Daycare vs. Stay-at-Home Parenting -- your approach, the sacrifices and/or compromises you're willing to make, etc.

probably the most important thing to consider is the age and tenure of the women (i assume) who will be look after babyjj. Beats went to a montessori daycare first where all the infant room caretakers were quite young and unsurprisingly in the end, very uninterested in doing anything but leaving the babies in their cribs for 9 hours a day so they can talk/text on their phones. Beatrice came home with a variety of weird physical ailments from that place. I also walked in on some bad situations. One was a woman SCREAMING at a very frightened looking 2-3 year old "STOP CRYING. YOUR MOMMAS GONE AND SHE ISNT COMING BACK!" and another time I walked in to find some strange dude pretty violently yanking Beatrice back and forth on a baby swing while she screamed. When he saw me he smiled and said something like 'She just wont stop crying!'
We got her into a loud, much larger daycare downtown not long after that. The women were much older and most have been in daycare for decades (moist at that same place) and had children of their own. We're going on 6 years there now with Beatrice now reduced to after school and Henry heading into his pre-pre-k year (his last year full time i guess) in a couple of months.
Oh the loud is important too i think. If its not naptime and its silent something is amiss.

thats a really good criteria actually!

is it bad that i am creeped out about home daycare places? because i kind of am

no. i mean i think they're a good idea for a group of parents who cant afford a daycare to set up but unless you know and trust the caretaker my instinct is no way.

I went to a home daycare for a few years, and it was weird. Things get awkward when the caretaker's real kids are interacting with the daycare kids. Someone's going to get favorited.

i went to a home day care from 6 mo til preschool, and it was fine. the lady who ran it wound up being my primary babysitter until she died. i called her grammy and liked her a lot better than my actual grandma, who never took care of me. grammy and i used to watch star trek, kung fu, and the muppets together. she was wonderful. when she died, her family buried her with a picture i drew of us together <3 that lady. i got to know her weird family and their kids and everything. they had a dog named satin. the end.

my mom found her because she answered my mom's ad in the newspaper btw

thats an awesome story LL

my mom found her because she answered my mom's ad in the newspaper btw

your mom put an ad in the newspaper to get rid of you....?

Apparently

think we found one. theyre willing to take little dude for just 2 days a week, and one of the prime teachers/kid wranglers is the sister of a dude i have known for years (and who i have hung out with along w/her brother). i have to admit that the almost factory vibe of these places is a little unnerving - like the people were all super awesome, but yknow room with 15 cribs or whatever just sets off all those distopian sci fi freakouts even thow i get it.

the number one issue is that they don't confirm placement more than 30 days in advance? which seems fucking crazy to me.

yeah that was the case with the daycares we looked at too but I think it might have been 6 weeks. Anything longer than that then you had to start paying the full weekly amount even though your kiddo isnt even there yet.

also, im glad you found someone you know!