music industry wanker words

"territory"

21. units

22. schmoozing

23. sell-through

24. plays

25. That little miss little miss can't be wrong.

26. Voted

27. Cross-promotional guest spot

28. London St. Pancras

29. "Noise pop"

30. For fans of New Order, Electric Wizard, Aphex Twin, The Beach Boys, Daft Punk

31. Epiphany

32. soulful

33. troubador

34. songstress

just been made aware of this http://musicdescriptions.tumblr.com/ which I think is mostly culled from press releases for dance records. it's germane to this thread I guess inasmuch as they're fairly choice examples of bad journalism with the added weight of dutiful hyperbole

that said some of the shorter ones aren't really that bad tbh

journalism i don't really include in music industry wankerdom except insofar as it pathetically attempts to ape it, concern itself with its concerns, etc

oh jesus, some of those...

“inflicts a sense of urgency whilst simultaneously residing in a backseat slot, a break that suits the coming down lot. Chartered speculation increases a heightened sense of perpetual motion, induced into profound unattached imagery.”

“Its beauty elevates any apathetic subsidence with a soothing tug on a warm blanket.”

PR copy is this weird double-reflexive doppelganger that apes music journalism in an attempt to get actual journalists to ape it in turn

^yes I was trying to find the right words for this

35. discovery

36. long-player

37. Space cows

38. pizza

39. home listening

40. Home taping

41. Experimental

42. Seminal

43. Mastermind
44. Effortless
45. Not your average...

46. Influential

47. Content.
I had a press release yesterday promising "more content soon", by which they meant music.

From the Tumblr DJ Mencap mentioned, my favourite is “Congealed dreams get dispersed into jazz sensibilities”. Congealed?

How to you disperse something into sensibilities of any type? I feel like a diagram would be helpful here.

48. "drops"

On second reading that "congealed dreams" line reads like ad copy for a surreal cleaning product.

49. stealing music

I frequently disperse rage into sarcastic, bitter, and just plain aggressive sensibilities, if that's any help.

30. For fans of New Order, Electric Wizard, Aphex Twin, The Beach Boys, Daft Punk

― dog latin, Wednesday, February 20, 2013 7:11 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Similarly, usually when the band is "indie" and completely generic it is either Radiohead, Pavement, or The Shins.

A congealed jizz-stain of E-40, PJ Harvey and Juan Atkins

"visual." "reveal." "share." "exclusive." "teaser." "trailer."

especially "visual." there is possibly no promotional term that gets more on my nerves. IT'S A MUSIC VIDEO. this is like "creative" becoming a noun/verb/adjective/who knows maybe even interjection.

if it doesn't leave trails or "breathe", it's not a visual, imo.

50. "magnum opus"

51. "forward-thinking"

52. "game changing"

53. "David Fricke"

54. "it transcends"

55. "the (insert name of influential artist of the past) of our generation"

56. "the ultimate interview" (it usually isn't)

57. "return to form" (it usually isn't)

58. "groundbreaking"

"cuts"

do you ever reply to mails like this? (if you don't want to cover the band that is)
if yes, how do you response?

"Our site only publishes short poems about records I like. If recent history is any guide, I update every nine months or so. All best, UA"

"two door" referring to "two door cinema club"

john wurster skewers this shit particularly effectivly

"performance"

"vocal"

music industry wanker words

surprised "leak" isn't in here yet

i mean "vocal" the singular, not plural, noun. i.e. "hmmm nice vocal"

Performance, though??

59. Renowned

60. drop

61. "collab"

62. "promo" as in "doing promo"

"can we get some promo?"

"promo" is by no means confined to the music industry

true

"album cycle"

"legendary"

usually used to describe some also-ran who they're trying to resuscitate

Performance, though??

― deej loaf (D-40), Tuesday, October 14, 2014 5:28 AM (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YES

GOD YES

"oh my god i went to see carly rae jepsen last night"

"no way"

"seriously!!"

"was it amazing?"

"it was such a good performance"

BWIP BWIP BWIP BWIP

the music industry wanker word police arrive, their detector box flashing, they shake their heads as they stuff you into their black maria, which they pedantically explain the pronunciation of