shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

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i've explained the difference between the ECHR and the EU to people on several occasions and to be honest they didn't give a shit even when they knew the difference

the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:10 (ten years ago) link

they usual express mild confoundment when told that the conservative party & st winston were its progenitors

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/oct/04/human-rights-act-conservatives/print

quand le peuple sera-t-il donc éclairé?

jamais

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 17:26 (ten years ago) link

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/inside-story-Holiday-Inn-sex-den/story-19562484-detail/story.html

this reads like a brilliantly nailed-on parody of investigative tabloid articles, but I don't think it's supposed to be

bewildering it just stops when it was about to get... interesting

Neil S, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 15:49 (ten years ago) link

matt cannon is the max read of brentwood

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:42 (ten years ago) link

specialisms: group sex, pies

There shouldn't be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets. (stevie), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:45 (ten years ago) link

OMG Holiday Inn Sex Den!

PJ. Turquoise dealer. Chatroulette addict. Andersonville. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:56 (ten years ago) link

It's also amazing how the first 4/5 of that article are about him fucking up his attempts to clandestinely record the events.

PJ. Turquoise dealer. Chatroulette addict. Andersonville. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 16:58 (ten years ago) link

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/insight-pharmaceuticals-considers-bananacin----banana-flavored-anacin-tablets----after-worlds-oldest-man-credits-combo-as-secret-to-long-life-217133321.html

Insight Pharmaceuticals Considers 'Bananacin' -- Banana-Flavored Anacin Tablets -- After World's Oldest Man Credits Combo As Secret To Long Life
Scientists rush to lab to concoct new over-the-counter remedy for longevity

http://i.imgur.com/ILM6h3Q.jpg
Bananas + Anacin = The Secret to Longevity? (PRNewsFoto/INSIGHT Pharmaceuticals, LLC)

TREVOSE, Pa., July 26, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- Moments after learning that the world's oldest man credits his longevity to a daily dose of six Anacin tablets and one banana, scientists at Insight Pharmaceuticals began to investigate whether 'Bananacin' – a banana-flavored Anacin tablet – might be the elixir for longevity.

According to multiple news reports, 112-year-old Salustiano "Shorty" Sanchez-Blazquez of Grand Island, New York, credits the banana-Anacin combo for his extended life. Born in 1901, Guinness World Records now recognizes Shorty as the world's oldest man.

"Historically, apples are the fruit most associated with staying healthy and avoiding doctors," said Jennifer Moyer, vice president of marketing for Insight Pharmaceuticals. "Our scientists had never looked into the banana before. But now that the certified oldest man in the world credits bananas and Anacin as his life-extending combo, we're certainly going to explore whether a new 'Bananacin' product makes sense."

Anacin, invented in 1916 by William Milton Knight, is one of the oldest brands of pain relievers in the United States. Its unique formula contains two important ingredients – aspirin and caffeine – to deliver fast pain relief from headaches. Anacin is currently available in regular and maximum strength tablets as well as regular strength caplets; Insight Pharmaceuticals is exploring a banana-shaped capsule for the new 'Bananacin' flavor.

"Forget the fountain of youth – 'Bananacin' could be a game-changer for life expectancy," Moyer noted. "If nothing else, 'Bananacin' sounds delicious! And it only makes sense that the oldest man in the world recognizes the benefits of Anacin, which is one of the oldest brand pain relievers in the U.S."

While Insight Pharmaceuticals scientists work to bring 'Bananacin' to drugstores nationwide, headache sufferers can visit www.Anacin.com to download a $2 coupon for any original Anacin product. Bargain hunters can follow Anacin on Twitter (@Anacin) to double their coupon to $4.

"We're committed to helping people have better days by giving them fast pain relief – especially for those great nights that are followed by rough mornings," Moyer continued. "And if we can somehow discover how to help them add days to their life with 'Bananacin,' it's a win-win."

