why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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Because he's saying "Hey, Ladies" in that one.

Mark G, Friday, 22 February 2013 10:27 (eleven years ago) link

should replace that with a picture of somebody spreading cowshit over the field

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 February 2013 10:44 (eleven years ago) link

otm

"If it's not safe to eat...
...how can it be safe to eat?"

carl agatha, Friday, 22 February 2013 13:18 (eleven years ago) link

I mean, it's not safe to breathe tomato soup either.

carl agatha, Friday, 22 February 2013 13:18 (eleven years ago) link

more importantly, why the heck is he in nothing but boxers and a gym towel with the camera pointing towards his crotch in the first pic?

― dog latin, Friday, February 22, 2013 4:46 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

go on instagram and look at popular pics and you'll find a million accounts where shirtless teenage dudes do those comic-book-style image macros it is so fucking weird

zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, 22 February 2013 14:30 (eleven years ago) link

the worst of these is surely the ones that claim some awful tragedy and then have a picture of spongebob looking pensive.

ryan, Friday, 22 February 2013 15:05 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/DtIYmUJ.jpg

zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, 22 February 2013 15:28 (eleven years ago) link

is that all true?

dog latin, Friday, 22 February 2013 15:32 (eleven years ago) link

oh man oh man oh man, here's one I just got on my feed:

man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what is it?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $100 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $50?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolity's.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $50 and he really didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' He asked. 'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy. 'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for.' The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. 'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled. 'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours... But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

fuck you kid, buy an Xbox and cram it

frogbs, Friday, 22 February 2013 15:47 (eleven years ago) link

tbh if you're the sort of hard-working go-getter that's missing out on your family just to get the job done then fuck you anyway, you'll get what you deserve in hell

tochter tochter, please (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 February 2013 15:49 (eleven years ago) link

but you cant just say that, so here's a 1000 word story about something that never happened, ever

frogbs, Friday, 22 February 2013 15:51 (eleven years ago) link

won't someone please think of the children

Neil S, Friday, 22 February 2013 15:54 (eleven years ago) link

kids should shut up and wear their little suits and learn life lessons on the streets or from their nanny

Austerity Ponies, Friday, 22 February 2013 16:07 (eleven years ago) link

This one has come around on me a few times in the last 12 hours.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/s480x480/554030_10151344905937983_807061793_n.jpg

how's life, Friday, 22 February 2013 16:23 (eleven years ago) link

nsfw, probably^

how's life, Friday, 22 February 2013 16:23 (eleven years ago) link

would like to see that four-pronged dick

my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Friday, 22 February 2013 16:24 (eleven years ago) link

I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolity's.

Dude has a way with kids tho

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:09 (eleven years ago) link

in that story, really love how the dad deals with his son, being a total dick. also at the beginning i was expecting it to be a story about how when you make money you pay taxes to assist stupid little shits who do nothing, some kind of crazy right-wing paranoia thing.

Jibe, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:12 (eleven years ago) link

"your acting like a child", the dad said to child

frogbs, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:13 (eleven years ago) link

He sure gets angry alot. Maybe professional wrestling pays pretty well.

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:19 (eleven years ago) link

i like that story, it's like a vignette from a 21st century mary poppins as seen through the eyes of someone recovering from blunt force trauma to the head.

Spectrum, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:20 (eleven years ago) link

Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love.

Also not everyone makes $100 an hour iirc

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:23 (eleven years ago) link

well then you'll just have to spend more time, then.

:C (crüt), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

then

:C (crüt), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

Fuck that.

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

father: son you have opened up my eyes to the true meaning of love. i will no longer get furious at you. i am sorry.
son: thank you daddy! the son said as they hugged and the crumpled up dollar bills fell to the ground. the father never got angry again.

Spectrum, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

-Harry Chapin

Also, where'd a 5 yo kid get $50?

nickn, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:31 (eleven years ago) link

lil' Hustla

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:32 (eleven years ago) link

'Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

'I'm sorry, son, but the little boy I work for made me sign a non-compete agreement.'

Austerity Ponies, Friday, 22 February 2013 17:52 (eleven years ago) link

LOL

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 22 February 2013 18:59 (eleven years ago) link

hit DESTROY if you don't care!!!!!

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:18 (eleven years ago) link

Invented sex, too, didn't ya?

xp

Alma Mattar Paneer (doo dah), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:19 (eleven years ago) link

WOW.

:C (crüt), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:23 (eleven years ago) link

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what is it?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN'

Julian-Joachim Roedelius (DJ Mencap), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:26 (eleven years ago) link

loool

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:27 (eleven years ago) link

I feel sorry for the people who didn't get color TV until the 90s.

Moodles, Friday, 22 February 2013 19:30 (eleven years ago) link

In fairness, that jpg could have been posted from Bhutan.

Head Cheerleader, Homecoming Queen and part-time model (ShariVari), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:30 (eleven years ago) link

lol, Mencap.

That '90s thing has to be a joke, surely?

emil.y, Friday, 22 February 2013 19:30 (eleven years ago) link

90's children are post-history, dudes

Austerity Ponies, Friday, 22 February 2013 19:32 (eleven years ago) link

Crazy that the Super Nintendo was the first videogame system ever, isn't it?

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:42 (eleven years ago) link

she's gonna regret not having a burpcloth in a second

Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:46 (eleven years ago) link

the most precious vomit-jewels

:C (crüt), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:48 (eleven years ago) link

well that's a step beyond vietnam ear necklaces jesus christ

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 19:49 (eleven years ago) link

ha!

Austerity Ponies, Friday, 22 February 2013 19:54 (eleven years ago) link

the ellipsis really makes you pause and think...

Neil S, Friday, 22 February 2013 19:58 (eleven years ago) link


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