why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

Some Catholic women have 23-day abortions every month!

― pplains, Tuesday, August 20, 2013 6:13 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i believe the preferred nomenclature is 'the rhythm method'

every unfertilized egg - a life, that was never conceived.

we are a part of the rhythm method

http://www.bayareaflashmob.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Janet-Jackson_l7.jpg

• Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 1h
Want to meet girls? Go outside when its raining with a huge umbrella and take your pick.

• Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 8h
Out of pillow cases? Use a t-shirt.

• Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 14h
Most cab drivers in Vegas are actually required to pay your entry fee into strip clubs if you ask them.

The line between real lifehacks and satirical lifehacks is getting mighty blurry.

"real lifehacks" lol

iirc that last one actually has some level of truth

Out of pillow cases? Consider two sets of bedding.

too depressed to get out of bed? bring your computer into bed with you! #lifehacks

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 19 Aug
Buy a world map shower curtain. You’ll become a geography expert from all the time you spend in the bathroom!

LIES, ALL LIES

Does your home smell like garbaggio? No time to clean? Hold your nose. That's a nose hack.

xp All those world map shower curtains use the Mercator projection!! IA!!!

took me forever to realize that Antarctica is actually a frozen desert and not the land of creeping mildew

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 11 Aug
Driving somewhere 30+ minutes away? Listen to a TED talk—it'll make the drive seem to go faster since it's less repetitive than music.

don't believe that nose hack that hoos mentioned, it is a bad idea, trust me

gd ted talks

hahaha lifehack people and TEDtalk people... a Venn diagram that's just one circle.

it'll make the drive seem to go faster since it's less repetitive than music

you sure about that? i'm not so sure about that.

OK I am really tired of people talking about that slowed-down version of Jolene...

The line between real lifehacks and satirical lifehacks is getting mighty blurry.

I swear, some of them I go "These people are fucking with me."

OK I am really tired of people talking about that slowed-down version of Jolene...

YES!

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 11 Aug
Driving somewhere 30+ minutes away? Listen to a TED talk—it'll make the drive seem to go faster since it's less repetitive than music.

or just listen to "everybody's free to wear sunscreen" and get two in one

OK I am really tired of people talking about that slowed-down version of Jolene...

try a TED talk slowed down by 25%, it's less repetitive

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 17 Aug
If someone says "I love you" and you don't feel the same way, say "I love YouTube" really fast.

Like that is ever going to happen to someone hacking their life.

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 3 Aug
Drink tons of apple juice before you go to bed. A chemical compound in the juice will help you to have vivid awesome dreams.

this is the worst advice!

a chemical compound in the juice will help you to get up for a piss at 3 in the morning

what can i do to hack other ppl's lives?

you, your friends, your accomplishments, all will eventually be dust #lifehacks

thirsty? try bleach! #lifehacks

i feel like strongo really needs to get onboard with these.

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 7 Aug
Live near a pizza place and need a ride to someone's house? Order them a pizza and ask the driver if you can get a lift.

Again, here's another one that's vaguely illegal.

xps Mordy I believe that's called gaslighting.

"live near a pizza place"

#lifehacks

I need to start a thread. Quit retweeting these guys and quit cluttering this thread. #omglifehacks.

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 31 Jul
Holding a banana peel over a bruise (for 10 to 30 minutes), will remove its color.

do you think people have tried this?

these are the same people that do omgfacts i think, gems like

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 15h

Jim Carrey sent Tupac funny letters while he was in prison!

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 17h

Carrots were originally purple in color, changing in the 17th century to orange with newer varieties.

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 17h

Dark chocolate has more iron than beef!

it's a lie, my banana peel is still yellow

Demonic Alvin & The Chipmunks >>>>> slow "Jolene"

they missed the best part of the "carrots used to be purple" story - the orange varieties were favoured to celebrated the Dutch House of Orange, allegedly

Got a neighbor you don't like who doesn't lock their doors? Go in to their house when they're out and move stuff around -- but only a little. #otherpeopleslifehacks

wait, dark chocolate doesn't have any beef, right?

okay you guys sent me down a horrifying Twitter wormhole and now I hate you

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 16 Aug

Want to cut a watermelon open without a knife? Take a quarter, make a small incision, and karate chop it in half. It seriously works!

@gallagherhacks

why are your quarters sharp enough to make incisions?

yay watermelon all over my hand! awesome hack!

cutting fruit with pocket change? doesn't sound very hygenic to me....

These monsters use t-shirts as pillow cases rather than do laundry. What do you expect?