why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

peculiar mix of US and UK English as per. i swear if i ever hear a Brit use the word "ghetto" in a context that isn't historical or quoting a song title i will crotch-punch the fucker

is that #22

if you ever hear an American use it you should still do that because it is almost always a racist

yeah i know i think my objection is to Brits incorporating extra racist euphemisms when we have a broad and nuanced selection of our own

"joined up writing" is a Britishism, right? Do Americans say that?

That list is one of the worst things posted in the thread. Every single item makes me want to argue back with the poster (for different reasons), the style is atrocious and deflates even the potential for some kind of snappy comic rhythm or EVEN Chicken Soup For The Soul 'words of wisdom,' they meander between statements and questions for no reason, the premise that the author is an 'adult' seems flimsy at best, and basically it all sounds like hastily-jotted ideas for a really painful, lumpy stand-up routine. And ugggggh the cutesyness. I can just hear the badly-concealed desperation for a laugh, the 'performance' notes leaking into what was a totally natural conversation before this person came in. All that's missing is ''Chocolate? Equals yum. YOU know what I'm talking about, biyotch!''

the compiled wisdom of a very boring person

Things You Didn't Know As A Teenager

1) Make sure to see check itemizing your deductions can help your taxes.
2) Car insurance rates can vary drastically based on your record and provider.
3) Where did I put my keys again?
4) Make sure to keep plenty of quarters for laundry.
5) Eating plenty of fish can be good for your health.

lmao at a world in which "How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?" is an Undeniable Truth

there's also a really easy way to "start at 5" with google maps directions. You just start at 5.

i can't fold fitted sheets neatly to be fair but i'm coping

This is the one that really got me boggling at that list: 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Errrr.... they do?

Not all of them.

Ours don't, and let me tell you something, it would be much more informative for me if I knew whether or not that guy my age died in a motorcycle accident or from a heart attack.

or bizarre gardening accident

"joined up writing" was stage 2 in the joined up thinking about joined up thinking iirc

http://www.webanswers.com/post-images/8/85/BCB3A043-C100-419B-9E0652ECFF84A7CF.jpg

Not that I bother, they go straight back on the bed.

Sweet lifehack

I assume we've done this shit already:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/999716_432528283528322_590125093_n.jpg

It's not even right for this October anyway.

There are only 14 calendars and seven of those are for leap years. Any given "October" is going to cycle through at least once every 20 years or so, if not more.

haha, a couple of times now, I think -- pretty sure it's looking more and more fucked up each time though. At some point that text's gonna be unreadable.

Sounds like a good plot device for a horror movie. Every 823, an ancient demon arises and kills via cursed money... This October, you'd better watch out for... MoneyBags!

*823 years.

Tagline for the horror movie's right there, too:
"Can't hurt so I did it :)"

would watch.

this is called moneybags

money bags

I've been doing it all wrong, mine has been based on Ugandan Feng Shui. ;_;

Why is it called Money Bags?

cuz you got bags of money, also cuz Money Dags is an anagram of Day Gnomes.

When image macro tropes fight each other

http://imgur.com/gallery/GkfZYTC

and then

http://i.imgur.com/FLqJPlA.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xvBG4Ti.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xgSRhBw.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/FzALNr0.jpg

omg lol

hahahaha

3. I take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

A Talking Cat? movie is my new favorite Facebook friend.

https://sphotos-a-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1239857_577451648985295_1680621280_n.jpg

There are only 14 calendars and seven of those are for leap years. Any given "October" is going to cycle through at least once every 20 years or so, if not more.

Yeah, it's not rocket science to work that out, the 823 years is a particularly inspired bit of exaggerated bullshit. I'm also kinda sneakily impressed some fucker got it in circulation this year when it's not even one of the years when it's true.

brb sharing that image on facebook

the money bags meme is edited and passed around every month, pretty sure it's been on this thread at least once before

several times even

this is called memey bags

irl lol

WRITTEN BY A 21-YEAR OLD FEMALE...

PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal legations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good.."

Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov't subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov't welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

ooh la la, frozen pizza.

WRITTEN BY A 21-YEAR OLD FEMALE...

''For you to vote would be a conflict of interest.'' is my favorite sentence of the week.

Some hellish landscape she is painting there.

This looks familiar...

http://i.imgur.com/p4qQLH6.jpg

but hey wouldn't that violate someone's ri... oh cool you've got that covered never mind good post

here are the keys to "us gov't"