why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

give someone a chocolate egg and it will make them happy #lifehack

it's a life heck (it makes your life heck)

It is totally the opposite of a lifehack! Martha Stewart is the anti-lifehacker.

ok this is obv a joke (tweeted from omglifehacks) but the first suggestion is killing me:

http://www.chacha.com/gallery/4021/how-to-trick-people-into-hanging-out-with-you

Exclusive Party

Anonymously invite people to an ultra-exclusive party with a special guest! Then build suspense over who it is. Have everyone wondering about this mystery person! Could it be...

A celebrity?
A professional athlete?
The owner of the local Pizza Hut?
That hilarious homeless guy from down the street?
They'll have to show up to find out! Little do they know that the special guest is you.

That reminds me of:

"Knock Knock"
Who's there?
"Meeeeeeeeeee"

Gets them every time

Or, it used to.

Life hackin' across the universe
On the website Pinterest, advice from stupid jerks

That hilarious homeless guy from down the street?

LIGHTEN UP, MENTAL ILLNESS IS HILARIOUS

http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/life-hacks-how-to-make-your-life-easier-8.jpg

God, that person must hate drinking water!

They'll have to show up to find out! Little do they know that the special guest is you.

http://simpsonsscreenshots.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/captainofthefootballteam.png

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/1236669_10151510214376152_392558347_n.jpg

no you dont understand life mom and dad

"you don't understand life"
"shut up you're five"

that teacher's name? mark david champman

oof typos vmic

that teacher's name? mark david champion

- Bob Marley

mark david champion the wonder horse

that john lennon story is so something a 20-something y/o dude or chick makes up to be all "i was so beyond everybody, even as a young genius child"

god why did i ever instagram an index card what is wrong with me

can the healing begin

Instead he grew up to be an abusive asshole iirc.

Little do they know that the special guest is you.

http://slacktory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/LastLinesFromGreatBooks-the-monster-at-the-end-of-this-book.jpg

https://sphotos-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1150183_699560966724650_1280945903_n.jpg

https://sphotos-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1098210_699559860058094_1384450857_n.jpg

https://sphotos-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/998080_699401356740611_161803390_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1001722_694460693901344_330233771_n.jpg

https://sphotos-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1157453_396762900424719_279206413_n.jpg

That's quite the harvest.

groanwing

stormcloudsgathering

a gathering front

a st0rmfr0nt if you will

i wasn't gonna say it!

http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/196015-1/Weatherman-fail.gif

Chico Buarque!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1186242_403240299776119_564744636_n.jpg

poster not a psychologist or a lawyer.

the law of feeling guilty

what is that even

i don't even know!

semicolon space open parenthesis

Argh I mean quote, whatever f u

it's from The Funny FARM

As a lawyer, that is a thing I yell a lot, so that seems pretty accurate to me.

lol

Another blow to political correctness:

Men are more intelligent than women.

"When Wechsler was developing his IQ test, he found that out of 105 tests assessing skills in solving maze-puzzles,
involving the most heterogeneous populations throughout the world,
99 showed an incontrovertible male superiority.
(Wechsler resolved this type of problem by eliminating all those tests

this shows up on my timeline not from a friend of mine, but because a facebook friend of mine commented to argue against it. he apparently is friends with lots of assholes and likes to argue with them (poorly) which means that then these second-order asshole posts end up on my fb too.

men are a-maze-ing

thank god we have so many maze puzzles

http://nextnature.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/mouse.jpg