *all* your bags when you get off.

The minor flaw in this plan is that you might forget that you actually have something to remember! Or forget to even use the technique. But I think as you use it more it does come more naturally.

given that i did actually leave shit on the train i'm still learning.

It's not a matter of training or knowing the right thing, unfortunately. For example, the O on a switch indicates that it's off. Because it's an open circuit. The I indicates on because it's a completed circuit. I've known this since my dad taught me how to do A/V stuff when I was a little kid. This is something I've practiced and been conscious of more than half my life. Yet yesterday I stared straight at a switch that was on, thought I had it right, and plugged in the light, throwing a 1000 watt light in my coworkers' eyes. Not even close to the first time I've done this. Which isn't like an "oh he's just a little spacey" kind of thing in this industry, it's "scream at that man and never hire him again, he's going to get someone hurt."

;_; sorry man i have no better tips for you. can't believe this is an insoluble problem though.

maybe you need to come up with a new mnemonic to help you remember. if it's been happening a lot. sometimes we unlearn things and you just have to dig in and do the work to help your old brain remember again. but I know mnemonics aren't for everyone so ignore at will :)

but more importantly, give yourself a moment before you flip the siwtch next time. maybe you're just rushing yourself too much with that one thing because you *should* know it, and you've got a kind of anxiety about it now. you know how to do it, it's just buried under the static your brain is throwing you. take a moment, draw a deep breath, and dig back into your memory file it'll come. give your brain time to catch up maybe?

Sitting on a train, stabbed over and over again on play button on iphone, but it would not resume the song I'd been listening to. Tried different songs. Tried different views. Re-started iphone. Didn't make any difference. Then remembered that I'd taken my earbuds out when I'd shown my ticket to the ticket check lady.

gave the pie shop woman £1.40 for my £1.47 pie today. Luckily she too had to look at the coins for a good few seconds before it dawned on her it wasn't enough. I think it was the £1 coin + 20p + 10p + 10p that threw us.

xp hahaha

i hit the drivethru on my lunchbreak, took extra care to count out $6 for the meal ahead of time.
handed money to cashier, he says "uh you only gave me $2, it's $6 for the meal" i say "i gave you a five and a one, right?" "no, just two ones"
facepalm. i didn't even check what was in my wallet, i just assumed I still had a $5
i sheepishly handed him my debit card, lol

Sitting on a train, stabbed over and over again on play button on iphone, but it would not resume the song I'd been listening to. Tried different songs. Tried different views. Re-started iphone. Didn't make any difference. Then remembered that I'd taken my earbuds out when I'd shown my ticket to the ticket check lady.

Nice one! Are you on a V1a train? You may have seen my husband, he's working today!

No, I'm in the UK now and have yet to experience V1a - much anticipation as I hear it makes Amtrak look like, well, Amtrak. Suspect it may pwn many UK train companies too.

It's got a lot of heart but I don't think it's really an exceptional service anymore, sadly. Enjoy the UK!

First time to this thread, two things:
1. Somebody missed a flight because security line was slow and couldn't hear boarding announcements in that area. Blamed self a bit because didn't keep up with time. But don't you have to go through the security line to board? Sorry for hick question, but I haven't flown since 9/11, haw haw it's true.
2. xp leaving bags---Eudora Welty was a good photographer, and a friend in France asked her to take pictures of a family reunion in the suburbs of Pari.s It was the last time all of these people would be together: some of them were old; many worked and/or lived all over the world (this was when the French still had an empire of sorts). It was an amazing occasion, a mercurial atmosphere. The people and the estate and the day were photogenic as hell. She was on the Metro, in a massive afterglow, when she realized she'd left her camera bag on a station bench. So she worked her way back, stop to stop, and of course it was gone. She decided then and there that she did not deserve to take another picture. As far as I know, she never did.

