Rolling Metal Thread 2009

"They don't live in a castle. OMGZ. Such loserz!!!!"

when all is said and done, i wonder who has seen and done more awesome things in their lives: metal internet blogger, or...

http://www.metalyou.com/img/history/p2.jpg

just read that blog, you guys werent kidding about it being cruel.

Yes, now no one will ever mistake them (or it) for being sissies to charity or the pure milk of human kindness.

pretty fucked up, imo

I didn't like MI's mocking of Eric Adams' drywalling job, that was unnecessary. However, anything that brings Joey DeMaio down a peg or two is fine.

How have Man O War (they) sinned? C'mon, tell us, how they've been predatory
assholes. Other than the big crime of being absurd and harmless boasters for over fifteen
years (which many of their fans know is a joke and enjoy.)

Y'know, there's an ocean of difference between saying someone's made a mediocre to lame
record and just randomly condemning a group because their rentals or properties aren't on the
Santa Barbara, CA, mesa. (And do you even know where this is?) I'm astonished this requires a protest.

How many metal communities could withstand scrutiny nailing them on not being economically superior? It seems to me there was a documentary on Anvil last year, one which was sincere and painful but which everyone chose to ignore. Who watched that?

OK, let's just agree to shit on those who boast and don't go multi-platinum in the US.

Y'know, if you're going to critique groups -- a valid thing. Do it on the basis of taste and leave the character and class assassinations aside -- unless they've really asked for it. (Country rock comes to mind as a better target than metal.) Twenty years ago anyone could have written they didn't like Manowar's first album because it was cheesy and OTT. (I really liked it.) It featured a vocal overdub by Orson Welles, the guy who made the alleged best movie ever, Citizen Kane, but who was better known then for endorsing cheap wine.

Did you learn any of this reading Metal Inquisition? Nope. And I've just tossed it off the
cuff. Wow. What a bunch of probers they are. The Manowar guys are lower middle classmen. Nominate that blog for a Pulitzer.

I can see how people reading that as an introductory point to Metal Inquisition would be sort of cheesed off by it but it fits into a really large proportion of what they write, which is this completely self-mocking and backhanded celebration of pseudo-idolatry in metal and, like, being a kid and thinking that bands who give it all that on stage must be really living the high life... then figuring out in later life that they're actually hopeless broke cases like yourself

Oh, so they're doing a community service by teaching kids that being a metal star isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Er, no

As a longtime Metal Inquisition reader, I'm gonna speak up for them. I think Mencap's got it right - look at the title of the blog: "Metal Inquisition." In an admittedly often mean-spirited way, they deflate metal, looking at where these guys really live (they did one on Joey Belladonna recently, too, though it wasn't nearly as in-depth as the Manowar one) or what they do outside of performing and recording, but at the same time they make fun of their own ridiculousness as obsessed fans of the genre. But it's done from a position of real fandom - I have no doubt that those guys really love Manowar's music, because who would do such a thing about a band they didn't care about? Look at their recent post on Suicidal Tendencies, or their whole "wigger slam" thing - they're obsessed with this weird sub-sub-variant of death metal that seems entirely confined to MySpace, and have written numerous posts lovingly describing ultra-obscure bands no one but meth-addled teenagers could ever possibly like. These guys are fans, and I think the post was funny and informative all at once. Besides, as Michael O'Donoghue said, "Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy."

^^^

seriously, read any of their posts about their lives as teenage metal nerds before you get too upset, dudes.

reading through this now and they've got some funny stuff. the post about "screamo crunk" is classic.

i thought it was funny. and mean as hell, and way too long, but the funny bits are funny. i laughted at "a fifteen year old American coupe with four cylinders that puts out a 'meh' inducing 110 horse power." (mostly due to "meh" nostalgia, but still.) also: "Joey, I don't care if you are the King Of Metal. You better be the King Of Weeding, go out there and take care of that driveway!" i dunno. i like the dumb shit.

meh nostalgia?

yeah things are becoming a little more clear

they are nerds ergo it is funny

:/

that site is great if for no other reason than directing me to this essential campaign:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ImYY_HdAPxI/SQpvSNATdvI/AAAAAAAAAAM/aVgD3BpPUA8/s1600-h/StriborgCampaign.jpg

ford probes are funny, striborg is really funny, talking about the price of people's houses isn't really that funny.

^

What everyone in this thread has failed to grasp, as well as the bros at Metal Inquisition, is that those aren't the houses where each member of Manowar lives. Those are each member's secret entrance to the cavernous Hall of Metal craved deep below the earth's surface.

"carved" too, dammit.

Ha, that could very well be true.

Say what you will about Manowar, I can't help but admire their little self-made empire. Few bands have that kind of freedom to allow them to be not so much musicians as auteurs.

craved could work, maybe like "craven"?

Whatever about the Manowar thing, Metal Inquisition are totally right about Origin.

"The Great Plains" sounds ridiculously great. Is Scale the Summit like that, generally?