Insight Pharmaceuticals is exploring a banana-shaped capsule

drop everything

The meat, which contained no fat, was fried in a pan with copious amounts of butter by an English chef and presented on a plate with a bun, lettuce and tomato slices to Dr. Post, Mr. Schonwald and Hanni Rützler, an Austrian food scientist. Pleas from the journalists and others in the audience for a bite were dismissed by Dr. Post, who said he did not have enough to go around.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/06/science/a-lab-grown-burger-gets-a-taste-test.html

sassy, fun, and RELATABLE (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 6 August 2013 18:40 (ten years ago) link

wow, that article fits this thread topic to a T

Nhex, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 17:42 (ten years ago) link

man I wouldn't like to be a collector of original 7-inch vinyl Happy Mondays singles right now

the secret life of bantz (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 17:56 (ten years ago) link

http://www.complex.com/sports/2013/08/the-time-i-dunked-on-gilbert-arenas

The Time I Dunked on Gilbert Arenas and Sharted My Shorts

frogbs, Wednesday, 7 August 2013 18:06 (ten years ago) link

over two pages? really?

sassy, fun, and RELATABLE (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 7 August 2013 18:29 (ten years ago) link

reprinted elsewhere with a picture that totally looks like an onion picture too:

http://goodmenproject.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ApprehensiveDad.jpg

http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-awesome-sex/

scott seward, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 14:30 (ten years ago) link

You know, that's one way to insure your daughter never has sex. Good thinking there.

pplains, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 16:47 (ten years ago) link

sex insurance

socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 18:18 (ten years ago) link

dear daughter if I ever blog about ANYTHING tangentially related to or even mentioning you having sex you can just disown me

HOOS next aka won't get steened again (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 18:55 (ten years ago) link

Noises from daughter's room.
Dad bursts in.
Daughter: (gasps) Dad!
Dad: I support you sweetie! Have an awesome time... carry on...

...just pretend I'm not here.

Evan, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 19:11 (ten years ago) link

Ilxor: Nooooooooooooooo!

MAVEN! (Matt P), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link

Conservatives Angry At 'Elysium' for Showing World Their Ideology Would Create

http://thecontributor.com/ari-rabin-havt-elysium-biased

Evan, Thursday, 15 August 2013 23:23 (ten years ago) link

For the headline, mostly.

Evan, Thursday, 15 August 2013 23:24 (ten years ago) link

oops sorry, I know you'll be desperate to read this, URL should be:
http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/

Neil S, Friday, 16 August 2013 09:10 (ten years ago) link

i hope nobody got paid to write that

Nhex, Friday, 16 August 2013 20:43 (ten years ago) link

dear daughter if I ever blog about ANYTHING tangentially related to or even mentioning you having sex you can just disown me

My dad was this kind of dad and my sister's just fine. I'd post a photo of my nephew but... People have sex and eat and shit and sleep and whatevs.

Fais ce que voudra, occiderai de même (Michael White), Wednesday, 21 August 2013 18:52 (ten years ago) link

Finding the unjustly homeless, and teaching them to code.
https://medium.com/architecting-a-life/fee8f3ee97a0

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 19:00 (ten years ago) link

this sounds awful already. making someone learn to code has got to sanctioned as some kind of torture somewhere

Nhex, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/01/22/is-atheism-a-religion/atheism-cannot-replace-religion

(it's the headline combined with the author photo and the name "Phyllis Tickle" that does it)

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Thursday, 29 August 2013 18:00 (ten years ago) link

pen name of Phil Listicle

Neil S, Thursday, 29 August 2013 18:03 (ten years ago) link

Uri Geller mystified by letterbox on Thames Sonning Bridge

sktsh, Tuesday, 10 September 2013 12:30 (ten years ago) link

Bridge got mad sonned. Shit was bananas.

sktsh, Tuesday, 10 September 2013 12:35 (ten years ago) link

"Residents of Sonning-on-Thames, Berkshire, said the box could only be reached by river users."

idembanana (abanana), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:05 (ten years ago) link

Geller: Is it true Bridge got sonned by a Thames over letterbox beef?

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link

well I guess it is an "onion article" of sorts

http://mobile.theverge.com/2013/9/10/4713256/groupon-india-onion-deal-crashes-website

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 14:35 (ten years ago) link

http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2013/09/highland_park_becomes_first_town_in_nj_to_ban_fracking.html

(just tbc, fracking in highland park nj is already exceedingly unlikely). Also:

The borough also banned nuclear weapons in the 1980s.)

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 18 September 2013 19:49 (ten years ago) link


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