shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

ha

headline ambiguity funnies

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/01/20/us-fake-sept-11-coins-settlement.html

9/11 coins was a hoax

Manti has an Adidas football cleat box filled with them

Snow Plow Driver Brags About Burying Cars In YouTube Video

Cannibal Cop Seemed Like Regular Cop At Work

104-Year-Old Woman Forced to Lie about Her Age on Facebook

Austrian cardinal's mother hopes he doesn't become pope

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/03/taliban-greets-chuck-hagel-with-bomb.html

"Nick Cave To Unleash 30 Multi Coloured Horses At New York’s Grand Central Terminal"

http://www.yatzer.com/HEARD-NY-by-Nick-Cave

(which looks great and is only funny because of the name (it's not THAT nick cave))

Cops: Teen who said Ninjas attacked him actually shot himself

CNN Grieves That Guilty Verdict Ruined Promising Lives of Steubenville Rapists

Jihadi Web Forums Are Losing Members to Twitter, Facebook, Death

ha, best use of non-parallel construction ever

@beautypill 3m
The last line of this article is absolutely intended to read like an Onion piece. Tell me I'm wrong. http://wapo.st/11ztSXg

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/NATL-Irish-Town-Legalizes-Drinking-and-Driving-199867031.html

Healy-Rae told the Times he thinks the measure will help preserve pub culture, lower the risk of suicide and attack isolation in the small town.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html

Actual article not Onion-esque, but the concept has promise.

The picture and caption of this article look Onionish.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/11/newser-beaver-kills-man/2074145/

Boston Dunkin' Donuts Remain Open To 'Take Care Of Law Enforcement And First Responders'

http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/1440/20130418/tylenol-eases-existential-anxiety.htm

that link starts 2 videos with sound when you open it

the chains of worry are forged in idle hours

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/04/north-korean-missile-test-delayed-by-windows-8.html

oh wait "borowitz report" nevermind

smh

\o_O/

Fuckin Borowitz

quite literally "shit that looks like an onion article but isn't"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2032985/Road-trip-UCLA-student-goes-Libya-fight-rebels-sick-summer-break.html

i added that dude on facebook back when that all went down and he accepted my request some time after he got back

Last line of the article is such an Onion punchline.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/british-public-wrong-about-nearly-everything-survey-shows-8697821.html

"15 per cent of of girls under 16 are thought to become pregnant every year"

what the holy fuck is wrong with people?

this is why political change that doesn't involve severe beatings is never gonna work

15% of girls but some of them are 4 yrs old, for the 15 yr olds it must be more like 80%

actually that's a flaw in the question -- most people would probably think you meant something like 13-16 year olds, not all girls under 16.

survey doesnt cover the most enduring political calumny of the social right -- the notion that the ECHR is part of the EU, which lots of university educated people subscribe to

from the article Hurting i'm guessing they asked people to guess at figures, not make a choice. and i don't care how you skew the numbers, 15 percent?????

i've explained the difference between the ECHR and the EU to people on several occasions and to be honest they didn't give a shit even when they knew the difference

they usual express mild confoundment when told that the conservative party & st winston were its progenitors

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/oct/04/human-rights-act-conservatives/print

quand le peuple sera-t-il donc éclairé?

jamais

http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/nick-cave-talks-his-insane-gladiator-sequel-074708607.html

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/inside-story-Holiday-Inn-sex-den/story-19562484-detail/story.html

this reads like a brilliantly nailed-on parody of investigative tabloid articles, but I don't think it's supposed to be

bewildering it just stops when it was about to get... interesting

matt's other work today http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/POLL-makes-perfect-pie/story-19562561-detail/story.html

matt cannon is the max read of brentwood

specialisms: group sex, pies

OMG Holiday Inn Sex Den!

It's also amazing how the first 4/5 of that article are about him fucking up his attempts to clandestinely record the events.