why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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forgot it's the lack of trees melting the ice caps

^^ post obviously honoring and supporting Qualcomm (zachlyon), Monday, 21 October 2013 02:38 (ten years ago) link

I'm certainly not anti-tree but tbh I thought most of the breathable oxygen on the planet was produced by algae. Save the planet, grow some pond scum.

Viceroy, Monday, 21 October 2013 02:39 (ten years ago) link

fuck you i'll eat all the pond scum i want

^^ post obviously honoring and supporting Qualcomm (zachlyon), Monday, 21 October 2013 02:45 (ten years ago) link

fucking bleeding hearts

^^ post obviously honoring and supporting Qualcomm (zachlyon), Monday, 21 October 2013 02:45 (ten years ago) link

yeah phytoplankton in general i think

balls, Monday, 21 October 2013 03:04 (ten years ago) link

tiny little floating trees

three times a LAD (seandalai), Monday, 21 October 2013 12:42 (ten years ago) link

imagine if pond scum gave off wifi signals

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:23 (ten years ago) link

Pretty rad to live in such a free country and yet have to pledge your allegiance.

I got sent to the principal's office in hs for not standing up and saying it. Then they called my parents bc I wasn't 18 yet or some nonsense

dell (del), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:24 (ten years ago) link

I had to bring in a Note

dell (del), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:28 (ten years ago) link

*Cum's*
October 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm
*Cum’s*

ian, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:28 (ten years ago) link

http://boringasheck.com/2013/10/21/science-for-the-epic-motherfreaking-win/

― dell (del), Monday, October 21, 2013 11:06 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ty

^^ post obviously honoring and supporting Qualcomm (zachlyon), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:32 (ten years ago) link

Tesla much? He’s epic as hell, which, by the way, is where Edison is. Or he would be, if hell was a real place, which it’s not. That reminds me, you see that image macro about how stupid those failshit Christians are? Bacon for the win.

lmfao

lag∞n, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 05:40 (ten years ago) link

She dared to eat with her mouth wide open

as a chocolate salesperson (ledge), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 10:17 (ten years ago) link

which is how she got the infection

if i could just chimp in for a moment (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 11:01 (ten years ago) link

aorta be a law against it

gotta lol geir (NickB), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 11:03 (ten years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/sai9fCx.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 13:24 (ten years ago) link

guilty lol

mh, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 13:58 (ten years ago) link

omg haaaaaa

Bitch Fantastic (DJP), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 14:03 (ten years ago) link

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/10006_575963929118849_3945665_n.jpg

Stiiiiiiiiiill falling for it.

steames artpop (how's life), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 15:35 (ten years ago) link

So, is there going to be a big party in two years, minus one day, then?

Mark G, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 16:00 (ten years ago) link

http://martymcflyarrivestoday.tumblr.com

lag∞n, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 16:05 (ten years ago) link

POLICE INFORMATION

The first bit is mainly for women, but gents , please read it and send it on to any women you care about. The second bit is a warning to all of us!

Some sound advice for us all, as we all sometimes forget to take our commonsense with us when we go out.
This is from Northants Police Women.....

Please read, and pass on.

An important message from the Police -
please pass this along to all the women you know.....

This actually happened a few weeks ago on the M3 FLEET SERVICES!!!

It was early evening, and a young girl stopped to get petrol. She filled her tank and walked into the store to pay for her petrol. The cashier told her, 'Don't pay for your petrol yet......walk around the store for a while, and act as if you're picking up some other things to buy. A man just got into the back of your car. I've called the police, and they're on their way'.

When the police arrived, they found the man in the back seat of the girl's car and asked him what he was doing. He replied, he was joining a gang, and the initiation to join is to kidnap a woman and bring her back to the gang to be raped by every member of the gang. If the woman was still alive by the time they finish with her then they let her go. According to the police that night, there is a new gang forming here, originating from London . The scary part of this is, because the guy didn't have a weapon on him, the police could only charge him with trespassing....

He's back on the street and free to try again. Something similar to this happened at the Tesco garage on Cardiff Road in Newport recently, but luckily the cashier saw the man get into her car. Please be aware of what's going on around you, and warn your family and friends.

LADIES, you or one of your family or friends could be the next victim. Please forward this on to everyone you know. Please do not discard this message; it is very important that everyone knows what is happening. Please be careful when leaving your vehicle, and make sure it is ALWAYS LOCKED to prevent this from happening to you.

MET POLICE

In light of the recent kidnapping and now murder of Leigh Mathews, I think it is important to read the following info for your own safety. Things women should know to stay safe: Please take the time to read these pointers. There may be just one or two you hadn't thought of. After reading this, forward it to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. if a robber asks for your handbag, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you..... He is probably more interested in your handbag than you, and he will go for the handbag. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. if you are ever thrown into the boot of a car: Kick out the back tail lights, and stick your arm through the hole and start waving. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their cheque book, or making a list). DON'T DO THIS! A predator could be watching you and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, and attack you. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in car park:

a) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, look at the passenger side floor, and check the back seat.

b) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most attacker’s surprise their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the shop, or work, and get guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the lift instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone, and the perfect crime spot.

7. if the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT BE A VITAL ORGAN

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women, He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another safety point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her, 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way. Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes, thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls from women saying that they hear babies' cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life.

A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. Send this to any woman you know who may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it, and it's better safe than sorry.