I also love the Wolves In The Throne Room EP

Metal Inquisition is classic for "Rob Flynn's Disease" alone

yeah sometimes they mistake being assholes for being funny but whatevs that's pretty much everyone here innit

I just heard the new Lacuna Coil song, "Spellbound." I'm a little unsure what makes them more metal than, say, Evanescence. Was it a misperception I had that they were?

That new Lacuna Coil track sounds like In This Moment doing a song for the Twilight soundtrack. Not bad overall, but a little underwhelming too.

Meanwhile, it's been a day of good post-metal (or whatever you want to call it) for yours truly...first the impressive new Isis, and then my first listen to the new Irepress album, which is really knocking my socks off.

What did you think of the 2nd half of the Irepress?

I'm perfectly fine with it, sidestepping the heavy math stuff a little bit in favour of some Krautrock/Boards of Canada/King Crimson noodling.

is anybody even remotely considering the scion rockfest in atlanta this weekend? it's just a three-hour drive for me, and wow wotta lineup, but it seems to have potential for being a clusterfuck of apocalyptic proportions.

I would love to be there for it, but I wasn't going to pay for a flight down to Atlanta for a festival that I had about a 1% chance of actually getting into.

I'm going to try hard to be there.

OUTDOOR STAGE
1:00-1:40pm Kylesa
2:00-2:40pm Torche
3:00-3:40pm Baroness
4:00-4:50pm Boris
5:10-5:40pm Pig Destroyer
6:00-7:00pm High On Fire
7:30pm-9:00pm Neurosis
9:30pm-11:00pm Mastodon

INDOOR STAGE #1
1:10pm-1:55pm Evil Army
2:15pm-2:40pm Trash Talk
3:00pm-3:45pm Skeletonwitch
4:10pm-5:00pm Toxic Holocaust
5:20pm-6:05pm Warbringer
6:30pm-7:30pm Septic Flesh
8:30pm-9:30pm Cryptopsy
11:00pm-12:00am Converge

INDOOR STAGE #2
1:15pm-2:00pm Apocalyptic Visions
2:20pm-3:05pm Salome
3:25pm-4:10pm US Christmas
4:30pm-5:15pm Withered
5:35pm-6:25pm Krallice
6:45pm-7:45pm Wolves In The Throne Room
8:15pm-9:15pm Nachtmystium
10:25pm-11:25pm 1349

INDOOR STAGE #3
1:00pm-1:35pm Gaylord
1:55pm-2:30pm Suidakra
2:50pm-3:35pm Alestorm
3:55pm-4:40pm A Storm Of Light
5:00pm-5:45pm Harvey Milk
6:05pm-6:50pm Rwake
7:20pm-8:05pm Tyr
8:45pm-9:30pm Coalese
10:00pm-11:00pm Zoroaster

I could just camp out at the Outdoor stage all day and be thrilled. But that would mean missing Harvey Milk. And Krallice. And Nachtmystium. And Wolves in the Throne Room. And Toxic Holocaust. And Converge. And Skeletonwitch. Fuck it, maybe its a good thing I'm not going to be there.

yeah, that outdoor stage really hits a sweet spot with me. and then harvey milk! and nachtmystium! and converge! withered, too. and a bunch more i'd be happy to see.

but god the crowd.

Man, that show would be so much fun, but at the same time, I know I'd be devastated about missing several bands. Too many great bands in a single day! Harvey Milk on at the same time as Krallice and Pig Destroyer, 1349 on at the same time as Mastodon, Converge, and Zoroaster...so cruel!

So is that Lamb of God worth $9.99?

If you already like Lamb of God, yeah. I like the album (there are five or so songs that really knock me out), but still think the band played it a bit too safe on this one. They're starting to plagiarize themselves a little bit.

I've been kind of on the fence with 'em, thats why I asked. Wondered if this would be the one to push me over to their side.

^^^ given that lineup, it really oughtta be two days - if not 4. unbelievable cruelty in the decision making. start w kylesa, stick around for torshay, wander on over to skeletonwitch (debate baroness while buying beer, but decide against), maybe check out early to catch some US christmas?, but probably just stick around for toxic holocaust, leave early & run over to harvey milk, bum about pig destroyer getting lost in the shuffle, leave early and run over to krallice, (hold leave early and run over to HoF as backup) but stick around for nachtmystium. kill time til zoroaster. given the lines, probably couldn't even make it into half that stuff anyway.

Yeah, forgot about wanting to see US Christmas. Curious to see how they translate live.

Heh, guess I should have just headed over to PopMatters earlier this morning to get your thoughts Adrien!

Ha, yeah, I don't plug shamelessly enough. But to reiterate, if Lamb of God hasn't won you over yet, I doubt that the new one will. Ashes of the Wake is still your best bet.

Looking forward to seeing them again in April...

Yeah, that's the thing. I thought Ashes of the Wake was decent, but the 2 or 3 tracks I heard off Sacrament didn't do much for me at all - so I never listened to the whole thing.

http://www.nme.com/reviews/lamb-of-god/10140

That's almost as weird as the thought of Pitchfork reviewing Lamb of God.

Is it a sign that Lamb Of God are past it? I hated their last album. I despised Pantera so I hate it when a band imitates them. I did enjoy their previous albums though. But that last one really put me off.