why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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i think she's really turned her life around

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 7 September 2013 15:02 (ten years ago) link

y so sad hott rosy cheeked manga girl?

'Understand, your daughter's addiction is not your problem' (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 7 September 2013 15:44 (ten years ago) link

I THINK WE SHOULD ALL READ THIS AND DO WHAT IT SUGGESTS. iT IS NOT MY STORY BUT IT REALLY TOUCHED ME.

While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer.

I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen.

Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their uniforms,
As they began h...eading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone)
Was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.

When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for,
It hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded Briton who still loves this country
And supports our troops and their families.
Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes
Who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work, and enjoy our home without fear of reprisal.

Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women a young girl,
Not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers.

He knelt down and said 'hi,' the little girl then asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her.

The young soldier didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy.

Suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter’s name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in Afghanistan for 5 months now.

As the mum was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up.

When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second.

Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie.

They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it.

After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.'

He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a Kiss on the cheek.

He finished by saying 'Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.'

The mum at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mum.

I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded.

As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause.

As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own.

That young soldier in one last act of moment turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.

We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices.

At the end of the day, it's good to be an Englishman.

RED FRIDAYS

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday.

The reason?

Englishmen and women who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'.

We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home in record breaking numbers.

We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing.

We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.
Many English people, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Britain supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every Briton who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.

By word of mouth, press, TV, let's make Great Britain on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football team

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long before Britain is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...'We need your support and your prayers'...

Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON

IF YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE.

THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED----

wends (bends), Saturday, 7 September 2013 17:21 (ten years ago) link

let's make Great Britain on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football team

'Understand, your daughter's addiction is not your problem' (Bananaman Begins), Saturday, 7 September 2013 17:25 (ten years ago) link

This my favourite bit:

When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second.

Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie.

They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it.

wends (bends), Saturday, 7 September 2013 17:32 (ten years ago) link

I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded.

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Saturday, 7 September 2013 17:56 (ten years ago) link

Never underestimate the power of these kinds of apocryphal stories. They powered the Reader's Digest juggernaut for decades. Hell, they were the vast bulk of premodern literature.

Aimless, Saturday, 7 September 2013 18:11 (ten years ago) link

Society is in the airport, no more than 6 feet away

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 7 September 2013 18:11 (ten years ago) link

As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own.

Øystein, Saturday, 7 September 2013 18:14 (ten years ago) link

Now I may not be no fancy native English speakin' sorta feller, but goddamn, that's some shit

Øystein, Saturday, 7 September 2013 18:14 (ten years ago) link

"temporarily single"

crüt zingmaster (crüt), Saturday, 7 September 2013 18:26 (ten years ago) link

Why were they at the airport if the husband wasn't due to return from his tour of duty that day?

cardamon, Saturday, 7 September 2013 20:23 (ten years ago) link

They were there to get his coffin, I guess. Wife was crying because she was angry as hell at those assholes who made her daughter think her dad was alive after all. (Hah, I think this might be an even more sentimental story than the original. Goodie)

Øystein, Saturday, 7 September 2013 20:26 (ten years ago) link

just put on a red t-shirt, to be on the safe side

Neil S, Saturday, 7 September 2013 20:33 (ten years ago) link

"We get no liberal media coverage on TV"

Wonder if they're using this to mean 'there are no liberal doses of coverage' or if it's being deployed in the rush limbovian sense

sktsh, Saturday, 7 September 2013 21:09 (ten years ago) link

"am i limbovvered?"

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 7 September 2013 21:17 (ten years ago) link

^ hahahah

Andrew Kornfan, Saturday, 7 September 2013 21:31 (ten years ago) link

the original story clearly started off in US English as per so i won't hold my breath for this becoming a thing

iMacaroon dragoons (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 7 September 2013 23:17 (ten years ago) link

enjoy our home without fear of reprisal

Reprisal is an interesting word choice there. There can be no reprisal against you without your having earlier done someone a harm without redress or reparation.

