ilx posts with striking imagery

lmao

hahahahaha

He woke up to find his bookshelf empty and cake crumbs on all over his pillow

treesh will do well to post as well as that again

we all will

http://s3.amazonaws.com/quietus_production/images/articles/1994/sir_patrick_moore_1246283574_crop_550x367.jpg

Where the hell does someone even buy trousers like that?

― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:42 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If he pulled them up any higher, he'd have to cut armholes in the sides.

― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:50 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Just remove the lining from the pockets and put his arms through the holes.

― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:52 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, that would also have the secondary benefit of stopping his car keys from chaffing his nipples.

― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:55 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Legendary Hearts IS a better song record but it's so austere about its flourishes it's downright Presbyterian; when a solo shows up on "Make Up My Mind" or "Home of the Brave" it's like a favorite aunt serving you wine.

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The thing is, a lot of the appeal of vinyl is how cool it is. Not hipster cool, really, but it feels cool to put a record on cos they sound good and look good, and for sure there's a kind of joy in participating in a ritual of aural reproduction that goes way back, and a lot of record players - vintage and modern ones alike - look great in the home and blah blah blah.

When I go to visit my mum, a pristine woman whose house looks like a mid-range hotel, I'm always shocked to visit her bathroom. She has these air fresheners set up that periodically spray their stuff, often right at me as I'm doing a piss or worse. I don't know whether they're on a timer or there is some kind of motion detection going on, but it is definitely uncool. I can't really bring it up, but I am tempted to tell her that these attempts to obliterate all that is unpleasant in life make me feel weird. I gotta take a shit, mum, and I don't like to be made to feel unwelcome while I do. Furthermore, I understand that you have to take a shit from time to time, and if you're trying to use technology to hide this fact from everyone, it's failing - I can think of little else when I'm in there. I imagine you shitting and the panic you must feel at being revealed as a person who commits these violations of familial order. What's more, I'm inclined to introduce the smelliest, most virulent and unflushable shit into your bathroom and see how your systems can deal with that. It's really a provocation.

That's how I would think of anyone who had one of these record players in their house.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, November 17, 2013 5:59 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark

i don't particularly mind the fleet foxes record tbh but they do sort of remind me of the guy that got expelled from my school for allegedly bunking off PE to go and hump a log in the woods behind the sports hall

― but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Monday, November 18, 2013 10:12 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not exactly 'knockout', but when I was 17/18 I was walking down the street and some ten year old kid came up to me and said "Do you need something?" and I was like "what?" and he repeated "Do you need something?" with gritted teeth emphasis on "need" and I was "what the hell are you talking about?". Then he threw a baby's dummy in my face and ran away.

― fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, November 21, 2013 9:17 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My memories of visiting WDW exactly seven years ago (as a bratty 16 year old):

MGM Studios being the best thing ever (apart from the weird Drew Carey ride/experience). Massive shouts to the Aerosmith Rock'n'Rollercoaster ("GET READY TO MERGE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER MERGED BEFORE"). The Indiana Jones stunt show being better than pretty much any film (even if the mime who warms the crowed up did racist mimes at one point). Watching some form of Thanksgiving/Christmassy firework show.

Getting weirdly teary at the Magic Kingdom show when everyone has a go at Donald Duck for some reason but we all learn that DREAMS COME TRUE! Obviously seeing the castle for the first time is a real woahhhh moment. Going on the old time steamboat thing and, again, finding it weirdly emotional. Queuing for hours for the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride behind a girl who looked just like Maeby Funke in a Dr Pepper T-shirt and not being able to stop myself from looking at her throughout.

Typhon Lagoon being as much fun as anyone can have involving water.

The repeated shouts of OPA OPA OYSTER!!! at Seaworld/getting to ride the Kraken about 6 times in a row at the start of the day because there was zero queue. My mum CRYING at the Shamu show/us beinbg sat next to a very patriotic American who alternated between heartfult salutes and whoops and spitting on the floor.

Animal Kingdom being really shit because we went on the log flume kind of thing and I was the only person in our boat to get absolutely drenched and it really did ruin my day. Didn't even enjoy going on the safari thing and seeing the gorillas.

REFUSING TO SWIM WITH DOLPHINS AT DISCOVERY COVE. I lost my glasses that day too.

Other memories of my only American trip to date:

Spending Thanksgiving itself at this park with a big old house in it nearish to Kissimee that also had a river full of manatees and gar and being wowed by seeing manatees just hanging out. We had a lasagane for dinner purchased from a Walmart.

Going on a boat trip on the everglades and my mum flirting with the captain. We didn't see any alligators sadly.

Blasting Power 95.3 (ORLANDO'S NEW NUMBER ONE FOR HIP HAAAWP) and hearing My Love by JT/I wanna Love You by Akon/Showstopper by Dainty Kane on repeat all day every day and loving them. Also endless adverts for Fazolis.

Driving back from Kennedy Space Center and seeing dolphins jumping about in the water. Also liked Lee, the guy who drove the shuttle bus around the center, top #bants ("please take all of your valuables when you leave. That includes your children, folks." "shake an alligators hand with me. five dollars.")