right, so, it takes me MONTHS to print documents out whenever i need to, even if it's for claiming expenses or whatever, because i don't own a printer and remembering to go to an internet café is a hassle. so when i went to my parents' for xmas i printed out a ton of pretty overdue and important stuff. for "safe keeping" when travelling home i think i put them in the pages of a magazine i hadn't finished reading.

obviously completely forgot. obviously recycled the magazine. obviously remembered the day after the recycling men had come. FML FML FML FML FML FML FML

"i'll just put this important thing in [weird, immediately forgettable place], i'll never forget this" is p much the bane of my stupid life

this is just a "why the fuck do i have no life skills whatsoever" week right now. the harder i try the worse the inevitable disaster feels

i think there were also some amazon and naked wines gift vouchers in that magazine :((((((((

lex, have you considered hiring some poor college sophomore or something as your personal assistant? All they'd really have to do would be to print things out for you once a week and bring them round, call you to remind you to do things at certain times, etc. You could offer to pay by the hour or the task, whatever works?

Assume they would also open your mail and sort it into to-do piles and put them in specific places like "this box in front of the tv where you have to look at it" or something. You know.

unrelated: yesterday i sat at the dining table & wrote out my grocery list. i went into the kitchen for something, and then when i came back to the table to grab the list, i couldn't find it anywhere.
Hunted high & low for 15 minutes til I found it.

...scrunched into a ball in the recyling bin.

wtf, brain.

This seems like a good time to mention my worst case of this.
It was August 2001 and I had plane tickets to fly NC-OH for a wedding in September. I couldn't miss it. My mom had mailed the paper tickets because she was kind enough to buy them for me.

I lost them. Just totally utterly lost. I had to buy new tickets because I couldn't tell her that I lost them.
Then while I was there, 9/11 came and went and I had to take the Greyhound back from NC so that ticket $ was lost twice. (Once was my fault, the other not so much).

When I got home, I found the envelope with the tickets "safely" tucked away in my undie drawer. I was so mad at myself, I wrote in huge block letters NEVER LOSE ANYTHING AGAIN on the envelope with the tickets still inside. I still have it. It's in the drawer next to the undies and it is my testament to being more mindful of what I'm doing with the things that are in my hands, making lists, etc.

maybe you needed to change your undies more often

i should make more lists but then i'd presumably just lose the lists

xp - maybe

i write the list on my hand when it's really important

also i use full sheets of paper for full-day lists and then tape them to the kitchen cabinet at eye level -- can't lose/ignore it that way

On the few occasions when I've had something I absolutely cannot lose (always a ticket of some kind, basically) I put it in an envelope, write "TICKETS" on it, and tape it to the wall above my dresser or somewhere else my gaze lands often. That way a) it's in plain sight, b) I can't accidentally sent something on top of it, c) my eye lands on it a lot between now and when I need it, so I can't forget where it is.

xp!!!!!! mind-meld

i'm definitely working hard on being a reformed space cadette.

we have a drawer dedicated to tickets, plane/concert/football etc.
it works well! that way part of the routine before you go somewhere is to ~visit the drawer~

i mean, being mindful of where you put them after that is another thing entirely.

i usually "show myself the tickets" at least once before i leave and once on the way, so i know i have them and where they are on my person

put it in an envelope, write "TICKETS" on it, and tape it to the wall above my dresser or somewhere else my gaze lands often.

I have a file on my PC desktop named "where stuff is.txt" and I write down where I've put things for longer-term storage. Like when I go on vacation and want to hide my car keys, cameras, etc in case someone breaks in. And just generally where I store stuff I only use every few years.

this morning pigeons were trying to nest in our air conditioner again (long story) so I pocketed my keys and got some biro canisters and some packing tape and some scissors (to fortify the pigeon fence I built on saturday) and couldn't find my keys anywhere. turned the place upside down. I couldn't get out to the air conditioner (or even leave the flat) without them so obv I was going off my head. this went on for like 15 minutes.

