why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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a chemical compound in the juice will help you to get up for a piss at 3 in the morning

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link

what can i do to hack other ppl's lives?

Mordy , Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:14 (ten years ago) link

you, your friends, your accomplishments, all will eventually be dust #lifehacks

thirsty? try bleach! #lifehacks

I tweeted too much and I am in jail. (crüt), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link

i feel like strongo really needs to get onboard with these.

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 7 Aug
Live near a pizza place and need a ride to someone's house? Order them a pizza and ask the driver if you can get a lift.

Again, here's another one that's vaguely illegal.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link

xps Mordy I believe that's called gaslighting.

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:16 (ten years ago) link

"live near a pizza place"

BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:16 (ten years ago) link

#lifehacks

BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:16 (ten years ago) link

I need to start a thread. Quit retweeting these guys and quit cluttering this thread. #omglifehacks.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:16 (ten years ago) link

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 31 Jul
Holding a banana peel over a bruise (for 10 to 30 minutes), will remove its color.

do you think people have tried this?

⚓ (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:17 (ten years ago) link

these are the same people that do omgfacts i think, gems like

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 15h

Jim Carrey sent Tupac funny letters while he was in prison!

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 17h

Carrots were originally purple in color, changing in the 17th century to orange with newer varieties.

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts 17h

Dark chocolate has more iron than beef!

BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:17 (ten years ago) link

it's a lie, my banana peel is still yellow

carlos danger zone (mh), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:18 (ten years ago) link

Demonic Alvin & The Chipmunks >>>>> slow "Jolene"

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:18 (ten years ago) link

they missed the best part of the "carrots used to be purple" story - the orange varieties were favoured to celebrated the Dutch House of Orange, allegedly

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:19 (ten years ago) link

Got a neighbor you don't like who doesn't lock their doors? Go in to their house when they're out and move stuff around -- but only a little. #otherpeopleslifehacks

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:20 (ten years ago) link

wait, dark chocolate doesn't have any beef, right?

Moodles, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:20 (ten years ago) link

okay you guys sent me down a horrifying Twitter wormhole and now I hate you

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:23 (ten years ago) link

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 16 Aug

Want to cut a watermelon open without a knife? Take a quarter, make a small incision, and karate chop it in half. It seriously works!

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:24 (ten years ago) link

@gallagherhacks

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:25 (ten years ago) link

why are your quarters sharp enough to make incisions?

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:26 (ten years ago) link

yay watermelon all over my hand! awesome hack!

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:26 (ten years ago) link

cutting fruit with pocket change? doesn't sound very hygenic to me....

Moodles, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:30 (ten years ago) link

These monsters use t-shirts as pillow cases rather than do laundry. What do you expect?

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:31 (ten years ago) link

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 17 Jul

Need to memorize something for a test? Tape it to your bathroom wall to review while sitting on the toilet. You'll memorize it in no time!

I tweeted too much and I am in jail. (crüt), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:32 (ten years ago) link

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 15 Aug

How to get upgraded to first class: http://bit.ly/11UOAzx

this is fucking hilarious

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:32 (ten years ago) link

please tell me it says "become a famous celebrity"

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:33 (ten years ago) link

Want to cut a watermelon open without a knife? Take a quarter, make a small incision, and karate chop it in half. It seriously works!

I'm not saying that works or it's smart, but at least it's literally a hack.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:34 (ten years ago) link

xp: Close!

1. Buy an upgrade
2. Volunteer to be bumped
3. Fly frequently
4. Fly alone
5. Smile!

^^^ cool hacks, never would have occurred to me

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:34 (ten years ago) link

They missed

6. hijack a plane

Moodles, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:35 (ten years ago) link

"geez, if only I could figure out a way to fly first class"
"have you considered buying an upgrade?"
"WOAH DUDE, AWESOME HACK" *high-five*

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:36 (ten years ago) link

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 17 Aug
How to get backstage at concerts and pretty much ANYWHERE: Wear a nice suit and walk quickly. People won't question you.

That's him, lower right.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meo7o6PwG61rgqc4go1_1280.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:41 (ten years ago) link

omg

I tweeted too much and I am in jail. (crüt), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:42 (ten years ago) link

kinda takes the "culture" out of "subculture"

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:42 (ten years ago) link

can we poll that photo

i am.. a maven (Matt P), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 19:46 (ten years ago) link

Wear a nice suit and walk quickly. People won't question you

please remember to be a white cis male when attempting this cool hack

⚓ (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:01 (ten years ago) link

my wife had an argument several years ago with a racist MIT undergrad who was temping for her where this girl actually claimed you could always spot really ghetto black people because they spent all of their money on nice clothes

my wife declined to renew the temp's contract IIRC, hopefully teaching this young woman the critical lesson that telling your boss she must be ghetto because she has on nice clothes is not a good career move

OH MY GOD HE'S OOGLY (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:05 (ten years ago) link

wait, how do you spot wealthy middle class black people then?

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:07 (ten years ago) link

polo shirts and khakis, same as everyone else

mh, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:08 (ten years ago) link

this system is flawed

beans on toast and ghosts (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:08 (ten years ago) link

omigod I know where that brony meet-up picture was taken. I've played that Xybots machine.

Your Own Personal El Guapo (kingfish), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:13 (ten years ago) link

guys this is... obviously a joke twitter account??

socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 20:52 (ten years ago) link

Would you bet your life on it?

I mean, the food kit. the ghetto air conditioner. the buzzfeedy "15 ways you can get free pizza" links.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:02 (ten years ago) link

bless you vegemite, but ffs.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/af4884b44bcec02fa60429f95afe42e8/tumblr_mrqsw5sIDy1srsdr2o1_500.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:10 (ten years ago) link

There is everything right with coffee cubes.

potatoes-in-law (Je55e), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:19 (ten years ago) link

Like drinking beer through a straw, which btw is also on there.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:22 (ten years ago) link

What non-existent problem is that supposed to solve?

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:23 (ten years ago) link

Coffee ice cubes? They keep your iced coffee cold without watering it down. I don't know what the fuck drinking beer through a straw is supposed to do, but in high school some people said it got you drunk faster.

potatoes-in-law (Je55e), Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:25 (ten years ago) link

how to get beer inside your mouth without tipping your head.

pplains, Tuesday, 20 August 2013 21:25 (ten years ago) link


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