why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

#aboythattravels

exactly. that's why they get the side-eye. troubador=man whore

practice makes perfect

posted by a friend who is on the verge of ending her six or seven-year relationship about four years too late:
http://sentimentsfromtheheart.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/date-a-girl-who-teaches/

You should deal with this shit with alcohol, not Facebook!

(in ALL areas)

in the butt

Date a girl who teaches children. Date a girl who enjoys more in a bookstore for school supplies and children’s books rather than in make-up store.

surely she doesn't teach english?!

personally i'm always enthralled by girls with booklets i can't understand tho.

This one's for sunny.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/945230_596416957045986_327975048_n.jpg

-werner herzog

They're animals and we are pee-puhl, duh

if you look straight and deep into a chimpanzee's eyes won't they take it as an act of aggression and rip your face off?

(in ALL areas)

I just realized that all of these Date an X who Y are because of this thing from thought catalog from two years ago

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads/

back when Thought Catalog was relevant for about five minutes

this was apparently blogged "in response" and from there I guess it became a sappy Facebook meme

https://nonamerah.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/869/

hm that second link is clearly copypasta, I see attributions to someone named "Rosemarie Urquico" in lots of places but never a link back

evidence that "Date A Girl Who Reads" dates to shortly after the TC piece's publication http://www.tinamats.com/2011/datea-girl-who-reads/

blog investigation on the copypasta: http://themonicabird.com/post/3582061419/rosemarie-urquico-has-been-found

anyway the point is somehow all of these memes are way way worse than the original Thought Catalog slam-poetry-level emotional wankery, which is mindboggling

a few years ago ilx's own nabisco wrote this in response to some "date a writer" thing and it's my favorite

I will gladly bring my sailboat there and invite them all on board for a journey none will forget.

^^^ plot of the tense 1989 thriller Dead Calm starring Billy Zane, Nicole Kidman and Sam Neill iirc

http://skreened.com/render-product/t/a/p/tapelvnaiykzfazaoiwp/image.w174h200f3.jpg

sorry meant to post this complete thought

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpLCROTQx01j90Tif8Qhiz3Hq6IAKN7OR4qCY0V4DJSXPZu7qiLLIZ8gzOIQ

Looks like Pac-man missed a pill at the end of that last one.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BKnjAtTCQAEia89.jpg

courtesy of holly valance, former something something

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/964176_10151549650952779_1408280431_o.jpg

dalai llama

also i love the binary choice between an atom bomb in a city and just some gorge somewhere

politicians

Actually, is each line meant to be a binary opposition?

thatcher-bob marley
bankers-einstein

that's amazing.

No women on the "love" side, mind you.

there's a third panel that says "THE WASHING UP"

Nice to know Einstein had nothing to do with those dreadful atom-bombs.

history, all of it

Astonished to see JFK as a personification of LOVE and the antithesis of SECURITY.

tbf dude did love to love and did have pretty poor security around him

Is the gorge what happens after the nuke?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oPYd75hJ_8w/UXmpht1xknI/AAAAAAAAAiM/YpXyhYssfFc/s1600/neil.jpg

I sort of feel like Lorrie Moore is unwittingly responsible for the date an x who ys meme.

Date a girl...who has had a library card since she was twelve.

^unimpressive, imo

I started riding the city bus alone downtown to go to the library and use my library card when I was 9. Before that I rode the bus with my mom to go to the downtown library.

Date a girl... who just read 'Animal Farm' like, last week, and is all like 'whoah!'

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/970616_592045337486267_1125974354_n.jpg

THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO WITH BOOKS. TWAT.

wouldn't a big-screen TV be way easier to sit on?

it seems like a surer formula for success.

"A Fan Of Serenity"

my cat loves to sit on my tv

the person who posted this is my former co-worker who left to write a book and homeschool her kids and live in a forest or something