why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

POLICE ALERT! The bogeyman is coming to your town, probably sooner than later. Pass this along to the people you care about.

sorry, correction, "pretty sure" = "fucking certain"

"tail lights", "park or neutral", yep, that's an authentic Metropolitan Police gor blimey guvnor press release alright

just file this whole thing under "what the fuck is wrong with people?" i guess

The murder referred to as recent was from South Africa about ten years ago, iirc.

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed.

Rule number one of Memecycling:

If it says "this actually happened" in the first paragraph, you can be 99.9% sure it did not.

I like how the list gets progressively more ridiculous. They put some thought into it.

I think most memes of this ilk are bored folk who want to play an IRL game of telephone and see how far their prank can spread and how much it can morph after it's circulated through thousands of morons.

at least, that sounds like something I'd do.

nothing is funnier than when I get the meme-forward at work warning us to be careful about pumping gas, because someone is hiding needles infected with AIDS under the pumps.

It used to be needles in the change return slot of pay phones but they don't make those anymore.

It is stuck to your window, and be thankful that you read this email.

you guys laugh, but when I laugh the razorblade scar in my mouth from that apple I got when trick-or-treating when I was eight years old hurts and it triggers an acid flashback from the acid I unwittingly took by putting a sticker from a stranger on my skin when I was five

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BXNmZoEIgAA5OLj.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ISLeHByD-I

real men, earlier today

This one got sent around my workplace about five years ago.

I got as far as "gents, pass this onto any women you know", because, obv, women can't work computers, etc.

Funny thing is, if you refute these things to the person who passed it onto you, they can get rather sulky..

My opening reply started: "It's always a good idea to lock your car when going to pay, people nick things. But..." and so on.

Besides which, its much harder than that to join the Hartley Wintney massive.

My favourite is probably the attempted kidnap/gang initiation story, how the guy is all o hai i was going to kidnap this woman so me and the rest of the SE20 Cut Dem Up Crew could gang rape her kthxbai

Snopes has line-by-line refutations of most of those line-by-line things (e.g. Ted Bundy didn't walk with a cane, throwing yr handbag away is rubbish thing to do, etc)

I guess one day a baby is going to die of exposure on someones doorstep because of this stuff

Or, at the very least, not get a free tape player.

my favorite is the stock pic of a baby on life support with scary block text that says IF THIS BABY GETS 1,000 LIKES, HIS HEART SURGERY IS FREE.

"Sorry, he had a good run, but we're locked in at 985 here. Pull the plug."

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/mst3k/images/1/12/Crowsolo.jpg

IF THIS PUPPET GET 1,000 LIKES, HE GETS TO DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES

https://www.facebook.com/pages/MY-SISTER-SAID-IF-I-GET-ONE-MILLION-FANS-SHE-WILL-NAME-HER-BABY-MEGATRON/333067975442

hit the million mark in 13 days. he was born 8/3/2010, named dylan. we're all very upset it wasn't Megatron, but thank you all for the support.

If one million people permanently delete their Facebook accounts, I will name my baby Megatron.

wow that sister is such a bullshit asshole liar everyone shd call the kid megatron anyway

Like this post or Megatron will enslave you and steal your power cubes

http://sportsrants.com/sportsinmyveins/files/2012/08/megatron.jpg

if this post gets 1 million fps i will turn into a handgun

hahaha

I URGE ALL MY FRIENDS TO READ & SHARE THIS; YOU COULD SAVE A LOVED ONES LIFE BY KNOWING THIS SIMPLE INFORMATION!!! Stroke has a new indicator! They say if you forward this to ten people, you stand a chance of saving one life. Will you send this along?

[bizarre anecdote about a woman having a stroke at a bbq and dying]

[reasonable advice on 'stroke indicators']

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. I have done my part. Will you?

if misusing semicolons is 'doing my part', then no

OMFG PEOPLE

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/7799/02of.jpg

THE LYRIC IS "I BLESS THE RAINS', ERGO RENDERING YOUR JOKE UNFUNNY AND STUPID. STOP SHARING THIS GIF.

I don't care if it sounds like I'm on Lukather's dick, UNFUNNY IS UNFUNNY

lol

good to know it's "bless." you know, down there in africa.

https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1381825_10202125912170499_1198647045_n.jpg

hey, we've all walked past the mental hospital the other day

those lunatics are suspiciously organized, doesnt bode well for the future of this great nation

you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it sure helps.

http://i.snag.gy/A3Xym.jpg

Haha!

I always thought it was "I guess the rain's down in Africa."

I guess it rains down in Africa? I mean, I dunno.

Not that I ever thought it out, but my impression was that there was some guy in England pondering the drought and he's like, I guess the rain's down in Africa. Also, something about My Fair Lady.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/74420_433372790081826_639080661_n.jpg

Acquaintance just posted this. At least put some effort into it...

you all share one poorly formed heart

TS will.x vs will.i.am

gonna start one about "if you're in favour of child abuse", see how it takes off

Re-post this if you're against children.

if I said you had a beautiful child

NOBODY FINISH THAT SENTENCE