Why do I hate that thing (excluding image macros) that people put on facebook? Why am I such a jerk?

also, the passive-aggressive posts directed at unnamed co-workers/associates of the status-poster, for the sole purpose of moaning and not actually engaging in constructive communication to solve their problems with each other.

Those can be pretty grim. Certain people do that a lot.

Erotically charged holiday/nightclub photographs and the comments they engender

Nothing Could Prepare Me For This Comment Engendered By An Erotically-charged Holiday/Nightclub Photo

especially the dolphin

except the shark

haha!

my one republican/libertarian fb friend had a long screed today about how the founding fathers were geniuses but the current government is run by idiots. (imo they're not idiots, but they're way too in the thrall of multinational corporations and big oil and lobbyists.)

They Went For A Canoe Ride To The Island. What They Saw On The Way Back Was Unimaginable.
www.lifebuzz.co
I can't believe they caught it on film.

Is it sad I think I know what that one is without even having anything to click on? (footage of s flock of birds swooshing about (I know theres a proper term for it but the word escapes me).

"footage" sounds correct to me

She Stretches And Glides Her Body Over A Blank Canvas When I Realized What She...

You Won't Believe Who Is The Centrefold Model In This Dirty Magazine You're Tugging Off To

No I meant theres a word for the close formation flock swooping some birds do.

I knew that I was just acting in the spirit of the thread title

such a jerk

His First Four Sentences Made Me Skeptical. But His Fifth Sentence Blew My Mind. The Sixth Made Me Question The Existence Of God. By His Seventh I Was Beating Off. I Cleaned Up During His Eighth Just In Time For His Ninth To Blow My Mind All Over Again.

Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.
And when you learn it you'll cry.

(It's murmuration)

*sobs*, shares.

Know what? The "hide posts from Zimbio" thing does nothing.

http://i.imgur.com/Z2djWpG.jpg http://i.imgur.com/fzIreVg.jpg

l-o-l

Man Tries to Hug a Wild Lion, You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!
earthporm.com
When you hear of someone trying to hug a wild lion, you immediately think you know exactly what's about to happen. But trust me when i say, you will not

Trayce, You Wouldn't Believe The Word For Flocks of Bird Swooping in Formation.
And when you learn it you'll cry.

(It's murmuration)

Hahaha! (thankyou. I thought it was sussuration so I was close)

She's all I need, all my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussuration

You're the meaning in my life...

A Guy Started Dancing Alone – But What Happened Next Was Amazing

Here Are The Top 37 Things Dying People Say They Regret. Learn From It Before It’s Too Late

repost of a reblog of a german article which is a re-write of an australian article that says "hey vegans! you killed a load of animals. macho red meat eaters save the world with kindness to animals you narcissistic hippies. suck it up!"
wack science, warped invective & cherry picked statistics in original.
bros meat down yo's i gotsta loves me some red steak y'all

Not a vegan but fuck that

https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/l/t1/1623643_10152234053285120_1303368807_n.jpg

a new and deadlier form

oops wrong thread

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

these have been really bad this week in the wake of that 'strangers kissing' thing, every third thing on my feed is now *bad* black and white images of people doing something banal for the first time, or doing it every day for a year, and "The result is beyond..." (actually gets cut off there, fuuuuuuuck this). I realize a lot of these tropes have been around for ages, but it's the crummy low-contrast badly-lit B&W that unites them now.

amazed at how quickly + shamelessly huffpo's adapted to the upworthy brand of titles

Christ, event the NY Times and Slate, too.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1922333_10153965577400724_1709314915_n.jpg

look at her freakishly small hands

actual lol and wtf

that is maybe the funniest thing ive seen on this thread

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Tempted to unfriend everyone I see repost this passive-aggressive bullshit:

"I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family that's why I don't have many on Facebook, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste please, DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word"

Ha, yeah, instant unfriend, also confusing as hell. Copy and paste, but add ONE word about how they met? Like at the end it would just say ''tree'' or ''street'' or ''doggystyle''?

"Is 'crack house' one word or two?"

I think what it's trying to say is: "Leave a word in the comments section saying how we met, then copy-paste this message into your own status so that I can leave a word on yours saying how we met." So the only way you can prove your friendship to this person is to impose the same friendship test on all your other friends...

facebook is the worst

i don't have any data to back this up but i feel like there was a moment recently when facebook entered its decline -- like i can more easily envision its passing over to the land of myspace, friendster, etc. i mean, everyone know it would pass eventually but i feel like it's going to be sooner? no one seems excited about it anymore. i could be wrong though. i dont know what the kids are doing these days

The kids want nothing to do with Facebook, apparently.