lex, have you considered hiring some poor college sophomore or something as your personal assistant? All they'd really have to do would be to print things out for you once a week and bring them round, call you to remind you to do things at certain times, etc. You could offer to pay by the hour or the task, whatever works?

oh god i consider this all the time. call it an internship and i don't even have to pay them. all that holds me bac is the sense of shame at letting anyone see how my life is currently "organised"

*back

1. Lost one earring at some point and walked around work with one giant silver hoop for god knows how long.
2. Lost my favorite winter hat.
3. Lost a barrette that was actually holding my hair up so don't even ask me how that happened.
4. Got in the elevator to go home finally and forgot to push any buttons.

haha I do the standing in the elevator without pushing a floor button all the time.
or I push it for the floor I'm on and the door closes and BING opens again

Jeff said he does that sometimes, too. I feel better about that one.

Super bummed about the earring, though. Now I have to wear my backup silver hoops until I can find a replacement.

1. Found one earring on the floor of my office.
2. Found my favorite winter hat sitting on a filing cabinet by the printers, where I guess I dropped it on the way out of work on Friday.

I must have been having a bad day on Friday.

heard a car alarm going off in the wee hours of this morning
it seemed v distant, peered out the window to see if it was our main car, which we park out front.
remember going off to sleep giggling bcz the battery on the car seemed to be dying and the alarm was making v sad funny noises

we keep our other car in the driveway. it occurred to me around lunchtime this morning that the alarm I had heard was kinda similar to that car, and not the one we park out front.

a quick email to mr veg and lo and behold, driveway car battery is indeed dead as a doornail. Boo.

I don't know WHY it didn't occur to me to check the other bedroom window, I could have disabled the alarm easily if I had realized it was that car. Stupid fuzzy half asleep brain.

xp carl agatha, my sister just now said she'd finally remembered to pick up her earrings at the jeweler's. Got 'em tightened so they don't fall off. I (ignorant male) had no idea that could be done.

Searching my pockets for my mobile phone while talking to someone on said phone has to be a new low for me.

― Go Narine, Go! (ShariVari), Saturday, December 15, 2012

Oh, I think I've plumbed those depths, a few weeks ago:

Me: "Has anybody seen my cell phone?"

Daughter: "Have you looked next to your ear?"

Me: "Um, oh"

(Yes, there it was, in my right hand; I was on hold, whilst apparently "multi-tasking"...).

xp carl agatha, my sister just now said she'd finally remembered to pick up her earrings at the jeweler's. Got 'em tightened so they don't fall off. I (ignorant male) had no idea that could be done.

― dow, Wednesday, January 23, 2013 12:37 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I didn't know this either. Are they clip ons?

humbling, sad moment for me this evening

after yet again catching the cord of my earbuds on the corner of a kitchen drawer and watching my iphone go clattering to the floor, and exclaiming loudly in woe, i complained to mr veg about this always happening to me. He commiserated and said I should try putting the cord under your sweater. So I took the phone and started trying to feed it through the neck of my sweater. And he looked at me sort of funny and I was like, what? "I can only feed it down down, or I have to feed the buds up through my sweater and that would be more annoy--" and he asked for the phone and I handed it to him and he unplugged the earbuds from the phone, and dropped it down the neck of my sweater and I swear, I exclaimed as though he had just made a quarter appear out of my ear. OMG I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT.

I've sunk to a new low. I think I need a new thread. VegemiteGrrl's home for the very stupid. LOL

i'm having trouble with the mechanics of that. he unplugged the earbuds, *then* dropped the phone down there? so what happened to the earbuds?

it is 2 am and we are in like week 39284729847239842 of the stupidest heatwave ever so i may be even dumber than usual

no dropped earbuds were in my ears, he unplugged the earbuds jack from my phone so that the cord was free of the phone, dropped the cord down, while ALSO holding onto the phone. which he then plugged in once the cord had been fed down.

slot a into slot b then c through f

ah, got it

Today: Finish lunch at work desk, take bottle of Sriracha to meeting instead of notebook.