Eating absolutely joyless dinners in Sizzler and Golden Corral.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Monday, November 25, 2013 7:18 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also, being corny, I picture Soma as a Cloud Giant, thousand-yard towering D&D humanoid made of mist and storms. Lighting twitches through his slowly roiling body, spills ceaseless from his eyes. His weightless fist, the size of a village, comes down a hurricane, soft as it is terrible, a mile-wide swath of ruin in his wake. I like the feeling and image. It's not something I get from much other music.

― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 11:20 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Night on Bald Soma

come on, that's just a saruman speech right?

that dwight yorke post is amazing

i keep thinking about people telling you how the beach boys never actually liked surfing, apart from dennis, & wondering what it would be like if middle aged kells had actually lost interest in sex, infrequently pursued women, hadn't talked to anyone for a couple of weeks prior to the cover shoot for this record, just asked dutiful questions about the girl's career & was kinda glibly professional, only concentrated on pussy as a distillation of his muse

― love mike love (ko komo) (schlump), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 5:38 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

5. Mrs Mooney, 11th grade English. Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal, you got A-pluses in all your elective Humanities subjects (journalism, World Literature, Theatre Arts, Cinema, blah blah) and you were skating around the edge of the Minneapolis artypunk scene, would you look kindly on being given C's by some patronising prannet who all the other teachers had informed you was on tranquilisers? You have to be really shit as an educator for the STAFF to take against you in conversation with a student. I felt like Someone Was Jealous and was pretty focussed on getting A's as I was plotting my escape (noble cause) rather than being a big swot. The one- two punch of telling her she was doomed to teach a syllabus until her eventual early retirement on mental health grounds when my book APPEARED on that syllabus and going 'Oh! My grandmother told me about what happened at the Commodore Hotel back then!' when I spotted the family namecheck in the Great Gatsby (party scene, natch) scored major smartarse points with fellow students and the woman eventually backed down. Aced the final. Eat my dust, baby.

― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001 1:00 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wowww

Anecdote kind of horrible to the poor woman who committed the cardinal sins of being a crap teacher AND having emotional problems (hmm wonder if the 2 are related, well let's give her a kicking for it anyway eh) but damn you can't fault suzy as a raconteuse, can you?

is that french for 'knows people'

Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal

Nepotism beats anxiety in the top trumps of life. Take that, loser!

― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001

Did suzy ever become a famous author?

well, she met a lot of famous authors - does that count?

suzy is Lena Dunham?

Suzy Sontag maybe

And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?

i'm just here to read about lena dunham

for the record I put that post here because it might be my favourite thing I've ever read on ilx, not to sneer at anyone

(I kind of share some of wins' reservations about it being mean to Mrs Mooney, but that paragraph is just undeniable)

xxp soref read an old post that he thought was strikingly written, I agreed and added that suzy is a great poster for that but that I thought this particular story as told was shitty for the reasons stated (and I'm right about that fwiw), some ppl made jokes, treeship asked a question. I'm not beefing, I don't know about anyone else.

xp See! Soref is one of the nice posters, I think it would have helped to know that. Not every c&p is snark

considering change my dn to 'one of the nice posters', so people won't mistake my c&p's for snark

And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?

― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, January 17, 2014 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh, just go away

suze rules, yall need bigger cunts

soref you & nakh could do a "good c&p bad c&p" routine

I didn't realize suzy was an active poster i thought it was a one-off from a long time ago and I thought it was mean spirited so i was being snarky

I'd be making a rod for my own back the next time I absent-mindedly post something cuntish, though

suze rules

suzy is a great poster

I feel like there's a way we can both be right matt

I liked the suzy post! I thought this thread was largely for well-written posts, which it was.

"Haven’t sold a wrap in so long."

"No one remembers how to make one.”

every once in a while, i think of the albino hat and i start cracking up. i guess it could also go on the posts that haunt my thoughts thread.

I found myself submerged into the "dark web," where I could fully indulge in my dual pleasures of human trafficking and buying exotic leather goods. i bought gloves made from the skin taken from the back of a young cambodian girl. they were gorgeous. i was hooked. i bought more. a beautiful leather wallet with prison tattoos that i keep on a chain, taken from the thigh of a russian hustler. i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:53 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

posterity will little note nor long remember what we tweet here. even the NSA won't gaf.

ilx as an archive of emphemeral thoughts resembles that paul bunyan story where the winter got so cold that words froze as they were spoken and were swept into the corner of the room, where, when the spring thaw came and the words melted, they just made a cacophonous babble.

― Aimless, Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have had two telemarketers call up asking for my wife, and both asked if I was her butler. I guess it must be the accent, but still- how many people in Berkeley have butlers?

― adaml (adaml), Thursday, October 23, 2003 2:47 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the suzy was posted bcuz it had striking imagery it just happened to also be a pvmic

who is suzy irl

was "adaml" adamrl?, aka nordicskilla, & if so, is it too ilx.xls to note this poster's ethnic origin & so eligibility for almost cartoon butlerishness?

posterity will little note nor long remember what we tweet here. even the NSA won't gaf.

ilx as an archive of emphemeral thoughts resembles that paul bunyan story where the winter got so cold that words froze as they were spoken and were swept into the corner of the room, where, when the spring thaw came and the words melted, they just made a cacophonous babble.

― Aimless, Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:12 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*makes jerk-off motion*

about as striking as cold oatmeal

this is not a place for judgment.