OK, which one of you is @BARTSIMSON_REAL?

jerry icy ‏@dangerousneil 30 Apr 12
is there anybody out there [static] i repeat [static] can eat too much pizza [screaming and crying] we were wrong [static] pizza [static]

everybody otm re: bro pair. i like mobute (though that gawker self-doxxing was the ugliest voluntary unmasking since kiss was promoting lick it up).

mobute can turn a phrase. his breitbart obit was all time.

otoh this bro_pair brendle faceoff was great: http://www.mrdestructo.com/2013/04/point-counterpoint-is-satire-even-thing.html

stolas ‏@prince_stolas 3m
@WIZARDISHUNGRY Your tail, if any, turns ruby and has an orgasm, then you become a teenager.

tryna throw us off the trail

Greg @weedguy420boner
Pussy look like a *slowed down voice* soft shell crab

my favorite variant of that joke:

Celebrity
‏@FamousCeleb
*puffs on pipe* *turns pipe around and points while stroking chin with other hand* *clears throat* Pussy Look Like Fold Up Piece Of Ham

https://twitter.com/_yourdm

Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco 1m
Breaking news this is a first folks las vegas police was just at my house i have been charged with rape by a susie bell from las vegas

Eli Langer ‏@EliLanger 3m
@JoseCanseco Call 1-800-LAWYER. Use coupon code "Twitter" for 10% discount. Good luck.

this is way fucked up

Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco 8m
7027899844 this is susie bells number call her media ask her if she will take a polygraph.lol

posting her name, phone number and photos of her is next level escalation, well done jose. this will play well in any legal proceedings.

uh

good thing you reposted it in case the tweet gets deleted

right??

https://twitter.com/ValEKilmer/status/337707333612359680

I love u val

the thing about his dead brother was o_O

looks like he deleted it!

one tweet was sth like "this painting is by my brother, who died, i think about him every day" [link to an instagram of a painting]

the next one was like "apologies, painting not by my brother"

haaaaah

so he's really into collages now?

ok idk if this is "weird twitter" but it's def weird, twitter

i tweet v infrequently; a couple weeks ago i said something about a local band. this tweet has attracted likes from four fake spam bot accts, spouting nonsense (for 1 day!) inna horse_ebooks style

Lane Mohammed @Brynnjyxa
Marcene Dinkin @Kareyzmqr
Carita Friedt @Jeanicecvhg
Freddie Kuehne @Vikivvtj

the first three have urls that all resolve to a follower shop (http://followersdelivery.com/) probably the most depressing thing i can think of besides genocide or josef fritzl tbh

the last one bears a blacklisted link to "betterjesus.info/[etc etc]", no thanks.

i guess this kind of stuff must be pretty common if you're on twitter a lot? the mystery to me is what was in that tweet that attracted this attention

it's too bad these bots only run for 24 hours, they are p funny:

https://twitter.com/Vikivvtj/status/336414855949078529
https://twitter.com/Vikivvtj/status/336561001996632065

that kind of thing is so hilarious/cool/creepy to me--like weird modern-day numbers stations

ken layne wrote a small thing about it http://www.theawl.com/2013/03/spy-twitter-is-weird-twitte

that's a great article. it's def the feeling i get when i see one of these notifications pop up. what reaction is this supposed to get from me? and if not me, whom? what's the frequency, kenneth?

this set of accts are almost certainly just spam for that 'business' but again i have to wonder what they keyed to

I get followed by a ton of noname rap producer bots

the actual bots and what they tweet reminds me of like, blogspot comment spam

i kinda want to buy 10k followers its only $80

http://i.imgur.com/P9ncjVp.png

where can i sign up to be a high-qual real follower? that is what i am.

some of it is about increasing follower counts, avoiding being labeled as spam, etc.

the googuns one that ken writes about, who the fuck knows

i have this dim memory of reading about some kind of espionage or hacking operation that DID use a, or several, twitter accounts the way the numbers stations are/were supposed to have been used--as signal operations i guess

this is my favorite stuff though, like those weird spam emails you sometimes get that have literally no discernable purpose, no links contained, nothing advertised

just pure noise

they may be checking to see if you open it

They

they_ebooks

http://s23.theawl.com/awl/up/2013/03/googuns_staging.jpg

max if you're into this kind of stuff u might be interested in my friends art show (which opens tonight), http://www.bitforms.com/index.php, everybody else in ny should go too, street team out

max were you thinking of the botnet that used twitter?

http://ddos.arbornetworks.com/2009/08/twitter-based-botnet-command-channel/

Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco 4m
There is a tear in the space time continuum

one of my friend's tweets to me and an internet microcelebrity about theodor adorno got into the hands of twitter spam bots and for the next few days they just kept sending me the same message, about once per hour. idk if you can read the message in the image but it says "adorno considered art's internal dialectic alongside its dialectical relationship with society."

http://s21.postimg.org/eeymdrlyv/Screen_Shot_2013_04_09_at_1_18_52_PM.png

bots love the frankfurt school

The teen profile pics next to Adorno quotes made me laugh.

http://f.eed.bz/10-coincidences-between-two-different-objects/

and the joke that keeps giving http://f.eed.bz/the-solitary-entrepreneur/

Real commitment to a bit here: http://f.eed.bz/3651-reasons-you-might-be-a-90s-kid/

Love the david brooks snowden column parody

play this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwHw6jo1E3M

underneath this clip of twitter's Rob Delaney bombing horrifically on Jimmy Kimmel a few months ago and you'll have a deleted scene from a David Lynch film.

http://edgecast.metatube-files.buscafs.com/uploads/videos/flv/video_172571.mp4

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/imagen-if-i-did-molly-and-then-imagened-an-epsode-of-seinfeld-where-they-do-molly

imagen reading that entire thing

especially fond of the inception bit and this:

Acording to New York Times, 'Molly' is like this prety awesome drug that black rapers like Kanye West and Miley Cyres like to sing about in their beats, but also caucasien poeple like Kaitlin, a 22-year-old senier at Columbia University, and women who are like 50 who have been writen about in Town Talk Magazine, take at dance party's in Wiliamsburg. New York Times say 'Molly' is grate because it get you fucked up but still feel crisp.