why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/some-stupid-thing-making-the-rounds-among-your-fac,33644/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151175254591894&set=a.283071796893.180582.500351893&type=1&ref=nf

xp to too much time on ilx fyi

https://sphotos-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/559065_10151175254591894_170483541_n.jpg

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that macro so much

jfc

and FUCK warner brothers in general

yes. yes. fuck your quirky i'm a special individualistic star memes in the face for eternity.

ALERTS TO THREATS
IN 2013 EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Life is too short...

Based on a date-limited Google search, it looks like this thing was born around November 2005. As far as I can tell, no source using this in 2007 or earlier attempts to attribute this to Cleese, although on this undated page someone named Khorne says that the joke reminds him of a different joke told by Cleese. It also looks like the joke grows to include more countries over time, so it's likely there is no single creator.

the archaeology of idiot memes is going to produce some great books in the future

ALERTS TO THREATS
IN 2013 EUROPE

[...]

Australia, meanwhile

they have history of getting involved tbf

fightin round the world etc

ahem "Born in NEW ZEALAND in '64"

everything is our business

everything

I don't know too many people as bitter as me about shit like this and pop culture in person. Thanks for enabling, ilx.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/521421_597498496946445_1579282888_n.jpg

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1170702_675502442460361_1236981379_n.jpg

Ah, so the road runner has been persecuting him all this time...

Weird choice of cartoon character to illustrate that point. xp heh.

Wile E Coyote seems like the sort of dude who would slowly sink into a state of unjustified victimhood over the years

a bit proto-MRA. Why does the Road Runner keep rudely rebuffing him? It can't be anything he's doing wrong, can it?

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2881/9620061865_8d0f7675f0.jpg

Damn, too slow with my fauxtoshop skills.

A+ work

looks like a bunch of people are sharing this:

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/aOqmV36_700b_v3.jpg

@WhiteFeminist would be proud!!

i guess times have changed but when i was in junior school they insisted we had at least a rudimentary understanding of the subject before we busted out our crayons

LEAVE WHITEY ALONE

can I get a privilege check on register 1 please

oh i get it: stickman = strawman. hilarious comic,g reat posting.

women and racial minorities will be agreed that unkindness is what makes society bad.

oh my god i finally get it. racism is just... people being mean!!

let's put an end to police impoliteness.

AN UNKIND THING TO SAY TO A PERSON

institutional meanness is an important social issue

Kindness is always worth stanning for. otoh, using that as a reason to say racism or sexism are not worth calling out is so wrongheaded I can't even begin.

*gets attacked by mob of ppl yelling gay slurs* wow mean

*gets shuttled onto the professional mommy track and paid 25% less than male colleagues* So unkind!

*gets caught by bounty hunters, tortured and sent to u.s. prison indefinitely without trial* be nicer!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/558593_658329497103_998171637_n.jpg

imaginary Christians ask the toughest theological questions huh

I really hate that guy.

Like, can you imagine just hanging out with Penn Jilette? Just getting coffee or whatever? Ugh, awful.

I hang out with Penn Jilette all I want.

lol

i used to like him when i thought he had magical powers

a quick google, the only google I'm currently willing to commit to, doesn't bring up any more evidence that he actually said this than John Cleese said that thing above, although I'll grant you that this one sits a bit more comfortably

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/01/22/is-atheism-a-religion/atheism-should-end-religion-not-replace-it

Taking Sides: Atheism or Cargo Shorts?

Ironically, the Gillette thing is sort of an argument for religion

the house he grew up in is right down the road from me. he still owns it and rents it out.

I hang out with Penn Jilette all I want.

― crüt, Thursday, August 29, 2013 12:41 PM (25 minutes ago)

ahahaha

i have to say I am sooooooooo fucking over smug atheist FB macros

like, you know you sound like a smug evangelist, right?

they can all diaf afaic