I'm starting to see the same signs I saw with Flickr. Hit someone's profile, and yeah, they're still commenting on others' posts or posting a link to Between Two Ferns, but look at their albums. Seeing a lot of ones where the last one updated is something like "Christmas 2012" or "At the Lake 2013".

I'm finally at the point where I have Facebook friends and Instagram friends. I don't know what will come next to tie everything back together, but it seems really segmented right now and Facebook -- with its older audience, news feeds in the corner about Will Wheaton and menu bar full of apps that seemed to have come from out of nowhere -- is looking very Prodigy-like lately.

The counterpoint to that "the kids don't use facebook" argument is that we don't know that they won't start using it more when they get older. Snapchat and tumblr aren't of much use for creating a page to share pictures of your baby with family, tracking down your high school classmates, etc.

But obvs that doesn't mean that something isn't going to come along that fills those purposes better

I gotta feel that the latter will come true before the former.

this is better for that 77 thread but i'm not on 77 anymore so

http://drinksfeed.com/bacon-shot-glasses-dipped-in-chocolate-and-filled-with-whisky/

"friends day" videos

A friend of mine did a long series of selfies with Shaq Soda cans, and a good chunk of his friends day video was made up of that.

http://www.bevreview.com/wp-content/comingsoon_arizona_sodashaq_creamsoda1.jpg

haha that is a+

i saw my friends day video and i didn't recognize two of the people, also one of the photos was of david bowie and another one was of a painting of a dog.

i don't have the right thread for this. my friend, who is a very straight-shooting matter of fact person just had a baby with his wife (this is their first). he posted the facebook album of photos of course, and the album is titled "New Child" and this just keeps cracking me up.

and now something that belongs on this thread

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general. There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many people but the scars of the past, they never go away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes the price isn't worth the reward.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general.

I'm standing motionless in a locked room until the end of time

"Son, as a reward for not losing your temper today, I am making you go pry nails out of a fence."

#boymom

just saw someone share an old World News Daily Report item entitled SAUDI ARABIA: FAMOUS RACEHORSE TO BE EXECUTED FOR BEING HOMOSEXUAL and comment "Brass Eye level of stupidity"

ironyyyyy!

ex coworker just went through some kind of bad breakup, posting like 20 of these aday :/

https://i.imgur.com/kJwM1iq.jpg

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”
The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Johnny: “9.”
Principal: “6 x 6?”
Johnny: “36.”
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”
Johnny: “Legs”
Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”
The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Johnny: “Pants.”
Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”
Johnny: “Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”

http://emojipedia-us.s3.amazonaws.com/cache/2b/ac/2bacdc9269f34c79dec4dd966b8dac57.png

A dog does.... pants?

Dogs pant

dog-pants joke depends on excluding the subject of the sentence ("It pants" would convey the sense more clearly + spoil the joke) which I can see feeling somehow incomplete or incorrect, grammatically, but in the context of "answering a trick question" I let it slide

weird how such processes happen completely 'under the radar' -- until something goes wrong & communication breaks down (cf Heidegger on the ontological status of tools)

...why am i explaining jokes to people on ilx, instesad of laughing at jokes in another 30-minute netflix comedy program?

"instesad: the app for when you would prefer to be sad instead

hahaha

thanks both of you. yeah i get the joke now but once it failed to land it just got stuck in the throat as it were.

please stop with this hilarious Mass thing

how tf am I still seeing people posting/being tagged in shitty ads for discounted Ray-Bans on facebook in 2017?

[I know it's unintentional but come on]

https://scontent.fphl2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19756702_1599164503448724_6422587242939143484_n.jpg?oh=e07eb664149a28e8f026d2baf064eb56&oe=59F9BCB7

That's horrible. I feel bad for the ellipses.

haven't been on facebook properly for ages. decided to start posting again to keep in touch with friends and family with whom i wouldn't otherwise keep in touch. now in an argument with some 'be nice to tories otherwise they won't vote for you' centrist bullshit friends. :/

if by "being nice", they meant don't carve your initials in their backside with a razor, or waterboard them, or repeatedly slap them about the face and head, then your centrist friends have a valid point and are not entirely out of line, imo.

otoh, if they meant do not challenge tories when they talk nonsense, or spout racism/sexism, or cite non-existent 'facts' or blatantly incorrect 'history', or merely indulge in mean-spiritedness, then fuck 'em.

tbh aimless i think this was the crux of the argument. i wasn't so sure about the initials on the backside or the slapping i'm afraid.

i mean wasn’t so sure about them being bad.

Is there a way to change your visibility settings so it doesn't show everyone when you're going to an event? I find FB helpful to keep track of what shows I'm going to but I don't like that it clutters up peoples' feeds every time I add a danged event.

https://i.imgur.com/LdBcelY.jpg