Aimless, Saturday, 7 September 2013 23:29 (ten years ago) link

Never underestimate the power of these kinds of apocryphal stories. They powered the Reader's Digest juggernaut for decades. Hell, they were the vast bulk of premodern literature.

― Aimless, Saturday, September 7, 2013 2:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha i read that as 'postmodern literature' and thought "wow that's a pretty rough slam, but i'm not so sure it applies to the _bulk_ of Barthelme's work..."

oh weird i read the same thing and thought "i don't care enough about postmodern lit to try to figure out what that means"

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Sunday, 8 September 2013 01:42 (ten years ago) link

second to last is not a horrible idea tbf

zingon grammar (Treeship), Sunday, 8 September 2013 02:27 (ten years ago) link

finally, a lifehack for when i'm being buried alive

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Sunday, 8 September 2013 02:31 (ten years ago) link

stick your head in the toilet bowl and flush it.
this will have the effect of drowning you and making me very happy.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 8 September 2013 02:32 (ten years ago) link

bake some damn cinnamon rolls
your house will smell like a bakery

i too went to college (silby), Sunday, 8 September 2013 02:38 (ten years ago) link

"if you'r ever being buried alive" is a death-hack, surely?

I guess it was only a matter of time before the damn "worst case scenario survival guide" material started showing up in these.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:30 (ten years ago) link

how the fuck are you even gonna be in a situation where someone's burying you alive and you're in any way capable of doing any of that

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:33 (ten years ago) link

if you're ever being buried alive, you should have thought of that before you pissed off bill

if you're ever being buried alive, fuck i shoulda checked the pulse before i panicked i guess

guys can we not talk about this sort of morbid stuff? i am in a bit of trouble right now with some really powerful people and would rather not contemplate being buried alive.

james franco, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:36 (ten years ago) link

thank u

james franco, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:36 (ten years ago) link

sorry jho

mookieproof, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:38 (ten years ago) link

The span of time between getting that signal that I'm about to vomit and actually vomiting is only slightly longer than knowing I'm about to sneeze. How I'm supposed to eat ice cream during that moment is beyond me.

Unless I'm trying to induce the vomiting. Butterscotch praline coconut, here I come!

pplains, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:42 (ten years ago) link

and remember, whey you're getting buried alive, try not to get buried alive

Neil S, Sunday, 8 September 2013 08:20 (ten years ago) link

remember to tie the shirt around both your face and mouth, not just your face.

wends (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:15 (ten years ago) link

If you're ever being buried alive, throw yourself into your panic with full gusto (you probably won't get much choice in this, but it's actually best not to keep a clear head). There are few moments in life when one gets to really unleash an all-consuming, sanity-rending panic. Such a level of primal terror is probably so overwhelming what it's debatable to what extent it can even be called a 'conscious' event. You're unlikely to experience thoughts anywhere near as lucid as 'Oh God, I'm being buried alive'. In the face of such an unpleasant end, panic induced insanity may shield from the full consciousness of your death.
You probably shouldn't take off your shirt and try to tie it around your face and mouth, that's kind of ridiculous.

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:30 (ten years ago) link

Oh God, can't believe I just wrote that - just a brief thought on what possible advice you could give someone who's being buried alive and now I'm not gonna sleep for days. Sorry. :(

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:31 (ten years ago) link

Also, panic might use up oxygen faster (I'm not gonna stop thinking about this now. Thanks a lot, macro makers/sharers)

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:34 (ten years ago) link

sorry jho

― mookieproof, Saturday, September 7, 2013 11:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what no

lag∞n, Sunday, 8 September 2013 13:24 (ten years ago) link

otm, trees should invest more in brand recognition

Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:01 (ten years ago) link

lol wtf

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:01 (ten years ago) link

ahahahahaha

crüt zingmaster (crüt), Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:34 (ten years ago) link

A+

Moodles, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:34 (ten years ago) link

cannabis showing the plant world how you do that shit

Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:35 (ten years ago) link

lmao

lag∞n, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:41 (ten years ago) link


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