TO ALL CAR OWNERS AND CAR DRIVERS: PLEASE READ

Warning!!!! Be aware of new car-jacking scheme ..You walk across the car park, unlock your car and get inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine and shift or put into reverse. You look into the rear-view mirror to back out of your parking space, and you notice apiece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift the gear stick back into park or neutral, unlock your doors and jump out of your car to remove that paper, or whatever it is that is obstructing your view.
When you reach the back of your car that is when the car-jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and takeoff!! Your engine was running, you would have left your purse in the car, and they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.
BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED IN LONDON , MANCHESTER , AND MAKING ITS WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!

Just drive away, and remove the paper later! It is stuck to your window, and be thankful that you read this email. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women! A purse contains all identification, and you certainly do NOT want someone getting your home address. They already HAVE you keys!

JUST BE AWARE AND TAKE CARE -- IT WILL PROBABLY SOON ARRIVE IN YOUR AREA....

In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:01 (ten years ago) link

jfc, what interests me is who decides to regionalize these things? pretty sure this one started out as a US thing

such a classic irl (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:03 (ten years ago) link

Jesus Christ

steames artpop (how's life), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:03 (ten years ago) link

POLICE ALERT! The bogeyman is coming to your town, probably sooner than later. Pass this along to the people you care about.

Aimless, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:04 (ten years ago) link

sorry, correction, "pretty sure" = "fucking certain"

such a classic irl (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:04 (ten years ago) link

"tail lights", "park or neutral", yep, that's an authentic Metropolitan Police gor blimey guvnor press release alright

such a classic irl (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:05 (ten years ago) link

just file this whole thing under "what the fuck is wrong with people?" i guess

such a classic irl (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:06 (ten years ago) link

The murder referred to as recent was from South Africa about ten years ago, iirc.

Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:09 (ten years ago) link

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed.

"Left-wing" poptimism: An infantile disorder (oppet), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:11 (ten years ago) link

Rule number one of Memecycling:

If it says "this actually happened" in the first paragraph, you can be 99.9% sure it did not.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:24 (ten years ago) link

I like how the list gets progressively more ridiculous. They put some thought into it.

Luigi Nono le petit robot, actually, saves Christmas (seandalai), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:41 (ten years ago) link

I think most memes of this ilk are bored folk who want to play an IRL game of telephone and see how far their prank can spread and how much it can morph after it's circulated through thousands of morons.

at least, that sounds like something I'd do.

nothing is funnier than when I get the meme-forward at work warning us to be careful about pumping gas, because someone is hiding needles infected with AIDS under the pumps.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 20:43 (ten years ago) link

It used to be needles in the change return slot of pay phones but they don't make those anymore.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 21:20 (ten years ago) link

It is stuck to your window, and be thankful that you read this email.

Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 21:25 (ten years ago) link

you guys laugh, but when I laugh the razorblade scar in my mouth from that apple I got when trick-or-treating when I was eight years old hurts and it triggers an acid flashback from the acid I unwittingly took by putting a sticker from a stranger on my skin when I was five

mh, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 21:26 (ten years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BXNmZoEIgAA5OLj.jpg

deez so unusual (some dude), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 22:28 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ISLeHByD-I

real men, earlier today

nemo me chimpune lacessit (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 22 October 2013 22:30 (ten years ago) link

This one got sent around my workplace about five years ago.

I got as far as "gents, pass this onto any women you know", because, obv, women can't work computers, etc.

Funny thing is, if you refute these things to the person who passed it onto you, they can get rather sulky..

My opening reply started: "It's always a good idea to lock your car when going to pay, people nick things. But..." and so on.

Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 08:36 (ten years ago) link

Besides which, its much harder than that to join the Hartley Wintney massive.

Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 08:38 (ten years ago) link

My favourite is probably the attempted kidnap/gang initiation story, how the guy is all o hai i was going to kidnap this woman so me and the rest of the SE20 Cut Dem Up Crew could gang rape her kthxbai

In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 08:45 (ten years ago) link

Snopes has line-by-line refutations of most of those line-by-line things (e.g. Ted Bundy didn't walk with a cane, throwing yr handbag away is rubbish thing to do, etc)

Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:01 (ten years ago) link

I guess one day a baby is going to die of exposure on someones doorstep because of this stuff

In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 09:27 (ten years ago) link

Or, at the very least, not get a free tape player.

Mark G, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 10:09 (ten years ago) link

my favorite is the stock pic of a baby on life support with scary block text that says IF THIS BABY GETS 1,000 LIKES, HIS HEART SURGERY IS FREE.

"Sorry, he had a good run, but we're locked in at 985 here. Pull the plug."

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 12:54 (ten years ago) link

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/mst3k/images/1/12/Crowsolo.jpg

IF THIS PUPPET GET 1,000 LIKES, HE GETS TO DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 14:20 (ten years ago) link

https://www.facebook.com/pages/MY-SISTER-SAID-IF-I-GET-ONE-MILLION-FANS-SHE-WILL-NAME-HER-BABY-MEGATRON/333067975442

hit the million mark in 13 days. he was born 8/3/2010, named dylan. we're all very upset it wasn't Megatron, but thank you all for the support.

ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 17:03 (ten years ago) link

If one million people permanently delete their Facebook accounts, I will name my baby Megatron.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 18:10 (ten years ago) link


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