game-related lolz of some fashion

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quite honestly, once you start calling yourself "A Gentleman Jelqer" there's pretty much no reason to ever speak or write again

"Bellini." (DJP), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:04 (eleven years ago) link

what is a "gentleman jelqer"; is this some sort of webslashfic thing?

the 'dirty sprite' is implied (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:08 (eleven years ago) link

Ok lol I guess my twitter taste isn't playing on ilx, noted.

sleepingbag, Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:13 (eleven years ago) link

mad envious of forks not knowing what jelquing is

it eventually gets discussed here: Penis size

"Bellini." (DJP), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:14 (eleven years ago) link

the name's DJP - the J stands for Jelqer

乒乓, Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:22 (eleven years ago) link

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's jelq in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:24 (eleven years ago) link

people that JELQ are scumbags

乒乓, Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:24 (eleven years ago) link

you know what, i'm gonna stay in the dark

the 'dirty sprite' is implied (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:38 (eleven years ago) link

that's just gonna increase the likelihood of you encountering some jelquing

"Bellini." (DJP), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:39 (eleven years ago) link

i'll keep you posted

the 'dirty sprite' is implied (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 7 March 2013 21:39 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/t7wrH8r.gif

am0n, Friday, 8 March 2013 15:48 (eleven years ago) link

lol what game?

goole, Friday, 8 March 2013 15:51 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_mESOTbEPs

am0n, Friday, 8 March 2013 15:58 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_mESOTbEPs

am0n, Friday, 8 March 2013 15:58 (eleven years ago) link

Heh, polygon gave SimCity 9.5/10, then changed their minds then dropped to 8/10, then got properly pissed off with it and dropped again to 4/10.

http://www.polygon.com/game/simcity-2013/2630

JimD, Friday, 8 March 2013 17:05 (eleven years ago) link

lol
http://i.imgur.com/H6OoFb7.png

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Friday, 8 March 2013 17:27 (eleven years ago) link

wow, sounds like the guy had a rage quit and then realized he could write a rage review!

(still, i'm kinda glad to be forced to wait for the mac version now. hopefully they'll iron out their server problems before release)

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Friday, 8 March 2013 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

holy cow @ those amazon reviews

goole, Friday, 8 March 2013 17:31 (eleven years ago) link

Can we get rid of online-required DRM?

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 8 March 2013 17:47 (eleven years ago) link

there have been rumors that both PS4 & 720 will require an online connection as a security measure. good luck console gaming.

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Friday, 8 March 2013 17:51 (eleven years ago) link

now we know the real reason Obama wants to cement the country's wifi infrastructure

"Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 17:58 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/21ca7Lt.jpg

乒乓, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:24 (eleven years ago) link

lolol!

Nhex, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:32 (eleven years ago) link

maxis deserves better than EA

Mordy, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:35 (eleven years ago) link

it is kind of a pickle, though. their servers are getting slammed, but right NOW is by the far the highest traffic they're ever going to get. everyone's just bought it, and logging in to play this weekend. so they can add extra server capacity, but it'll just go to waste in a week or two when the peak load isn't so high.

i dunno. they're also obv a huge company with tons of servers/$ anyway, so perhaps they should be able to use some servers that are normally used for other games, temporarily, or something? anyway, they should have known this was coming.

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:39 (eleven years ago) link

man EA is kind of pathetic

now if you'll excuse me, I need to fire up The Simpsons Tapped Out

Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:40 (eleven years ago) link

the problem isn't that they didn't anticipate the server demand. the problem is that the always-online feature is awful and they should allow people to play the game while offline

Mordy, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:40 (eleven years ago) link

simcity is the perfect franchise to play on the train/airplane/otherwise away from a wifi connection - like civ.

Mordy, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (eleven years ago) link

i also don't understand why blizzard is able to launch mac + pc platforms simultaneously and not a single other game company can manage?

Mordy, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:43 (eleven years ago) link

because Blizzard absolutely refuses to release anything that hasn't been beta tested and reworked within an inch of its life

Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:44 (eleven years ago) link

Can't believe a lolz thread is a) making me google to find out what s going on and ii) making me read stories called "Reticulating splines for reticulating times".

ledge, Friday, 8 March 2013 23:19 (eleven years ago) link

and even then, the D3 launch was still pretty messed up because of aforementioned onerous DRM

Nhex, Friday, 8 March 2013 23:47 (eleven years ago) link

it is kind of a pickle, though. their servers are getting slammed, but right NOW is by the far the highest traffic they're ever going to get. everyone's just bought it, and logging in to play this weekend. so they can add extra server capacity, but it'll just go to waste in a week or two when the peak load isn't so high.

i dunno. they're also obv a huge company with tons of servers/$ anyway, so perhaps they should be able to use some servers that are normally used for other games, temporarily, or something? anyway, they should have known this was coming.

― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Friday, March 8, 2013 2:39 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fun fact:

$ nslookup api.simcity.com
Server: 10.0.1.1
Address: 10.0.1.1#53

Non-authoritative answer:
api.simcity.com canonical name = static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com.
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 79.125.126.130
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 46.51.182.63
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 46.137.97.46
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 46.137.174.96
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 54.228.209.161
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 54.228.251.191
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 54.246.113.16
Name: static-eu-1660312676.eu-west-1.elb.amazonaws.com
Address: 54.246.120.57

my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Saturday, 9 March 2013 02:35 (eleven years ago) link

or, in other words, EA should be able to easily scale back down after the launch window. The trouble is, they apparently didn't scale up quite enough in advance.

my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Saturday, 9 March 2013 02:42 (eleven years ago) link

alternate possibility is that SimCity is now NP-complete

my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Saturday, 9 March 2013 02:44 (eleven years ago) link

"The EA Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 2013. Offline options are removed from EA products. EANet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. "

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Saturday, 9 March 2013 09:27 (eleven years ago) link

EA now offering a free game to anyone who's bought Sim City so far. Which sounds to me like "hey, play something else for a while until we work out how to fix this, ta".

JimD, Saturday, 9 March 2013 10:37 (eleven years ago) link

Is this free game titled 'The Waiting Game'?

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Saturday, 9 March 2013 14:28 (eleven years ago) link

Watch out for Ubisoft's exciting new game, 'TV Station Picture Researcher Creed'.

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 11 March 2013 19:00 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdgWotGUPrE

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

Rune Factory 3

http://i.imgur.com/qonuZuX.jpg

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Monday, 25 March 2013 13:54 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gmpEzC0kYw

am0n, Monday, 25 March 2013 20:35 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi5hWNnsLm0

turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 2 April 2013 03:00 (eleven years ago) link

ha

Hockey Drunk (kingfish), Tuesday, 2 April 2013 03:05 (eleven years ago) link

AY-LIENS-UH-YEAH

Nhex, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 04:06 (eleven years ago) link


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